The Journey

Many years ago (when I was a young Mom) I was in a Bible study with a woman who was very quick to tell me that I was "not as far along on my walk with the Lord" as she was. I remember when Will went through a brief but difficult biting phase. This woman told me that if I were farther along on my walk, I would hit him to extinguish the biting. (I do not believe in hitting children at all!)

Then, when I became very vulnerable and disclosed to the group about my very deep fear of flying, this woman told me that my phobia was because I wasn't far enough on my walk with the Lord. She told me that if I had more faith, I would not be afraid. I'll be honest and tell you that at that time I thought to myself, "If we are on the same path lady, I want to find a new route to the Lord!" Her comments made my blood boil. First, I thought she was completely out of line to judge me (and I still do think that). Secondly, I think that our "walks" are private and I am not racing anyone. We all go at our own pace. Third, I felt that I had strong faith. Finally, I thought that my phobia was completely psychological and not all all spiritual.

All these years later, this woman's comments have stayed with me. I am still very afraid of flying. In fact, I have not flown in 9 years! But in 3 weeks, our family will be flying to see very special friends. What is making me get on the plane? As much as I loathe to admit it, I think that woman in my Bible study was a little bit right. My faith is stronger. I have always known that it is all in God's hands but I am more comfortable with it being there now. I still have the phobia and I will be asking my doctor for medicine for the flight. But I am putting the phobia in God's hands.

I plan to write down Bible verses and other inspirational quotes on index cards to read when I get nervous.  I think the Xanax will prevent me from paging through my Bible in any organized manner so I thought the cards might be more helpful. Please leave me any of your favorite verses about fear, trust, faith, anxiety and letting go and I will copy them down for the flight. I really appreciate it. 

One other part of the story has to do with Harry and prayer.  When Diana invited us to come visit, I asked Harry to pray that I could get on the plane. One morning I was in the shower and I truly felt this sense that I could do it. I have not felt that sense of peace about flying in 10 years!!!  When Harry came home from school, he told me that he and his whole class were praying for me at the exact time I felt that sense of peace.

NOTE-- People always ask if my fear is why Dave went to get Kate in China.  The answer more complicated. I explained it in depth here .

Also, several people have asked when I might post about homeopathy and our diet (gluten, dairy and soy free). I promise I will do this post soon. I want to link to all of the supplements that we use and really have all the information at hand. I just need a big block of time to work on it. Right now, with all the kids home, that is tough.  Give me a few more weeks. When I do post it, I will label it too so if you only check once in a while you can find it on the sidebar.