family update

First a giant THANK YOU!  I simply cannot believe the number of encouraging and supportive messages I got yesterday (mostly through IG direct messages).  You guys know how to make a person feel good.  I truly had no idea that many of you really missed our blog.

I thought I'd give a family update here since many of you said you really miss that. It's long.

(this was at the MFA Houston Bambu exhibit this summer)

Dave doesn't have social media so I try to keep his profile low but he doing well.  He is golfing a bit, fishing and working.  He travels to Spain and France and Israel for work sometimes.

 (Will leaving for his junior year of college in August)

Will is in his 3rd year of college and doing really well. He turned 21 this summer and we celebrated in PA (post to come). He is in a fraternity which I have mixed feelings about but I think he has found a really healthy balance of activities in college.  He is majoring in Environmental Earth Science and Sustainability.  He also has a focus (maybe a minor) in Geology and is usually on the Dean's list. He works in a biology lab doing limnology research.  I don't know exactly what he does but it involves plankton and larvae and water:)  He is involved in some Christian groups on campus and is a Scholar Leader this year. This January he will be doing a J-term study abroad in Italy.  As a science major, he could not really do a semester abroad because they do not offer the courses/labs he needs but this should be a fun experience for him.  He will be in Rome with a short trip to Florence.  He is looking for a summer internship for 2019 in Environmental Science or Sustainability and is willing to go anywhere for the opportunity.  So, let me know if you know of any!  It is hard to find internships in that field. I am so incredibly proud of the man he has become.

(A fabulous event Harry planned and put on last Spring)

Harry is doing great. He finished his 10th and final year at Camp Ozark this summer and had a blast.  That place is etched deep in his heart. He is a senior at an all boy college prep school and ready to get on to his next adventure.  Lots of you asked about his migraines. They are pretty much gone.  He will get one occasionally but overall they are rare.  He has become an incredible photographer and focuses mostly on music/concert photography.  He is also still an entrepreneur and has so many fabulous business ideas going.  Harry is my kid who really did not like reading but once he found books on building businesses and marketing etc, he has his nose in a book a lot. He has applied to 8 colleges (UT, Baylor, Loyola New Orleans, Tulane, Loyola Marymount, University of San Diego, USC and University of Santa Clara).  He is super smart and I think he will have some great choices.  He refused to apply to any of the excellent business schools up north because he hates the cold! I truly cannot believe he will be gone in 10 months but he never really loved high school and is wise beyond his years.  College will be so good for him.

(Harry went to Seaside this summer with another family and lots of friends.)


(Kate's elementary school graduation)

Kate is in middle school and very busy.  As many of you know she quit competitive gymnastics and it turned out to be a great decision (going to write a post on this soon).  She ended up going back to dance and has just flourished.  Last Spring, she was invited to participate in a photography class through Rice University and loved it.  She is doing magnet dance, art and gymnastics at her school and she wants to join everything!  She dances at our local studio and auditioned for the company this year and made it.  She is in 4 company dances this year so she is at the studio 6 days a week.  I was very hesitant for her to dance so much but it is about 11 hours a week which is HALF the time she was in the gym.  She manages it well with homework and has all A's. She really loves dance and there is none of the pressure that stressed her out in gymnastics. She has a fabulous group of girls she dances with and they are all friends. She is so happy.  She still loves to bake but I don't love all that sugar in our house so we have cut down on that a little bit.  She bakes for friends and has a few "customers" who pay her for cookies etc.  She loves to read and is just a happy 12 year old.

(Scout is good too.  She is almost 12 years old so slowing down a bit but such a sweet dog)

I am pretty good.  I actually had a very rough year.  I won't go into specifics but I got very very sick after Hurricane Harvey.  I lost weight, couldn't eat and had some serious infections.  I have worked really hard to get myself healthy again.  I had some relapses and setbacks but I am doing well.  I work part time in my office a few blocks from home seeing clients for marriage, relationship, parenting and life coaching/counseling.  I also speak about once a month at schools, churches and other organizations on Parenting and Family and Marriage.  My most popular talks this year are on Technology and Kids and Boundaries in families. I love my job.  There is no better feeling than knowing you are helping someone make their family or marriage stronger.  And I have the best clients.  I am also in a few book clubs that I really enjoy, a fabulous women's prayer group that meets once a week and I still go to Bar Method for exercise.  I try to go about 3-4 days a week but with my health issues it has been sporadic this year.

