True Vacation

I have had about 2 and 1/2 minutes of internet this whole week (which is probably a blessing).We are having a fabulous time at the beach.  We are here with my sister, Dawn and her family.  The cousins are playing and the grown-ups are having a great time too.   For the past few years, I usually post each days beach photos but I will be honest...I have not taken nearly the amount of photos that I usually do.  I have been relaxing and rafting and body surfing and jumping waves with the kids instead.  Here are a few from day two (I think)....

Cousins on the beach. Kate called Ashton her Cousin~friend. It was so cute!

Kate adores her Daddy~o....that is what she calls him.

The above photo is not very good but it makes me laugh...Kate is the little chihuahua in the lower left:)

Life is Good

Thank you for all of the great feedback from the last post. I am so glad that many of you could benefit from our situation. I was overwhelmed by all of the private comments and e-mails. Thank you.

We are at the beach for the week:)

A huge Ah-hah! moment for me

Luckily, our children are all pretty well behaved for other people.  However, one of our children is especially adored by everyone he meets. Teachers, coaches, parents, babysitters, camp counselors...you name it, they adore him.  He is very charismatic. He wins every award there is for being a good student/classmate/teammate/camper/Christian/citizen.  If there is an award, he is the winner.  However, Mr. Award winner would often display less than winning behavior at home.  He would talk back very disrespectfully to me and my husband.  He would rage and throw fits sometimes.  It really tried my patience and it went on and off  for a couple of years.  Whenever I tried to confide in someone about his behavior, they stared at me in utter disbelief and responded by saying, "Not Mr. polite, hard working, award winner?! That is so unlike him." I definitely I had a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation going on.

We tried everything.  I tried the Smart Discipline charts.  I took away consequences.  I yelled. I even took said child to a therapist last year.  No one else saw his outbursts. No one else even believed that he had outbursts. In fact, I think the therapist thought Dave and I were making it all up. Like everyone else, she fell in love with the child. I fired her.

Just a few weeks ago, I was at my wits end again.  The talking back had gotten completely out of hand. In desperation, I pulled out my favorite books on discipline.  Something led me to an old standby (8 weeks to a well behaved child).  While re-reading some of the chapters I had an epiphany.  I realized that when my son talks back disrespectfully to me, I drop everything that I am doing and give him my full attention.  It is negative attention for sure but it is attention nonetheless.   I do not tolerate disrespect so I go to great lengths to address his behavior.  In sum, he was getting A LOT of one on one attention for being disrespectful at home.

I went on to realize that "Mr. Awards" is so well behaved elsewhere because he is lavishly rewarded for being good (at school, camp, church etc).  I expect my children to behave at home and while I do praise them sometimes, I don't lay it on too thick.  This particular child responds to attention and praise (he even told me it is his love language) but I was giving attention to the wrong behavior. 

So I had to do something that felt so instinctually wrong to me.  I had to completely and utterly ignore his talking back and disrespect.  I did not blink.  I did not punish or take away privileges. I totally ignored his outbursts. Sometimes, he would repeat his attitude filled responses but I prevailed.  I ignored.  Then, I would start throwing around lavish praise for anything I saw him doing well.  "I love the way you put your dishes in the dishwasher after breakfast, young man." "Thank you for brushing your teeth the  first time I asked." Guess what? It has only been a little over a week, but the talking back has almost disappeared.  He is so much easier and his little face glows whenever I praise him for doing what I was expecting from him all along.  I never in a million years would have thought that ignoring disrespectful behavior would yield more respectful behavior but for this particular child, it was the answer.

I hope this helps someone else out there.  

Do you think it is a bad sign when...

Every time you drive past the local CVS, your daughter calls out "I want cherry flavored!" (as in what flavor she wants her prescriptions)?

And you know I am the anti- antibiotic Mom.  I loathe them!

Yes, our sweet Kate is sick again.  The doctor thinks it is another double ear infection but the wax is so bad in one ear...they cannot see it.  One ear is for sure infected though! Fever, oozing nose and eyes..it is not pretty.  The doc gave her some codeine for pain.  I think it is working because she told Dave that Scout (our schnoodle) has feathers and then laughed! (Scout indeed does not have feathers, in case anyone was wondering).

An interview with Quinn Cummings, Author

When I was a kid, I adored Quinn Cummings because I imagined her to be just like the characters I saw her play on screen.  I thought she was quirky and sarcastic, bookish and wise beyond her years. In sum, I thought she was just like me as a kid.  Quinn Cummings and Melissa Gilbert were my imaginary BFF's. Now that I have discovered her blog (The QC Report) and her new book, Notes from the Underwire, I realize that she is quirky and funny and bookish and wise. She is also an entertaining and witty writer with a prolific vocabulary.  Those are traits I always admire in a person. I can still imagine us as good albeit clumsy friends.  

Notes from the Underwire is a collection of non-fiction, funny and poignant essays about Cumming's everyday life.  It is a great read for us Moms because you can read a chapter at a time in your stolen moments of freedom. 

