The Mom I want to be

I am shouldering a certain level of stress.  There are a lot of things in our life that are undecided or up in the air right now.  Admittedly, I don't do very well with that.  None of it is terribly serious (except maybe one) but still I feel burdened.  So, Monday was a very harried afternoon. I had to get supplies and help Kate do her 100 day project, pick up some friends from school, finish cooking dinner, get Will's friend from school and drive Will and friend to swim team, get Kate and Harry fed and dressed for Judo.  I had to do about 90 things in a matter of an hour and a half.  So, I was a little snappy.

When we got home from school and Hobby Lobby, Harry asked for a snack.  I quickly told him he could have fruit (he did not like that answer).  He sat at the kitchen table and quietly cried while he peeled his banana.  I asked him what was wrong. I honestly thought he was upset because I made him have a healthy snack.  He replied, "All you have done since you picked us up from school today is yell at me and Kate."  I quickly defended myself saying, "I have not yelled once."  And technically, I had not yelled (not like I sometimes do). I was hurrying them along and I was short and aggravated with them but I was not really yelling.  I continued to do the dishes for a minute all the while defending myself in my own thoughts.  Then, I stopped and sat at the table with Harry and looked him in the eye and apologized.  I explained to him that sometimes it is really hard being a Mom and I am so sorry that I took my own stress out on him and Kate.  I was embarrassed.  I was humbled.  I DO NOT want to be that Mom.  I do not want to snap at my kids because I am overwhelmed.  It is not their fault that I am having trouble keeping it all going.  It is mine.

Last night Harry asked me if I would come up to school and have lunch with him today.  I am not sure if it is me he wants or the Chic fila I will be bringing him.  But you know what?  It doesn't matter.  My son wants to eat lunch with his Mom at school today and I am making the time to do that with him. THAT is the Mom I want to be.

Here is a little prayer a friend shared with our Mom's group this week. She ironically shared it Monday morning....

Instead of feeling overwrought with demands to the point of being
overwhelmed, feel the overflowing joy that comes from daily life in the
midst of a hustling, bustling family. The two halves make one marvelous
whole of God's balance.

You can find this prayer and more in A Mother's Daily Prayer Book.

And Kate did a splendid job on her 100 day project.  I had to leave to drive Will and she made 10 fans of 10 craft sticks all on her own.  So proud of her diligence.

She is trying to write her name in "cursive."  Now, I am off to Chic fila and lunch with my Harry:)

Five years ago today

Dearest Kate Emerson Ru,

It was exactly 5 years ago today that we saw your sweet face for the very first time (in her referral photo; not in person).  Five years ago today my heart began to grow in ways I never could have imagined.  On that special day, God revealed to us who had been chosen for our family. What a blessing that day and every single day since has been.

You have brought such laughter and joy to our household.  You make us laugh so hard at the dinner table (and you always have).  You have softened the boys and you have taught us all things about ourselves that we needed to learn.  We all love you fiercely.

As I have blogged about before, when I saw your referral photo standing in the streets of China, I had so many questions. I wanted to know everything about you. I could not wait to get to know that little (BIG) personality inside of you.  Today, we are such buddies.  I know you better than anyone in the world.  I am your biggest cheerleader.  You are my snuggle bunny.  You are my sunshine.

For our mini shoot today...Kate started out kinda serious.  But in true Kate style, she got fun and silly.  She thought it would be fun to turn the photo sideways:)

{For those of you new to 3 peanuts, you can read about the first time we ever saw Kate's referral photos here (it is a good story) and here.  Every year on February 1st, I take a photo of Kate holding her referral photo.  You can see all of the years here . }

My sweet dumpling just said, "Mama, I was wondering if you'd like to watch Miss Spider's sunny patch kids with me?"  And guess what---- I cannot think of one thing I'd rather do right now.  So, I am off to cuddle and watch with her:)  I am so blessed.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11.

Celebrate!

There will be lots of photos here.  I like to look back and remember the various people and ways we have celebrated Chinese New Year.  Saturday night our good friends came over to celebrate Chinese New Year with us.  As I mentioned before, Kate was beyond excited.  She asked us every single day this week how many more days until Libbie comes over for CNY.  She LOVES Libbie.  She wants Libbie to be her sister!!!  It is so cute.

Kate, Harry and I spent a few afternoons this week decorating the house ...