So that is where we all are today.  As I proofread, I realized that it sounds like a lot of bragging about my kids.  Let me add...we have our fair share of talking back and anxiety and mood swings and other problems in our house.  We do.  I definitely am sharing the ups here.  And for the most part, these kids are pretty easy and I am super proud of them in their own unique ways.


So far people have said they want to see recipes, fashion, family updates and parenting topics.  Let me know in the comments if you have other suggestions for blogging topics.

Taking Will to College (part one)

This post is so long overdue.  I kept writing it in my head starting the week after we took Will to college but each week I felt a little different and I wanted to get it right.   It felt important to me to share the feelings I experienced for two reasons...one is that I like to keep this as a memory book of sorts for our family.  And secondly, I wished that I had been more prepared for what I would feel and experience these last few months (that will be in part 2).  I know that every single parent has a unique relationship and therefore a unique experience of launching their children.  But this is our story.


First of all, the timing of when we took Will to college was tough.  We needed to leave on Kate's first day of school. We would have loved to take Harry with us on this trip but he was already 2 weeks into school.  He is a sophomore at a rigorous college prep school so he could not miss the week of school to drive up to Ohio and back. So, he stayed here with family friends.  He and Dave did get to fly up in October to visit Will for a weekend though.

Kate did not feel comfortable staying here without us and her principal and teacher both agreed that she could miss the first few days of school without falling behind.  So, August 22nd was Kate's first day of school and her school requires that everyone be present on day one at least until attendance is taken.  We took her to school that morning. Then, Will and I went to his favorite local place for breakfast tacos as we were simply passing the time until we could pick Kate up from school and hit the road for Ohio.  At 9:30 (official attendance time) we picked Kate up and starting driving northeast.  It was actually a really fun road trip.

First day of 4th grade photo.

Will walking his little sister into school (for the last time ever!)

All packed up and ready to go!

Will really did not bring that much to school (especially compared to what girls bring!)

Our first stop (after driving for 12 hours) was Franklin TN.  Luckily, it was on our route and I had an even bigger reason for wanting to stop there.  Shana is a fellow adoptive Mom who had one of the first blogs about her experience adopting Sophie Lu from China.  I remember vividly when I found her blog as we were waiting for our referral for Kate. It was so awesome to find another Mom going through the same process as we were going through. We quickly became "blog friends" and after Kate came home and was having trouble sleeping, I emailed Shana and asked if we could talk about attachment and sleep issues.  Then we starting talking on the phone.  And we never stopped.  We have become the best of friends but we had never met in person.  So imagine my joy when I realized that we would be driving right through TN on our way.

I will admit that I was a tiny bit nervous.  We have such a wonderful and deep friendship and I really did not want that to change.  Well, our visit was FABULOUS!  We had the best time with Shana, Michael and their kids.  Everyone got along so well and we just laughed and laughed and laughed.  It was perfect.  In fact, we loved it so much that we stopped on the way home and extended our trip by a day to spend more time with them.

Kate, Sasha, Sophie Lu and Ollie

Kate loved the farm life!



Dave and I really love downtown Franklin too!


Shana, Kate and I doing our splits:) And yes, we can both totally do the splits, with wine!

After a visit with Shana and her family, it was time to head to Ohio and get Will moved in.  We did however have another friend to visit along the way.  My friend, Amie lives very close to where Will is going to school.  We were friends with Amie when we both lived in Keswick, VA (Charlottesville area).  We had not seen one another in several years but it was so easy to reconnect.  Amie opened her home to us and we actually stayed there the night after we dropped Will off.  But I really wanted Will to reconnect with Amie and her family too since they live so close to Miami.

We had a great lunch with Amie and then headed to Oxford.  I'll be honest, I was starting to get nervous.  Will is our oldest son and he and I are so close.  We talk about everything.  Somehow in the last two years, Will needed me less as a parent and a close friendship grew between us.  I was terrified of saying goodbye to him.  But I tried to hold all of that in.  This was such an exciting time for him and I did not want my emotions to get in the way.