Quinn (oh yes~we are on a first name basis now:-)  graciously allowed me to e-mail her some questions to post here on the blog. Here they are...

One of the things I really like about your blog is that your posts  
range from commentaries on Jon and Kate to an analysis of the Lily  
Pulitzer catalog and Instyle magazine to the history of the Spanish  
influenza and excessive gift giving during the holidays (which is a  
personal favorite of mine). So, I am curious how you decide each week  
what to write about (and what not to write about) and who you envision  
your readers to be.

 

The nice thing about it being my blog is that I don't have to answer to anyone. If I feel as if the cat needs to be a topic three weeks in a row, she is. If Kate Gosselin appalls me, I wait around for a few days asking myself "Yes, but what exactly do I find so maddening about her?" and I can rest easy knowing that if I can't finish it by Tuesday (the ideal publishing day for me), I send her and the rest of her benighted family up on Wednesday or Thursday. Sometimes, it's just a phrase and I have to wait around and see if it leads anywhere or is just a weird little stand-alone. And some weeks my mother's cat bites me and I have to go to the ER and even in the middle of my pain I'm thinking "Well, THAT'S the blog for the week." My reader? GOOD question. I've never thought exactly about it before, but I think she's something like my friend Veronica. Veronica knows me well and loves me anyway. When I was in the final throes of getting the book in, I cut my bangs in a moment of weakness. When I told her, she hooted "What are you, twelve?" and then offered to help me figure out how to hide them. I like to think my readers would help hide weird bangs.


I loved the chapter in the book on summer camps! I laughed so hard.   
Since it is summer and my boys happened to return from "Camp Utopia"  
this weekend, I was wondering what you and Alice have planned for the  
summer?

Not nearly enough, because I thought I might be travelling for the book and I was going to arrange for her to go with me any time I went anywhere. Only it's 2009 and no one is doing book tours and I'm doing the blog book tour, which I love. But a blog book tour means I'm at home a lot, begging for quiet from a child who has the same need for exercise as an Arabian horse. Cobbling this summer together even as we speak. 

I read your explanation in the book about why you never wanted to get  
married but I am wondering if after all of these years with Consort,  
your fears have changed at all?

Every couple of years, I'll hear about some friend of a friend who had been with her boyfriend for many years-- complete with offspring and a house--who decide to get married, only to get divorced within a year. I get chills and shout inwardly, "Ah-HA!!!" and continue in my shacked-up way. We're not married not because I take what we have lightly, but because I take it so seriously that I'm loathe to do anything which make shake the dynamic. In short, my phobia rages unabated, thanks for asking.

You have had some fun and difficult jobs, which has been your favorite  
thus far?

 

Mom. Never had a job before where I wake up to learn someone has vomited, and both their bedding and their person are expected to be cleaned by me. And I think nothing stronger than, "Should have picked up some extra fitted sheets at Target last week." I love this job. 


One of the things I found most appealing about your book is that you  
are so willing to make fun of yourself and I could totally identify  
with that.  I walk into doors too.  I am seriously craft challenged  
and I often say exactly the wrong thing.  So, although I was hugely  
entertained by your self-effacing humor, now I want to know what you  
are really good at (aside from writing)?

Gosh. All manner of homeless animals know to come find me. I'm very punctual. I'm a good friend in a crisis. I remember random science stuff. And I can make exactly one thing well; a caramelized onion, tomato and basil frittata. The kid despises it but trust me, it's delicious.

Any more books in the works? I hope so.

 

Sure. Oh, no. Maybe. Probably. Possibly. 


Thank you so much Quinn. It has been a delight! If you are reading this, I must tell you that I sustained an injury while purchasing your book.  A Barefoot Contessa cookbook leapt off the shelf at me slicing my ankle and dripping blood all over the bookstore carpet. I am fine but I knew you would appreciate the irony:)  It is catchy!

You can order Quinn's new book on her website.  You can also get it at your local bookstore or on-line. You will laugh out loud!!!  You might even shed a tear or two during the chapter where you read about her fierce loyalty to her Mom.

Harry, the entrepreneur

Harry is always thinking of a way to earn money.  He has scrubbed baseboards.  He has been an issue solver and rock seller.  He has made homemade jam and clay pots. He has hosted shell and rock sales in front of our house.  He and Will often transform their rooms into "museums" (mineral, science, stuffed animals).  He has been a guru and offered nightly entertainment.

I am telling you this kid has a new idea for earning money every day. He never seems to run out of ideas for his small businesses.  Last week, Harry opened a Spa in his bathroom.  

He is no fool...he knew that Kate, our occasional babysitter and I would all pay to receive his services.

He washed my hair...

conditioned and applied mousse....

Then I got a great blow dry (as Kate watched).

After my hair was finished (which looked GORGEOUS;), Harry gave me a luxurious massage.  If you are ever in the area, I would highly recommend his spa. Of course, I am sure that by next week, he will have a new venture!

My Will is 12!

Yes, my sweet Will celebrated a birthday shortly after Miss Katie Ru!  And while her b-day was the ultimate girls celebration his was one for the BOYS!  In fact, I did not even go to his party! And this is why.....

