When did this happen?

Okay y'all today might have been one of the most embarrassing moments I've had (but I have had some doozies---see below).

I am kinda old, y'all.  I will be 46 in November.  I am no spring chicken. Deep down I know that. But in my crazy little rose colored world, I think I am about 35 max!  My best anti-aging tip has always been to not look in the mirror too much.  I have always thought I look pretty young for my age and I never worried about aging. Until today...

Source

My sweet friend, Laura and I work out together.  But I am pretty lame.  I do the treadmill and some stretching.  Well, that was not cutting the mustard anymore so Laura asked me to try the Bar Method with her.  They were running a special so I bought a one month unlimited pass.

Today I walked into my first barre class.  The other women were cute and young and they had really cute workout clothes on.  They looked like lithe, dewey, glowing, young, lulu-lemoned women.  I was the old, frumpy, schlumpy middle aged mama with a pimple in the middle of her forehead!  Then, we started working out.

The teacher was very nice.  She gently called out some corrections to me "Kim, put your feet closer together.  "Kim, lower your right shoulder."  "Kim, tuck your tushy under."  I was starting to feel a little self-conscious.  There were 27 people in the class and most of the "corrections" were aimed at me.   I was the new girl. But I soldiered on.  I can do this.  I used to do Pilates and I used to do step aerobics and body pump. I am somewhat coordinated.

Then we moved to the barre.  I am not sure how I did it but when I hopped my right leg off the bar, I got a HORRENDOUS muscle cramp in my right quad.  At this exact moment, the teacher, said, "Kim this next part is the most challenging part of class." I think she said something about thigh dips but I cannot recall because of the searing pain!  I had tears streaming down my face.  I was really hurt.  I could not stand so there was no way any "thigh dipping" was going to happen.  I stood there frozen as the 27 dewy, little, lulu lemon chicks just stared and waited.  The teacher came over and I told her I pulled a muscle.

She kindly invited me to stretch or go out to the lobby.  The problem was...I COULD NOT MOVE Y'ALL!  I am not kidding.  I really could not walk.  I hobbled/dragged/crawled my way out into the lobby. Picture the hunchback of Notre Dame dragging her right leg behind.  I looked worse. I went into the bathroom and bawled my eyes out.  I was so embarrassed and in such pain.

When did I get so out of shape?  When did my posture get so bad?  When did I become the old, out of shape lady in the exercise class? I remember that lady and she was not me. I was really upset and in pain.  All those mirrors were making me realize that my anti aging strategies were not working at all.  I looked awful and old.  I looked so out of shape.  Why do they put all those mirrors in these classes anyways.  It is just plain cruel.

I cried for a minute longer, stretched my cramping, searing leg.  And then I made a decision.  I could hide in the bathroom crying or I could limp back out there and finish the class.  I limped back out there with my messy middle aged ponytailed head held high and finished the class.  The teacher was SO supportive and sweet and helped me out for the rest of the class.

I am not gonna lie.  I wanted to run and hide (but I couldn't).  I wanted to leave (again I couldn't because my friend Laura drove).  But I realized today that I am out of shape.  I might not look it but I am.  I need this class. I need to get in shape.  I want to be strong and toned with good posture.  I don't want to be schlumpy. So, as embarrassing as my first class was, I am signed up for two more classes this week. I am not giving up.  I am sure that tomorrow my muscles will hurt more than my pride.



So in the interest of sharing embarrassing moments...let me tell you about 2 others I have had.  Once a few years ago, Dave and I were at a small cocktail party.  I pointed to some guy and said to the hostess, "Who is that guy?"  She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Kim, that is my husband, Jim*!  Oops.  He looked different.

Then once in college I kissed a boy at a fraternity party.  I was/am a prude so it was all pretty innocent and low key but the next day I saw him and said hi and he ignored me.  I later found out he was a twin and it was his twin I said hi to.  To this day, I am not 100% sure which one I kissed at the party.    And the thing is..it was a very small campus.  Everyone else knew they were twins but me.

So, I have made a fool of myself before and I am sure I will again.    Feel free to share your embarrassing stories in the comments.  It will make me feel better:)


 (*name changed to protect the innocent).