We pulled up to his dorm.

Since move in day was technically the next day, the campus was empty.  We paid a small fee to be able to move in the night before (worth every cent).  We pulled right up to the dorm and found his tiny, tiny room.  A guy (Alex) on his floor who also moved in early volunteered to help us unload Will's things.  I swear it took 20 minutes flat to get everything up into his room and about another 30 minutes to set it up.  It was the easiest move in in the history of dorm move ins.

Isn't that rug awesome?  It is really old and worn.  
We found it at an amazing thrift store in a really nice part of town.  I love it.

See that knit blanket at the end of the bed?

Well, Miss Kate spent all summer knitting that for Will to take to school. It is HUGE.  Red and white are his school colors.  It was the most thoughtful gift and he loved it. Here are some photos of when she gave it to him (right before we left)

And more dorm room pics...

After we got Will moved in, we ran a few errands, checked into our hotel and went uptown to eat dinner. Kate was so good during this trip.  Parts were definitely boring for a 10 year old but she was a trooper and never complained.  

While we were waiting for our table Kate and I spotted a rainbow. 
 I chose to take that as a sign that God was telling me it would all be ok.  

After dinner, I insisted we get Graeter's ice cream uptown.  It is made in Ohio and it is my favorite ice cream of all time.  I might have had it 3 times in 24 hours on this trip!

Then, we went to Walmart to get Will some snacks and last minute things.  I know it sounds silly but we had so much fun in Walmart at 10 pm that night.  We were all tired and silly and goofing around.  I have a little video of it somewhere.  It sounds dumb but it was a fun little memory.  

The next day, we took our time having breakfast, picking up Will's text books and walking around campus.  The dorm room is SO SMALL and we wanted to give Will's roommate time and space with his parents to get settled.  It would have been really challenging for us all to be crammed in there at the same time.

Will is a lifeguard at the rec center so I enjoyed seeing where he was going to work.



They walked across campus like this.  I walked behind with tears in my eyes.

Once we knew Will's roommate was all moved in, we headed back to the dorm to meet him and his parents.  Will's roommate is also named Will.  They have so much in common.  I really thank God that they became roommates because it seems like a great fit. They get along well and have become good friends.  We met his parents (they're from Indiana) and we all went to lunch together.  They were all so nice.

Big Will and Little Will.  There are actually 5 Wills on their floor. 
 Apparently it was a popular name that year!

Then, it was time to say goodbye. The thing I had dreaded for months was the goodbye.  I just did not know how I would handle it.  I did not want to be a sobbing mess.  After all, this is what we hoped would happen after 19 years of raising Will.  But still, it is hard.  We said our goodbyes at the car.

Kate definitely sniffled after we drove off. I think it was tough for her to say goodbye. Dave and I did surprisingly well.  I don't think I cried at all.  The truth is I felt SO happy for him.  As he showed me around his new campus and town, I realized why he picked Miami University.  Everything about the school was so impressive.  I was a college professor for years so I am tough critic but I could see that it was the perfect place for Will. People were so friendly, welcoming and helpful.  The campus is gorgeous and the college town is so quaint.  It seemed like the quintessential college experience. I had peace in my heart that Will was exactly where he was supposed to be.

After we dropped Will off we went to explore a nearby park. About an hour later we realized he forgot all of his banking documents in the car, so we had to drive back and give them to him.  So we had one more quick goodbye and off we went to stay at Amie's house.  Amie made us a delicious dinner and we all went to get Grater's which is the best ice cream in the world and could cheer up anyone. She was such a gracious hostess on what could have been a tough night for us. Thank you Amie!

All in all it was a really fun and memorable trip.  In part two, I write more about how the weeks were after we got home.  And honestly they were very tough for me.  I will post it tomorrow or Sunday.

Will turned 18!

I feel like the worst blogger.  It has been over a month since I posted.  Kate had a birthday.  Will had a birthday.  Harry "graduated" from 8th grade.  Father's Day happened.  This is the stuff I usually blog about.