It was a dreadfully HOT summery paint ball party! Will asked me when he was 7 or 8 if he could have a paintball party and being the gun loathing Mom that I am (a theme recently?) I always said no. Then one day after tons of nagging on his part, I said, "Maybe when you are 12!" Well, he interpreted that as a promise!

His best friend from Virginia, Logan (and his Mom, my good friend, Amber) even flew in for the weekend! We had a GREAT time with them!!!!

Harry was technically too young to play (and he is only a whopping 42 pounds!) but they made an exception to let him play at his brother's (who is his best friend) party.  According to Dave and Will, he held his own with the big kids!

Will had the time of his life even though everyone came home very sweaty and with a few welts!
These amazing photos were taken by crusher...um I mean my wonderful husband:)

Will has definitely grown up a lot recently. He is looking more and more like a teen. He thinks about what he wears and how he looks and the girls are really drawn to him. He is also about the nicest boy you would ever meet.  I mean that too.  He comes home and asks me how my day was!  Even my husband ( who is the world's BEST) doesn't do that everyday.  Seriously, he is a GREAT GREAT kid.  I just hope the teen years don't ruin him.

He begged me to take him shopping for aviator glasses.  He thinks he looks quite cool in them.  He is so retro!

Tomorrow~ a little update on my entrepreneur, Harry,  Then I think I will be all caught up!

Kate's catch-up

I never really posted about how Kate spent her 3rd birthday.  I have a lot of catching up to do...so this is going to be a VERY long post.  Sorry.  This is her scrapbook for now:)

So back to Miss Kate's birthday....before the boys were allergic to doughnuts, we used to let them have one in bed on their birthday...so since Miss Kate is not allergic, she started the day with a doughnut.  I think we had a pretty normal summer day (no camps for anyone).  I always let the children choose their b-day dinner and Kate chose pizza.  That was tough...we tired to encourage something else that the boys could eat but she was steadfast in her choice, so I cooked something else for them. After pizza, we had a b-day cupcake....

Then it was time for presents....

Aunt Staci and the gang sent a GREAT Disney Princess dress-up chest. Kate LOVES it!

Miss Di sent some fabulous books (Pinkalicious and The first Dog) along with some bracelets and CINDERELLA! Let me just tell you that Miss Kate is princess obsessed but Cinderella is by far her favorite and her DVD was scratched from watching it so much.  Thank you Miss Di for a new one!!!

A little kiss for brother, Harry!

Then, Cinderella danced with her Daddy!  In the movie, Kate thinks that Prince charming is Cinderella's Daddy.  In real life, she says her Daddy is the king! They are incredibly sweet together. (In case, you are wondering....Mommy is a princess along with Kate and Will is a prince and Harry is a knight according to Kate's little Disney fantasy world:)

After Cinderella, the Little Mermaid is Kate's other obsession.  So, even though I generally loathe these licensed clothes...I saw this bathing suit at Costco and knew Kate would love it...and as you can see she does! 

This is Kate's gift from me...a cupcake charm....

My plan is to buy her a charm every year (and write about its significance in a little journal) and then when she is old enough (maybe 8) buy her the bracelet and have them all put on it. I am even going back to get charms for her 1st and 2nd b-day. This year (and last) she was in love with cupcakes!

In other Kate news....

Kate disassembled her crib (with Daddy's help) and now sleeps in her big girl bed.

She can ride a bike....

And she catches butterflies!

She adopted her first pet!  Kate found this little waterbug in her pool and decided he would be a good pet.  That is, until Harry accidentally ran over him with his bike tire:(

Luckily, Kate rebounded form the loss quickly!

I almost forgot..she named her little bug "Happy Face"  So cute!

Yesterday, I took her to a little pool and we had a blast...

Whew~all caught up with Kate. Tomorrow, I need to catch up on Will (it was his b-day too). It will be much shorter though.

Camp Update...

We had such a nice quiet day yesterday just the 3 of us.  We went out to breakfast, drove into the country and took some photos, and made a delicious quiche.  Dave and Kate taught me how to make homemade crust from scratch....

Dave and Kate cook/bake together all the time. This time they showed me how to make the crust from scratch.

I made the filling (with their help). Spinach, mushrooms, feta, garlic and onion. Recipe here. However, I only used 2 tbs of butter and it was perfect.

Obviously, this is not gluten or dairy free. That is why we could make it while the boys are away. We are probably going to have pizza this week too:)

It was so good!

But I must admit, I was wondering ALL day if the boys arrived safely at camp and what they were doing.  It is a Christian camp and I knew they would have devotionals and worship...but these are the photos that were waiting on the website for me

(they are small because I lifted them from the website)

I had to laugh! You might remember this post about Will where he wrote on his school application about how he wanted to try shooting games such as paintball, skeet etc. Leave it to my boys to find guns the first day even though I loathe them:)

P.S. Please let me know if you are actually reading this blog now that it is private. I know I am just staring to post...but I get the feeling no one is here:)