Kate's end of school year {and thoughts on repeating kindergarten}

I know I am late in posting this but I wanted to post a little bit about Kate's last day of kindergarten and reflect on having her do an encore presentation of kindergarten as I know so many parents out there struggle with this decision.

Let me start with the celebrations first.  They had a fun splash day the last week of school which Kate really enjoyed.  It was HOT though.  Almost too hot for a splash day even:)

I went to the splash day for a little while but had to leave to go to work.  Plus, I was melting:)

Also the last week of school was an awards ceremony.  Kate had perfect attendance for the second year in a row!  And while I know that is not an academic achievement, none of the other peanuts has ever had perfect attendance. And honestly I never would have thought Kate would either.  She was the SICKEST little pre-schooler.  She had strep, ear infections and even mono constantly until we had her tonsils and adenoids removed.  BEST DECISION ever!!!

Kate also was given the Art Achievement award for her class from the Art teacher.  I was really proud of her.  She loves art and she won two art contests at school this year (Spooky Spaghetti and Fundraiser Bash).

{Iphone shots}

Kate and her sweet and wonderful teacher:)


A few last day of school photos of Kate and Harry....







Okay now onto my thoughts about repeating kindergarten...

Two of my 3 peanuts are summer birthdays. And 2 of my 3 peanuts are what I would call "late bloomers."  They are very smart peanuts but the lightbulb for reading and some other things (sitting really still or paying attention or doing multi step tasks or writing 5-7 sentences in their daily journal) just took longer.  Last year a lot of things went right over Kate's cute little head both academically and even more socially.  She was on track to go to first grade academically according to her teacher and the school but as I observed her in the class, I could tell she was just not fully absorbing all that was being presented.

Also, she was bullied a bit last year and I worked really hard on trying to teach her to stand up for herself and to be strong and confident.  Kate was one of the youngest in her class and she was not a leader. Our school is quite challenging.  I did not want to see Kate struggle year after year and see her confidence crumble.

This year, Kate was a leader.  She was not bullied once.  By the end of the year, Kate was at the top of her class in everything (even reading and she has dyslexia).  She is strong and she is confident.  The other kids looked up to Kate.  And most importantly, we saw the lightbulb switch on.  Kate really absorbed all that she was taught.  She came home and taught us things. She had the attention span and the maturity required of the classroom.

I would say that without one shred of doubt, this was a fabulous decision.  Kate bloomed.  I am sure she would have bloomed either way but I think we gave her better soil for blooming by having her do another year of kindergarten.  There might have been a small touch of social stigma for about the first 2-3 days of school but then that was gone completely. All of her sweet friends from last year's class still include her in playdates and birthday parties so she actually doubled her social circle at school.

Last November, a classroom mom pulled me aside and asked me why I held Kate back.  She said, "Kate is so smart and she is such a leader.  All the girls want to be her friend and they look up to her.  She is a fabulous reader and good at art and sports.  I just don't understand why you held her back?"  

In all honesty I was a bit taken aback because the way I was asked was kind of accusatory.  But I just smiled kindly and said..."THOSE are exactly the reasons I held her back. She was not those things last year.  She was a follower and she was struggling to keep up academically and socially.  She needed an extra year to get there. So, if you perceive her that way, I know we made the right decison"

Kate's teacher summed it up too. She knew Kate last year and she witnessed how timid and naive she was.  She said, "this year Kate found her voice."  And she did.

Update Grande

It has been so long that I don't even know where to start.  I have come to not really like the word "busy."  We are all busy.  I guess I had no idea how my office business was going to shift around everything else in my life.  I have always worked a bit here and there speaking, coaching, and teaching classes.  But I completely underestimated how expanding my business would change everything. Time slips right through my fingers every single day.

My first priorities have always been God, marriage and children.  I've been able to manage that okay over the last 15 years. I sifted in volunteering, blogging, managing our home and various health issues, Bible studies, socializing etc as I could.  But sifting in a huge increase in public speaking, seeing clients and developing The Nurtured Home has really rocked my world. I feel so blessed that things are going well.  I feel so honored that clients choose me to help them with their families and marriages and relationships.  And although I sometimes wonder if I have taken on too much, I really LOVE everything I am doing. I am just trying to figure out our new normal.

So, I have done this by trying to be ultra intentional with my time.  As two of the peanuts schools asked me to be on the PTO boards next year, I politely declined.  But I did say yes to being a mentor mom at Will's school and working in the school store with Harry once a week.  I am trying to chose the things that will mean most to my family and that I can actually do.  It is hard.  I am learning to say no every day.  I have so much empathy for single moms (Dave has been traveling a lot) and other moms who work full time.  It seems impossible to do it all well.

Blogging fell by the wayside.  I LOVE blogging. I love having my family memories here.  I love connecting with other people here.  I love the creative outlet.  I won't stop blogging.  I just think that it might be  kind of sporadic until I figure out how to manage my time better.

