Update

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I wasn't going to post today because quite frankly, it was been a hard couple of days again.  I like to be positive but I am also honest. A few people e-mailed me asking for updates on the houses and school situation so here it my update:

~ Harry is REALLY struggling with his new school.  My sweet happy Harry is not sweet and happy these days. Please keep him in your prayers.  It is breaking my heart.

~I met with the principal (we had a great meeting) and the boys are allowed water now.  They are considering a snack since Will goes almost 6 HOURS between breakfast and lunch!

~ Kate and I had our second day of pre-school and she did better.  I was even able to leave for about 45 minutes at the end.  When I came back, she ran happily to me.  I said, "See Kate Mommy always comes back for you."  She said, "thank you Mommy" about 4 times.  I plan to stay as long as she needs me tomorrow too.

~We were about to make an offer on the "old house" on Monday. Dave had even signed the papers but I just could not do it.  Something in my gut was stopping me.  It is a gorgeous house. It doesn't make practical sense for our family because there is no breakfast room, no attic or basement to store Christmas decorations and all of our stuff, no place for our computers...etc. But it wasn't any of those reasons.  My gut just said no.  Dave and I have been married for almost 13 years and this will be our 5th house purchase.  I absolutely KNEW each of the other houses were the right ones at the right times.  I did not feel that this time.  Still waiting....

~I joined a book club.  Think I can read Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility by tonight?   Would anyone share some cliff notes?


~As we drive around "newcity" the boys point out the various houses they would like to buy.  Now, none of these are for sale (and likely not in our price range either) but I snap photos because I think their tastes are interesting.


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Will likes this one because it looks like a castle.
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 Both of the boys LOVE  this house!
Harry LOVES very geometric, modern houses.  He calls them "modern day houses."  We are looking for just the right one to photograph for him. 

Kim's choice

This one is right around the corner from their school (so I pass it everyday) and I think it is beautiful.  Although, I would never want to call it "home."

49 comments:

  1. You're right to go with your gut. You don't want to move into a new home and have regrets or second thoughts. Hang in there! Things usually have a way of working themselves out. You are doing a terrific job staying positive (but we're all allowed to tell it like it is when we need to!)

    Wow, 5 houses in 13 years! With our recent move, we would have made our 4th home purchase in 6 years, but we decided to rent this time since we know we're moving again in 2-3 years (and we found a wonderful house to rent that we love!)

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  2. Peace to you dear Mom. You're doing great!

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  3. Will be praying for you. So glad that you went with your gut. Sometimes we feel silly about decisions we make...but God is in the details! Trust Him to lead you-whatever that looks like. We are on house #4 in less than 12 years of married life!

    Hold fast! It will get better!
    Kam

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  4. Good for you on going with your gut feeling on the house! Hoping you find one soon. Love the boys' selections -- they have very good taste, don't they! So sorry to hear that Harry is having a hard time. Sending good thoughts, wishes and prayers your way. Take care.

    Janet

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  5. Hang in there Kim. Ya'll are in our prayers. You are a testament to positivity during struggle.

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  6. You've bought enough houses to know what you're doing. I have to agree that the old house, as much as you love its charm, won't meet your family's needs. Hang in there. Prayers for Harry adapting or finding a new situation for him. School change is the hardest part of moving--the house stuff is easy by comparison.

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  7. Kim,

    You are wise indeed to go with your gut instincts on the house. I am so sorry about Harry. Happy news about big girl Kate! I have no Cliff notes to share...but great for you joining the book club...how nice!!

    Continuing to keep you in our thoughts...and prayers.

    Kate

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  8. First - I hope things for Harry get better soon. When we first moved here we went through a rough time with J that was shortlived but nonetheless, distressing. The homes your children picked would be my sons choices - especially the Darth Vader home. I'll have to show it to him. Good luck but your right to go with your gut. It has to feel right - you'll never be sorry that you have too much space or at least enough space but not enough space could be a real problem.