 (yes, we have some overlap with some Valentine's decorations too)



The sun light was shining right on those tulips.  If you look closely you an literally see the ray of sunshine!



 The minute Libbie walked in the door, Kate handed her a red envelope.  She could not wait.







Last year, Dave made some Chinese food but this year we ordered it.

 And we ordered WAY too much!!!  But it was so good and we had leftovers for dinner last night too:)





Libbie and Hoot tried chopsticks:)

After dinner, Kate, Libbie and Hoot did some art with some Chinese New Year stickers.

Then it was time for the Lion Dance.  The Lion or Dragon dance is a Chinese New year tradition.  But it scares the bejeezus out of Kate!!!  Last year, she literally hid her face in Harry's lap and covered her ears the whole time. So, Kate had a very clever alternative.  The other day, I was upstairs doing laundry and Kate made her very own dragon COMPLETELY by herself.  I thought it was absolutely delightful.  She told me that she wanted  us to do our own dragon dance at home.  And we did....

(Kate and her Dragon)

Harry did the drumming (and we had some traditiotnal lion dance music on my computer)

Look at that sweet smile of Libbie's!!





I have to insert here how much I LOVE my little girl's ingenuity.  I love that she came up with a solution for a way to celebrate a part of her heritage even though she is terribly afraid of the loud public lion dances.  It honestly never even dawned on me!

Dave and Steven (the Daddies) were such good sports and I think they might be a tad embarrassed of their participation.

Here is a video of our lion/dragon dance...



After the dance, it was time for fireworks!  So at Christmas, Steven and Shelley gifted our boys a pack of firecrackers/works.  Let me tell you....my boys LOVED them.  They thought it was the greatest gift EVVER! Steven has some connections (all legal) and so he brought us some poppers.  And since fireworks are actually a CNY tradition, we did a few poppers and sparklers.



Yup, Harry has matches in his hands.  He was supervised.

We had such a nice night with our friends celebrating the culture of our daughters.

Sneak Peek

I have been a terrible blogger lately. I have not really been on the computer much and I have not really taken any photos this month either. I apologize. I am working on tying up a lot of things in real life and I am exhausted.  Today, I literally ache from head to toe but I am not sure what from.

Anyway, we had a GREAT Chinese New Year celebration last night with friends and I am working on a post of it but it might take me a day or two to get it up because I took a ton of photos and I like to really document our CNY celebrations. Here is a shot of Kate I took right before our friends came over...

We had been meaning to do a photo shoot all week in her silks and the weather was bad.  Then yesterday the weather was beautiful but we had a lot to do and we forgot until about 10 minutes before our friends were arriving for dinner.  We quickly drove to a close park and I snapped a few images.  I love this one because Kate is being very "Kate."  I cannot describe it but this photo is really her (adorable dimple, dry winter skin and all). She is such a happy go lucky little monkey.  More soon.

Harry update and Kate and CNY

So, I have been trying to put into words what happened at our appointment.  And in a way, nothing really happened.  I had done SO MUCH research on this disease.  I even took a webinar on it last summer from a leading expert at the NIH.  So, I knew all of the possibilities of Harry's case.  Although I will admit that I was secretly hoping there was something I was missing.  It is very complex.

The geneticist came in and asked us if we would be willing to let a hospital photographer photograph Harry (and us) for a brochure during the appointment.  It will be used to try to raise money for the clinic.  We agreed so Harry might be on the brochure for them which is kind of nice.  It is good to help out.

But back to the appointment...she began by saying that she reviewed Harry's lengthy chart (he was had major GI issues wince the day he was born) and that based on everything she has read and seen she felt certain that he did not have NF1.  I felt one second of joy.

She took a lengthy family history and talked to us for about an hour and then she examined Harry.  And of course, she saw the marks.  He has 5 or 6 (one is questionable) cafe au lait spots that meet the diagnostic criteria (size and shape) and axillary freckling (a distinct type of armpit freckling). The diagnostic criteria is 6 or more cafe au lait spots and axillary freckling (OR other symptoms that Harry does not have).  She said he was a very "interesting" case because thus far he only has skin involvement in this disease.  She vacillated back and forth between saying he probably does not have NF1 to saying he is "borderline."  I knew all of that.

This is probably more than anyone is interested in but because I have had a few readers whose children are also going through this and some far away friends that want an update,  so I am giving details.  Also, at least two Moms e-mailed me that their children have similar skin involvement and our post has prompted them to get it checked out. Plus, I will have it for later reference.  The geneticist did think it was worth doing the genetic testing either now or in a few years.  We chose now. 