I have no real excuse for my lack of blogging.  Yes life is full but it always is.  Every time I sit down to finish  a post (I have several half finished posts), I find something better to do!  It's true.  I am beginning to wonder if my blogging days are coming to an end.

I started writing this post on Will's birthday (a week ago) but am just finishing it now.

Today is Will's 18th Birthday!  When I started this blog, he was just nine years old. I really cannot believe how quickly it has gone by.   Last Saturday night, we took some of his friends out to dinner to celebrate.  Of course, I had to get some photos before we left.

And just so you can see what I have to deal with when trying to get photos....

Will and his girlfriend, Elizabeth.  

Will and his friends sat at one table (two or three of his good guy friends were out of town:(

Kate, Harry, Dave and I sat at a separate table.

Will does NOT like to be the center of attention. He was trying to be a good sport.



Elizabeth, Will, Caroline

After dinner, the kids came over to have cake and hang out.

Kate and I made the cake.  It was dark chocolate with strawberry cream cheese frosting.  It was delicious BUT the frosting was not as thick as I would have liked.  I followed the recipe to the t and refrigerated it for hours.

Elizabeth, Will and Tori

Will has an awesome group of friends.  They have a lot of fun together and they stay out of trouble.

On the actual day of Will's birthday (june 22), I got his birthday morning doughnuts and we went out to Pappasito's for fajitas.  Then we gave him presents.

Although I loved seeing Will with his friends, this birthday was like a sucker punch to my gut.  I have never been one of those parents to wish my kids would stay little forever.  Generally, I have really enjoyed watching them grow up and watching our relationship evolve over time.  Truth be told, I am a better Mom to kids once they are out of the baby/toddler stage.  I have made a conscious effort to try to enjoy each stage but as I looked over at Will at dinner with his friends, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  His childhood is over.  This overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me and it was completely out of nowhere.  I was not anticipating it and it is even hard for me to articulate.

When Will was an infant, he was REALLY colicky.  He was the cutest baby but he was a challenge.  Dave would come home from work and I would say, "Guess what Will did today?"  He would ALWAYS say "Has he filled out his college applications yet?"  Every single day for probably 3 years Dave would ask that.  It was our little private joke about how slow and long the baby days were.  Well, guess what?  He is filling out those college applications now.  And guess what? I feel like it happened overnight.  I really do.

I sat in that restaurant looking at him and I saw all those baby/toddler/kindergarten/littleleague/middleschool moments flash before my eyes.

I  feel like a book I loved reading ended way too soon.  I know I still have many more memories with Will but I feel like I want to hit the rewind button but I can't.  It won't work.  Dave and I have worked really hard to instill values into Will and raise him to be a compassionate human being and he is.  We are SO proud of who he is.  He is honest, intelligent, a volunteer, a good friend and brother, generous, thoughtful and funny.  He has amazing faith and is a leader at his school.  He ALWAYS ask how my day was. ALWAYS!

One more little anecdote... On Will's first birthday, Dave gave me a gorgeous chunky gold charm bracelet from Tiffany's.  It was a thoughtful and extravagant gift and it was completely unexpected.  When Dave gave me the bracelet, he said, "We made it through the first year."  It was a celebration as the first year of Will's life was very difficult on our family. I left my career.  Dave and Will had serious surgeries.  Dave's Mom passed away.  Looking back, I probably had some post part depression (but I did not recognize it at the time). It was HARD.  I looked at that charm bracelet the other day full of charms and memories of the last 18 years.  It almost made me cry.  That was such an awesome gift from Dave.

Happy Birthday Will.   We made it.  I know you will do amazing things with your life. I look forward to the next chapters.

P.S. Kate and Harry leave for Camp Utopia tomorrow.  So, it is my goal to post every day this week to catch up.  Be sure to check back all week.

And I have to share these two fabulous dresses that are 50% right now (use code WEEKEND50).  I LOVE them both so much and I have a hard time finding dresses to fit me well.

Pink Dress

This dress runs a little big.  You can size down if between sizes.  

Striped Dress

You cannot tell from the photo but the stripes are pink:)