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  9. I know what you mean about "knowing" which house is meant for your family. We looked at scores of homes before this one, and when we walked in, I told John... "This is the one!" I just knew it for sure. And it was. Our neighbors and friends are a once-in-a-lifetime find. We could not have chosen a better neighborhood for our children. I do believe that God really does guide our lives, and that he cares about where we live. So sad for Harry. Is it exaserbated by adolesence? I know that my 4 sons were all rather emotional from ages 11-14. They even cried more often. I am praying that your family will feel settled soon---in every way! I will offer, that after everything our sons have been through... the grief and loss, they are better people. Some of the things that I thought were hard for them before, their weaknesses, have just gone away... they are stronger and more capable than they would have been otherwise. So I no longer worry about their capacity to handle difficulty. For what that is worth... I thought it might give you comfort, knowing as I do, that new and challenging situations can cause us parents to worry.

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  10. I love the Darth Vader house - not to actually live in or purchase, but just the fact that it looks like Darth Vader!

    If it didn't feel right, then it wasn't right. The right house will come along.

    I hope things improve for Harry at school!

    Say hi to Kate from Lily and I. We miss both of you!

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  11. There is something to be said about "gut feelings". More than once, I have wished that I had went with my "gut feeling". I am sure that all will work out and you will find your house to call home! Anymore thought on the "new" house? It truly was breath taking and the right size.

    I hope that Harry adjusts to his new school. Change can be very hard. I will say a prayer for him.

    take care~

    Dawn

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  12. You are right...you "know" when you "know"...keep asking God for the patience to "wait" on him. Oh I am praying for little Harry. I hope, well, I know, your family will look back on this challenging time and not regret the lessons learned for one minute.

    Sending a big hug to you, and crossing my fingers you get that book read!!

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  13. I am so sorry that this is such a difficult transition. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  14. love this post of honesty! It makes you real and reminds us all that no matter the pretty pictures, no matter the precious times...there are also hard ones that God brings us through...during those times...He teaches us amazing things about each other and ourselves! I can't imagine the longing you feel to finally call a house "home"...what an amazing example you are though to be listening to God's answer to your prayer...wait.

    Loved your favorites post...gonna have to search for that shampoo...and those clips...you should try it! They are pretty cute bet you could tackle it!

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  15. So happy to read that the water in school issue has been resolved at least. I think adjusting just takes time. The boys will find their place- and you will too. Your beautiful family is in my heart and prayers!

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  16. Those are some amazing houses!! Well, in the end - you are right to listen to your heart & it sounds like you are doing just that!! I am so sorry that things are still rough. Moving is sooo hard, but as the cliche saying goes, 'it does get better!!" I think the book club will help! Hugs from CO :)

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  17. Hey Kim~

    Sorry I haven't commented in a couple days.

    I am sorry things are so rough. I pray God will smooth the way for you and that you will have clarity about how you should proceed with things.

    Have fun at the book club!

    Many blessings~
    Lisa

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  18. I think you were right on to not buy that house if it doesn't feel right. THat just means you will find the PERFECT house soon. You will be so glad you waited.

    I hate that Harry is having a hard time with school. That is so hard to see. It sounds like the principal is open to new ideas which is really good.

    That is so exciting about Kate. It won't be long and she will be running into class without even looking back. Too sweet.

    I hope things get easier soon.

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  19. Glad the boys can have water now..
    Hope they learn to love thier schools.. that would be hard..
    Kate sounds like she is starting to like school.. she is just making sure that mommy is coming to get her..
    you will find the right house.. and going with your gut is the right thing to do...
    Hugs..

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  20. Wow, Kim, awesome that you are digging in and joining a book club! You are an inspiration to me.

    I am sure this house thing will happen soon. I know you must feel so misplaced right now.

    thinking of you lots.

    Lea
    xo

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  21. Oh...I'm so sorry you are still having a hard time and that Harry is too....I pray that you all fine peace and comfort soon sweet girl! ;)
    hugs,
    Steffie

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  22. Hi Kim,

    I have no input regarding moving, because I have moved locally, but never done the type of relocation that you are in the midst of right now...but I can say, the still small voice of God speaks and you have obviously heard:)

    Bless Harry's heart. I'd love to say all the nice-isms that would be politically correct, but the truth is that stinks and as a mom, it hurts your heart.