If Harry has this disease, so far, the specialist thinks he has a more rare (and hopefully mild) case of it called segmented or mosaic NF1 which means that not all of his cells are involved.  The good news is he would probably have a mild case and live a relatively normal life. Although this disease is so unpredictable one never knows. The bad news is that the genetic testing does not pick it up very well because not all the cells have the mutation. So, we could be left not knowing.  And we need to know because he pass on the full blown disease to future children.  The mosaic form only occurs in spontaneous mutations.  If is is genetically passed on, the disease is full force.

So, we wait 6 weeks and in our case a negative test result will not mean he doesn't have it.  It will just mean they could not find the mutation in that sample.  There is one other very rare disease that causes this hyper-pigmentation as well.  If the NF1 test comes back negative, they will run that test as well.  So, we wait and see. I have complete peace about it now.  In all honesty, I know in my gut he has it.  I believe it is a mild segmented case.  And I believe he is going to be absolutely fine.  But I also think the genetic test will be negative.  I have "met" many adults on the NF1 site that have had a false negative genetic test and now have some NF1 tumors.  So, I know it happens.  Medicine is not an exact science.

Now onto other things.  This week is Chinese New Year and Kate is beyond excited.  Seriously, it is all she talks about.  She has worn her various silks to school every day.  They have a uniform at school but her teacher is letting her wear them this week for her cultural heritage and Kate is so proud.  We have decorated the house and we are having Hoot and Libbie's family over to celebrate this weekend.  Kate is counting down the days.  She loves her friend, Libbie.

I went into Kate's class to teach about Chinese New Year on Monday.  We read books, made lanterns, brought dumplings and red envelopes with goodies.  It was a lot of fun. Kate was confident and excited to share her culture with the class.

Here is a sneak peek of some of our decorations.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that Kate was more excited for Chinese New year than she was for Christmas morning.  She loves it.

I have not gotten very good photos of Kate in her Chinese silks as we have had rainy and overcast weather all week.  In fact, there are tornado and flash flooding warnings right now for today.  I am NOT leaving my house today as I do not want to get stuck like I did last week.  And I do not need more damage to my newly repaired car:)

Finally, please keep our friend Emme Jade in your prayers as she has surgery tomorrow to release a tethered spinal cord.  I know Di and her whole family would love to be completely covered in prayer.

FYI

I am working on a post but had to tell you that Kayce Hughes is on The Mini Social Today!   I am so excited.  I love her clothes but they are pretty pricey. Today, you can get her beautiful classic clothes for great prices. I got that white shirt for Kate (and she can wear it for her uniform) for $12 (it is usually $46)!!!!  It is selling out quickly so head over to the Mini Social.

what a week...

I know people have been checking in for an update on Harry's genetics appointment and I really appreciate the emails and prayers.  I just have not had the time or energy to write it all out.   And we did not get much new information to share anyway. It has been quite a week...Last week I got stuck (as many people in our city did) in severe flash flooding.  There were cars quickly drowned in water.  Literally, I saw a car floating down the street. I pulled over for a few minutes in the heavy rain and then all the roads were completely flooded in minutes  I was stuck at Old Navy and Target for hours!   At one point, I was in Target in the pitch black when all the power went out.  It was kinda scary.  I could not get home for 5 hours and I had to go through some high water. As a result of that and some other things,  I had some big car repairs this week.  Then we had Harry's appt. (which I just have not had the time/energy to compose my thoughts on yet but will very soon).  I am also doing a cleanse for my health which has been good but somewhat challenging too. And finally, Will got hurt at a trampoline party place and ended up with 11 stitches in his gorgeous face!   He is okay.  His jaw is kind of swollen and sore but he is fine.  He is not allowed to do swim team for a little while though.  I guess we have to keep the stitches dry.  I know it is vain but I am very concerned about the scarring.  Any suggestions to minimize that?

  Here are some quick snapshots.

He is getting a hair cut today:)

So, needless to say-- I am a little behind in getting things done around the house.  I am going to work through my to do list today and I will try to post  an update on Harry within a day or two.  I also need to prepare for tomorrow. I am going into Kate's class to do a Chinese New Year lesson/activity.  So fun!  Happy Sunday!