So, to catch y'all up on Miss Kate...

She has lost her 2 front teeth!!!  I am going to take some photos of her "toothless" look tomorrow or this weekend and I will post them soon.  I have not really used my good camera much.  I lost Photoshop when my computer crashed last December and I am so frustrated that I cannot make simple edits on my photos (like brightening or contrast).  Also I got a new phone and I instagram a lot.

Also, Kate did join the competition team at our gym. I am so proud of her.  We are taking a break from violin so that she can manage the commitment.  She works really hard and she is so focused.  She was moved up from Level 1 to Level 2 within a few weeks.  She amazes me because she only started recreational gymnastics last fall and I almost did not let her do it because of ballet.  I did not want her over-scheduled.  Now at level 2 she practices 3 hours a day MWF and she never complains.   She loves every second of it. In fact this was our conversation the other day...

KATE: You did gymnastics when you were little, right?
ME: Well, yes Kate but it was so different back then and I was not really on a team.

KATE: Mama, I think you should get a job as a coach at my gym.
ME: Well Kate, I already have a job and I love what I do.  Why do you think I should be a coach?

KATE: Well, you get a really nice black t-shirt with the name of the gym on it.  And if you were a coach, I could go everyday!  But there is already a coach Kim, so you would have to change your name!

Here I thought she wanted more time with me but really she wants more time at the gym!!!

Switching gears here....

I also want to do a little update about Kate's academic progress.  Last year, I really agonized about whether Kate should do an encore presentation of kindergarten.  I just want share with you (in case anyone is contemplating it).  It was the BEST decision!!!!  Everything clicked this year both socially and academically.  And while she was not terribly behind in any one thing, her confidence is just so much better this year.  She is a leader.  And even though she was diagnosed with dyslexia in the Fall, she is reading at a GREAT level now (near the top of the class). We have worked really hard with her and it all just clicked this year.  I really cannot emphasize how happy I am that we gave her an extra year.  It is like things came into focus for her this year.

Also, last week (or 2?) was our annual trip to the rodeo...  We had a very nice time.  I think this might be the last time our whole family goes together.  Will is almost 16 and next year...he will be almost 17 and I think he will opt for going with his friends.  The only reason he went with us this year is that he was working when his friends went.

The boys wanted to wander around a little bit together so we split up.  I had the camera so there are lots more pics of Kate:)

In the petting zoo....

Lots of the animals chew on your clothes.
They did eat some holes in her tank top that was under this pink shirt:(

Kate was brushing this little guy while holding her nose from the stench:)

Kate really wanted a caramel apple.  Last year, she did not get to have one because she did not eat her dinner the night before.  She came up with a very creative solution last year and brought a regular apple and a stick to the rodeo.  This year though...she got that caramel apple right away.  And she was a big goof with it!

We met back up with the boys and Harry rode the big slide with Kate.
 I  just love that they held hands:)

Harry and Will are phenomenal big brothers!









The first time we took Will to the Livestock Show and Rodeo, he was a toddler and he LOVED the tractors. He basically spent the whole time sitting and pretending to drive them.



And now, in a few months, he will have his license.  This time, Will sat in all the real cars and trucks.
 I tell ya.
It really does go by in the blink of an eye!!!



Speaking of cars, the bumper cars are always a favorite with the peanuts.
Harry was kind enough to go on the little kid ones with Kate...






I just noticed that Kate matched her car perfectly!!
I wonder if she did that on purpose?

After that it was onto the big bumper cars.
 For years and years, Harry had to ride with Will because he could not reach the pedals and that always bothered him.
I was very glad that he could go solo this year:)









I love their facial expressions.  Will is serious.  Harry is having a blast!





Here they are about to slam into each other!









We also went to the carnival at Will's school where Harry won 2 goldfish (much to my dismay).
He gave them to Kate.  One died within a week (Goldie).
But the other one (Silvery) is still going strong.
 Like I needed one more thing to take care of!!




One more little update on Will.
He is playing water polo for his high school and it is going really well.
He loves it and he scored his first goal last week!  It is a tough sport y'all!



I really do promise to get back to a regular blog routine.  Thanks for being patient with me as I figure it all out.  And thank you to those who reached out to check and see if we were all okay:)

LAX and hearts

Harry became interested in lacrosse about a year ago but it was not the right timing to sign up for a local league.  We had missed the deadline.  So, we bought him the equipment he so desperately wanted (a reasonably priced beginner set) and he practiced on his own.  Our deal was if we buy his the equipment, he has to play at least one season somewhere. He started bringing his stick to school and soon all his friends bought sticks too. Then over the summer, he attended a lacrosse camp and clinic and he kept practicing.