    Good for Kate!!! And good for you, you know your children and act appropriately based on their vibes. You can pat yourself on the back and be grateful you have the gift of intuitiveness. Truly a blessing for your entire family:)

    You know I continue to pray for your family and I am sending hugs, the big warm ones that make you feel loved and cherished.

    Thinking of you,
    Heather

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  23. 6 hours without a snack!?!? even i can't do that!

    love the pics of the houses. hope you find YOUR home soon.

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  24. Kim
    We purchased a house shortly after relocating to Illinois. Needless to say, my GUT said to be still and hubby was ready to jump. We jumped and have regreted it nearly every day since. Please don't make the mistake that we did. Take a deep breath and be still.
    Keeping you in my prayers,
    Michelle

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  25. I am still praying for your kitchen.

    There is something about Harry's modern house reminds me of a Wedgit. :-)

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  26. I think you made a wise decision...gut instincts are usually right!

    Way to go Kate...what a big girl!!

    Those are some pretty amazing houses....you will find the one meant for your family....keep the faith...it is going to happen!

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  27. Been thinking of you all week. I have had a rough one myself, so I haven't had much down time to call you and see how things are.

    About the house, don't settle! If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. The Holy Spirit will guide you in the right direction.

    I will be praying for sweet Harry. Is there anything special that we could send him that would make him smile? My kids always love to get mail.

    Missing you...hugs and love~

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  28. So sad to hear about Harry. I hope he begins to adjust soon.

    Go with your gut, I believe deeply in the gut feeling and every.single.time I've ignored it, I've regretted it.

    p.s. sent you an email, but i think i sent it from my other addy.

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  29. as I said in you rhouse post, I felt you were holding back grom the old house too.Thats okay thatmeans there is a perfect house out there just waiting:)
    I am so sorry about the boys and school I can feelt he pain of knowing they are struggling through the day and feeling helpless.
    Yea for Kate!!!!
    Hope you find a kindered spirit at the book club:)
    Love
    C

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  30. I think you were smart to go with your gut...and that was my impression - they were not the right houses, right now, b/c you weren't SURE one house from the other...I don't know...a house is something you have to love.
    I am so sorry to hear about Harry. I wish there was something I could say to help alleviate your worries about him.

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  31. Still praying for you and your family! You are so strong- a woman's tuition is a strong thing- stick to your utmost thoughts. The different houses are so great! What beauty surrounds you. Thanks for letting us know how to pray for your family!!!
    Blessings,
    Shay

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  32. Will say a prayer for Harry, I am sorry to hear he is having a hard time.

    Book clubs are great, I love Sense and Sensibility, enjoy!

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  33. I wish you the best and I will write you in my prayer journal. We just moved out of our home in lovely NC to hot FL! Also because of my husbands job. I know what you are going through, and my daughter also acted out when she had to change schools. It was hard and I do wish you the best. Always go with your gut. Good for you!

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  34. I am so glad you went with your gut feeling! I still think you should build!

    Sorry to hear Harry is having a hard time. My heart is just breaking for him.

    Hang in there!

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  35. I am happy you listened to your inner self. I am so sorry that things are not going well for you. I think about you a lot. You are in a place that I have been and my heart breaks for you. Please know that I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers {{{{hug}}}}

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  36. I'm with Will for the castle house! Sorry about Harry's situation and that you don't have peace yet about your new house. Book Club? I don't know about yours, but ours should be called *dinner club* or *movie club* instead. Hope yours was as fun!

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  37. I will pray for your children. This is a big transition.
    I completely understand what you are saying about having a gut feeling about your home.
    When I walked in to my house, it overwhelmed me with a feeling of comfort and I knew instantly that it was our home.
    You are right to wait, you will know when you walk into your home.

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  38. I'll be praying for you and your family :)

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  39. Hi, I'm Lynn, we haven't met, but I follow your blog. We adopted our daughter in 2006. I just wanted to tell you that I know exactly what you are going through with moving to a new city. My husband's job has moved us 6 times over the last 12 years. It is still very hard on me and my oldest son.

    blessing to you,
    lynn

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  40. wow, no food for a child for 6 hours! they should definitely be able to have something besides water, yikes! i agree - a snack!

    great photos of local houses in your area, your sons have great taste!

