Follow-up

Thank you for the input and perspectives on my last post.  I appreciated every single one.  They all made me think. I especially thank Gale, the veteran kindergarten teacher for her insight.

 Just to update....

~The reason I have not spoken to the girl's Mom is three-fold.  First, I do not know the Mom at all.  And I am not sure how I could possibly communicate the manipulation that I have observed to someone I do not know.  It would be a very uncomfortable conversation for any Mom to hear.  And I suspect she kind of knows her daughter's behavior.  Several other Mom's have mentioned it to me and it is only the 3rd or 4th week of school.

Secondly, there are "queen bees" everywhere in life.  I feel like my time and energy is best spent teaching/modeling for my children (and Kate especially at this point) how to be a good, loving and compassionate friend.  We cannot really change others but we can change how we react or deal with others.  I am also having play-dates with some boys and girls in the class that treat Kate respectfully (as a few people suggested in comments and e-mails).  It is SO hard to squeeze in play-dates with our schedule of homework, sports, music, dance and family time but I am trying.

Finally, if I approach the girl's Mom and she gets really angry and defensive... I still have to interact with her for the next 6 years.  I do not want drama.  I am trying to teach my kids to avoid drama. She is not going to change her daughter.  So at this point, I am not going to talk to her.  If things escalate and I feel like it could be productive, I might change my mind.  

~  I have not spoken with the teacher yet.  I just have not had the appropriate moment to do so. But I will.  Also, I can see that the teacher is aware of the situation and working on it in her own way.  I am in the classroom working with the kids a few mornings a week and I see that the teacher sees what is going on.  She is an incredible teacher.

~Finally, I am not as worried about Kate as I was.  She is OBLIVIOUS to what this girl is doing.   And she has done more. It goes right over her sweet little head for now.  

Most importantly, I got to see Kate's confident friendship skills in action this week....  A new boy from Korea joined the class this week and my sweet Kate took it upon herself to take him under her wing.  She was so excited to show him where to put his things and how to do his writing journal.  He sits next to her and she told me that she includes him at lunch and at recess.  She felt such compassion for him when he was sad the first few days and she tried to make him feel better.  I was so proud of her.  This is exactly the way I have tried to teach my peanuts to be. Kate has watched Harry welcome new friends from other countries at this school (it is incredibly international) over the years and I am thrilled that she knew just what to do.

I do not care if my kids are the "popular" kids.  I just want them to be the nice kids.  And they are.  Anyone who knows them would tell you that.

Oh and I asked Kate about sitting alone at the lunch table (someone asked if they had assigned seats).  Apparently, they walk in to the cafeteria in a line and sit at a table.  Once a table is full, they start a new table.  Kate had started a new table.  She was not being excluded.  I did not know that so I am glad I asked her.  I totally misinterpreted that situation.

And because I always need to include a photo...I wanted to show you that we have even been able to include Matilda Jane into our uniform rotation.  Did you know Matilda Jane made a few "uniform clothes" this summer?  These navy ruffles are the softest coziest navy knit.  We love them.

{Yes, I started decorating for Fall/Haloween.  I had to do it.}

Also, this week was the International Potluck Dinner at Kate and Harry's school.  Families bring dinner from their country to share.  It was lovely.  We brought "American" food but Kate wanted to wear her Chinese clothes.  She is very proud of her heritage.

Have a lovely Fall weekend.
 I made some yummy fall foods this week and will be back soon to share the recipes/photos/links:)