I found this on line today and it really spoke to me. I know that I can put it into practice (I often say things that I should not say) and I know the boys could too. I am leaving Kate out here because honestly...she pretty much only says sweet things (as of now).
I also came across this fabulous parenting article. I am not a perfect parent by any means but this article does sum up how Dave and I try to parent. As a marriage and parenting coach, I firmly believe one of the biggest mistakes American (middle and upper class) parents are making is doing too much for their kids and giving them too much. I could go on and on about this but we make our kids work. Harry has a car washing and detailing business right now. Will volunteered ALL summer and will be working very soon. All my kids fold and put away their own laundry. As a rule, we do not give/buy them things unless it is their birthday or Christmas.
Also, we try to let them make their own mistakes. We all learn by FAILURE. When I think back over my own life, it was the mistakes I made that have taught me the most. Why are we so afraid to let our kids make mistakes? It builds resiliency and character. It makes them GROW! When we let our kids take risks, it shows them we have confidence in them. Luckily, I am still making mistakes everyday and I try to look at them as opportunities to learn and do better next time. I must have a lot of growing to do.
This is one of the reasons I love letting my kids go to sleep away camp. They are in a safe environment where they can take risks (trying new things) and make choices (what to use their store allowance on--junk food vs a t-shirt). If they want a schedule change, they have to wait in line to make it. Sure these are small things but they pave the way for bigger decisions on spending money and taking risks. And no parent is there to bail them out or make the decision for them.
This picture of the peanuts kind of represents how our life is....messy and imperfect (the seaweed) and the waters are a bit choppy but there is also a lot of beauty and a lot of love.
Kim...I saw you pinned the top photo and I loved it there. I am printing it out for my fridge. I have stopped myself countless times in the last few weeks from saying something unkind...with varying degrees of success...but as I try by example (very hard...but definitely fail from time to time!) to teach my girls...the high road is always the best road. What a lovely world we would live in if everyone took time to weigh their words and actions on the truth and kindness scale!
ReplyDeleteSo glad your boys are coming home tonight...Kate must be so excited!! Enjoy having them back!!
I definitely love the top photo in my home but even more for my classroom. What a great way to encourage my students to see the value in what they say. Thanks for the inspiration.
ReplyDeleteGood article. I know I should reflect to make sure we are fostering enough independence!
ReplyDeleteLove the top one the best. It is so true!
ReplyDeletexoxo
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My boys came home from their week long camp tonight also! I LOVE what you wrote about teaching responsibility and letting children learn from their own mistakes. I do feel that we buy them too much, but the boys and even Emma (sometimes) have daily chores from cleaning their rooms to cleaning bathrooms to taking out trash to washing the cars. We are really trying to instill in them a sense of ownership and responsibility. They must make their beds and pick clothes up off their floors before going to school each morning. I've wondered if I've been too strict about this, but tonight in talking with Jackson (9 years old), he told me how "messy" the other boys were in his cabin and how it drove him crazy. When we arrived for pick up today, you could not walk in Jackson's cabin because of all the clothes on the floor from other campers. Jackson was the only one packed up and ready to go with sheets stripped from his bunk bed and his trunk packed up tight. It was a proud moment for me. Thank you for affirming what we strive to achieve with our children as well.
ReplyDeleteMy boys came home from their week long camp tonight also! I LOVE what you wrote about teaching responsibility and letting children learn from their own mistakes. I do feel that we buy them too much, but the boys and even Emma (sometimes) have daily chores from cleaning their rooms to cleaning bathrooms to taking out trash to washing the cars. We are really trying to instill in them a sense of ownership and responsibility. They must make their beds and pick clothes up off their floors before going to school each morning. I've wondered if I've been too strict about this, but tonight in talking with Jackson (9 years old), he told me how "messy" the other boys were in his cabin and how it drove him crazy. When we arrived for pick up today, you could not walk in Jackson's cabin because of all the clothes on the floor from other campers. Jackson was the only one packed up and ready to go with sheets stripped from his bunk bed and his trunk packed up tight. It was a proud moment for me. Thank you for affirming what we strive to achieve with our children as well.
ReplyDeleteI just typed a really long comment, but i was not signed in. UGH! Basically I just wanted to say thank you for reaffirming what I truly believe to be an essential of parenting children - especially boys!!! We also picked our boys up today after their week at camp. They were both packed up and ready for us at 9:30 this morning. You could not even walk in Jackson's cabin due to all of the "stuff" from the other campers all over the floors. Jackson got up, packed his clothes, stripped his bed, and rolled up his sleeping bag while packing everything securely in his trunk before we even arrived. It was a proud moment! I believe in teaching responsibility and work ethic early on-especially in my boys! They have daily chores, and I am hoping that a strong work ethic early on will help to prepare them for what's to come!
ReplyDeleteAwesome article! I often feel guilty when I compare myself to much more "permissive" parents, but I try to remind myself that I wouldn't be doing my kids any favors if I raised them that way. This article definitely makes me feel better about the choices I make in parenting my 4.
ReplyDeleteLove the "think" acronym, I think we can all take that one to heart and do better. Truth and kindness are definitely two characteristics that seem to be lacking these days. Super cute pic of the Peanuts too, I may be recreating that one next week when we're at the beach.
Have a good weekend!
Good article. I've found that sometimes I really have to make an effort not to interfere or help. I know my children can compete with other students but when you throw in those parents who are overly involved it makes for an uneven playing field. So many of my friends talk about where "we" are applying for college so that line really hit home.
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ReplyDeleteI love the "Think" reminder! Like you said, parents and children alike would be well-served to consider it.
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