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  41. So sorry. I hope Harry knows we are all praying for him (as well as your family during this transition). I hope you all stay safe with Ike on the way.

    Fun homes! Wow, it really does look like Darth Vader. Cool.

    Always trust your "gut feeling",I've learned that the VERY hard way...

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  42. It sounds like this transition has a number of challenges. Hang in...you're moving in the right direction and getting things resolved.

    I think you made the right call on the "old" house. It was gorgeous, but once the excitement of it wore off and you would have had to deal with issues of function, it would drive you crazy to not have it set up well for a family of five.

    Follow your gut with Harry, too. Don't be afraid to pull him if you think that's best. Of course, I have no idea exactly what the issue are but I sit here questioning the developmental appropriateness of their program. If they can't see that kids need access to water and food then how much of their program is really about what's best for children. I think the fact they you've even had to point out that they need water and cannot go six hours without food (and still be able to think and learn) is highly suspect. These are easy to fulfill, basic physical needs. How about the social, emotional and academic needs which take a lot more thought and care? If they are so tight about things like water and food do they have what it takes to be open and alive and inspire they kids to think and create. Trust your gut and trust Harry. They are strangers in a building running an istitution. He's the love of your life. You're a great advocate, but at some point, some folks aren't worth trying to sway. But, I'm biased (and entirely too outspoken...but have always felt that kids need our voice).

    I pulled Hillary out of kindergarten because she said it was boring and awful and she had more fun at home. I wasn't sure what to do at first, but it became very clear after talking to the principle, etc. that it wasn't worth the fight. They wouldn't let her take chapter books from the library. They didn't know what she'd read in first grade if she took chapter books out in kindergarten (I sarcastically suggested GONE WITH THE WIND..I mean, aren't there enough books to go around??) They also said that there was no way she could comprehend CHARLOTTE'S WEB or books like that because she was just 5 years old. They wouldn't let her use a dictionary to look up words EVER and she read enough to know that phonetic spelling wasn't always correct (and she started saying that she felt dumb). Anyway, I pulled her 1/2 way through kindergarten and she didn't go back until high school. She did okay without schooling (well, actually, she did amazingly well by all counts and I only say that, not to brag, but to point out that the tradition form of school isn't that crucial to success and if it isn't even a good one, it will do much more harm than good). It's the passion about learning that counts a lot more than the setting! It's about inspiration!

    Good luck!

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  43. Going with your gut on such a big decision is certainly the right thing to do! There will be another house out there for you even if it takes time.

    Oh, how I feel for Harry! I am definitely praying for him. Our daughter is going through a hard time with a child care transition & although it is not the same as what Harry is experiencing, I know how hard it is to see your child unhappy. He is a sweetheart and in time, I know it will get better for him!

    Hang in there! Blessings, Rebecca

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  44. I think it was a great idea to just follow your gut on your house decision. Only you know what your family needs in a home... and I am thinking the right one is probably just around the corner! I will be praying for Harry. I'm so happy that Kate is enjoying her first school experience. I can't wait to see some more school photos. I will be thinking of all of you.
    Love,
    Chesnye

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  45. That last one looks more like a building. The first two are VERY interesting! So sorry about the "old house" we are still praying you find your home very soon so you can began to get settled!

    We are praying for all of your kiddos!

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  46. OMG. Sense and Sensibility is one of my FAVORITES! Just watch the movie (the one with Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet). And watch it to the end. SO GOOD!

    Hang in there with everything else... sending good thoughts and wishes!

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  47. I stumbled onto your blog from another blog ... anyways, just wanted to let you know that we just recently moved and it has been a hard adjustment! It was nice to read some of your posts and know that there is someone out there going through the same thing! I pray that your house hunt soon comes to a happy ending! Best of luck as you continue to adjust...

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  48. I have been following your blog but have never commented! This house is right around the corner from the school I went to from K-12. If it is the same school I hope your boys are adjusting better! It makes me sad to think that the leadership there is making kids uncomfortable!
    I have lived in that area my whole life and can't imagine picking up and leaving to go as far away as you have moved. If you ever have any questions about the area I would be happy to help!
    Your family is precious!

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Thank you for your kindness.