We knew his middle school had a team and we went to a meeting and a practice.  But then Harry decided to change schools last fall.  His new school had no plans for a lacrosse team and that was a BIG disappointment.  In fact, Harry almost did not transfer for that one reason.  As luck would have it, just after he transferred, one of the Dad's volunteered to coach a 6th grade team and a 7/8th grade team.  

Harry was thrilled.  He has been practicing for a few months now and he really loves it.  He has even taught Kate how to play a little with a mini practice stick!  Last Saturday was Harry's first game.  They did not win.  It was not even close.  But they did score and Harry assisted in the goal.  They looked really good for a brand new team of kids who had never played lacrosse before.  Unfortunately, they played a team with a lot of experience.

The coach asked the kids to write a few paragraphs about why they would be a good team captain (if they were interested) and Harry did.  He is the 6th grade team captain!  I do not have a good telephoto spots lens so these photos are awful but they are what I have.

Taken with Instagram--Harry is #33 in this shot all the way to the left.

Kate found a cute little boy on the sidelines and played catch with him...

I think she made his day!

Also, this past weekend, Kate told me she wanted to make a "reef" of 100 hearts for her teacher for the 100th day of school.  Once we figured out exactly what she wanted to do, we helped get the supplies out.  Sweet Kate traced, drew and cut 100 hearts all in one Saturday!  Then we wrapped a reef wreath form in pink ribbon.

Finally, Kate hot glued 100 little hearts on it.  We did help with the layout and the hot glueing a little bit.  She was SO SO SO excited to give it to her teacher on Monday.

We put a big pink ribbon it for hanging too.

Harry and I are off to another city to seek some medical treatment. I am really hoping this helps. It has been a VERY tough week filled with stress, loss and tragedy for a few people that I love.  I am sending out lots of love and prayers this week and holding my loved ones a little tighter.
Have a good weekend!

Humble Parenting Lesson {one of many}

Life is so humbling sometimes. And such a good teacher too. As many of you know, Kate is getting an encore presentation of kindergarten this year.  As such, she is doing all the same projects she did in kindergarten last year.  At the beginning of the year, last year Kate had to make a "me" doll and an "all about me" poster.  Her teacher strongly encouraged these to be family projects with lots of help from Mom and Dad.  I took that as a sign to get involved.  Usually, I do not get involved at all with the boys' school work. I am big believer in letting them do it themselves.

Anyway, I probably did WAY too much of Kate's beginning of the year projects last year.  You can look at them here  (and you can tell I did a lot of the work). Sure, she did some cutting and painting but I assembled them to make sure they looked pretty.  BIG MISTAKE!

This weekend Kate was supposed to make her "me" doll for this year's classroom.  She started drawing on it the other day when I was cooking dinner and I told her to wait until I could help her.  She looked at me with complete innocence and said, "Mama, this year can I make my me doll?" GULP. Shame. Guilt. Embarrassment. Lesson learned.

I am constantly advising my clients and friends to let their kids make their own mistakes.  I am constantly coaching my clients to do less and less for their kids so their kids are more self reliant.  I am appalled when I read articles stating that over 43% of parents admit to having done their kids homework.  I have always excluded myself from that statistic as I never have done the boys' homework.  Yet, I did it too.  I sold my child short.

When we do these things for our kids we are sending them a very strong message that we don't think they are capable.  We don't think they can do the work themselves.  We are also telling them they are not good enough.  These are all very damaging messages to send to our kids.

Parents think they are helping but really they are hurting their kids by doing so much for them.

Truth is...last year I probably did not have the confidence that Kate would finish these projects. She was exhausted from all day kindergarten.  She struggles with multi-step projects. But I should have at least let her try. I should have given her the benefit of the doubt. I should have shown her that I believed in her.  I am not saying that I did any long term --gonna be telling a therapist some day that I did her "me" doll--kinda damage.

Anyway, Kate did her me doll 99% by herself this year.  I had to hot glue the hair because my gun is old and gets super hot (and I burned myself).  She was so creative though.  She made a bow out of a tissue. Apparently, she saw Minnie Mouse do this on TV and gave it a try.  She made a necklace with paper beads.  I have no clue how she did it but Harry taught her a while ago. She even wanted to put her monogram on the dress. That had been my idea last year but this year it was hers:)

It was so wonderful to see Kate proudly hand the "me" doll that she did on her own to her teacher this morning.  We both learned a lot from this assignment.  Maybe I needed the encore presentation of kindergarten just as much as she did.  

P.S.  Kate lost her second tooth last night (you can see in the photo above) and that darned tooth fairy forgot to show up last night.  Anyone else ever have that happen?  Sure hope she remembers tonight.

And another P.S.  If you missed the blog radio show last night you can listen to the archive here.  We talked about this very issue last night:

Listen to internet radio with The Pearl on Blog Talk Radio