Gift Giving 101

Dave is generally a pretty good gift giver but recently he bought me a dud. So, we have had this conversation about men buying gifts for their wives. I know not many husbands read this blog (maybe none, who knows) but feel free to pass the link onto your husbands if you wish.

The Don'ts

~Don't buy your wife anything utilitarian UNLESS she has specifically asked for it...for a holiday. As in, "I sure would love a new Kitchen Aid mixer for Christmas, honey!" One of my friends husbands actually bought her JUMPER CABLES one year. Yes, you read that right...JUMPER CABLES! I am sure that was not a big hit. Recently, I accidentally dropped my external hard drive and lost everything on it. My beloved bought me a new one as one of my birthday presents. I did not really appreciate it because it was on my to do list. I was going to get one for myself. I just had not gotten to the store yet. To me it was like receiving an oil change. I was going to do it anyway. Women (in general) do not like utilitarian gifts. However, I think men love utilitarian gifts (like tools, flashlights etc). Correct me if I am wrong gentlemen.

~Don't buy us clothes. Unless you are gay (in which case you have fabulous taste but probably should not be married to us), men cannot really pick out clothes for us. A gift card to our favorite clothing store is MUCH more appreciated. One year, I told Dave that anything he bought me from a certain boutique would be great. We were very newly married (like 2 weeks). He bought me gray plaid-ish flannel clothes there. It was the only thing from the entire store I would never have worn. And it was expensive too. He tried. So, lesson learned. A gift card is GREAT!

~Don't try to change us. We do not want a membership to weight watchers or the gym (unless we specifically asked for it). Or as my friend suggested don't tell your wife you'll pay for her to have her spider veins in her legs fixed as a Christmas gift. Now, if your wife is asking for a boob job or some botox and you want to give that, I say go for it. Just make sure she wants the improvement more than you do;)

The Do's

~Do ask you wife's best friend for ideas. We usually tell our friends the things we would like.

~Do take notice of your wife's collections. If she collects limoges or majolica or James Avery charms for a bracelet, go with that! Most women collect something (ornaments, dishes, Staffordshire, pandora, etc).

~Do buy gift cards. I LOVE when Dave puts Barnes and Noble or Starbucks gift cards in my stocking. Now, I don't want a Target card in there (see don't #1) but gift cards for little treats are very appreciated.

~Do give us time to ourselves. I know most Moms would LOVE for you to take the kids away for a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday. And by few hours I mean 4 hours or more. We cannot really relax in 2 hours. We spend the first hour or more straightening up and throwing in a load of laundry so that we can relax.

~Speaking of relaxation... a gift certificate for a massage or pedicure/manicure is always appreciated. Other pampering gifts like scented soaps, lotions and bath salts (these are my favorite in lavender) are great gifts too.

~Do buy your wife a magazine subscription. There are magazines for everything now. Some of my recent favorites are Clean Eating and Living Without. But there are magazines for photography, photoshop, scrap-booking, crafts, interior design, floral arranging, antiques, exercise, fashion, parenting, renovations...you name it! Real Simple, People, Time and the New Yorker are great too.

~For stocking stuffers, be creative. Buy us a luxurious soap from a boutique or a special candle (Nest in Bamboo is nice). We do not like dental floss or batteries in our stocking. Go in your wife's purse and look at her favorite lip gloss. Buy her a new one and put it in her stocking. I guarantee she will be surprised. Dave did this one Christmas early in our marriage. I was so flattered that he thought to see what I liked. He went in my make-up drawer but he pulled out a lipstick that had been a free gift and I never wore. So, just make sure it is one she wears. This works with lotion, lip balms, powder, mascara...anything. Just be sure to write down the brand and color, so you get the right thing. I think your wife's favorite movie candy makes a good and inexpensive stocking stuffer (mine is Sno-caps in case anyone was wondering). Finally, Pier One has some adorable scarves/wraps that look like pashminas for under $10 right now. (I already bought one for me and Kate, honey.)

~Do take the time to look around and see what brings your wife joy. If she loves to cook, maybe a cooking class or a new cookbook would be a great gift. If she loves to read, maybe a kindle or Barnes and Noble gift card would be the best option. If scrap-booking is her thing, subscribe to one of the new scrap-booking magazines. If she is a gardener, buy her some garden supplies or a gift certificate for seeds/flowers. A silver photo frames with a favorite photo is a lovely gift too. If you really think about what your wife loves and really listen to her, you will find the perfect gift. And remember jewelry and gift cards are always welcome. Let me know if you have any questions gentlemen. Oh and what do y'all like in your stockings? Batteries and dental floss?

P.S. Just so you know~ I always buy myself some things that I love and give them to Dave to give me for Christmas. The kids get very upset if we do not have a few things to open. And well, I am kind of hard to buy for.

To review...

Jumper cables---NO!

Beautiful Kate Spade Bracelet-YES!

While the gift suggestions are very real....some of this is tongue in cheek. I do not mean to offend anyone. And I realize not ALL women appreciate these kinds of gifts. But in talking to my girlfriends this is what we like.

Next, I will post some photos of our abode decked out for Christmas. I know you have seen snippets here and there..but I will put it all in one post.