Epic Failure {maybe not}

Friday, March 2, 2012
Okay folks,  I lost steam this week.  I did a HORRIBLE job on one of my Lenten sacrifices (the 40 bags in 40 days).  I did not stick to my schedule and I did not get the computer nook OR the media room done.  I did get the easy closet done (but yielded NO bags from it) and I totally cleaned my bedside table. (got some trash, some recycling but mostly books that needed to be moved to another location!)

Okay friends, so this is me being COMPLETELY transparent.  I will write another time about what a complete neat freak I used to be/still am sometimes.  But my bedside table had gotten so out of control.  I read a ton.  I am in two book clubs.  I take some supplements right before bed or immediately when I wake up so my table was covered in books and vitamin bottles.  Books were all over the floor.  It was BAD!  I am so embarrassed of this photo but want you to know that I am so imperfect (and sometimes messy).

  So, here is the before...


And here are some afters although I am still in progress...


I have another larger table that I think I am going to paint a french gray (with Chalk paint) and get more substantial lamps in here.   Aside from silk drapes, we have done nothing to decorate our master bedroom since we moved into this house. It could use a big sprucing up. It is a beautiful blue/gray color though.

I  have read 98% of the Steve Jobs book and thought it was great.  
I would like to find a cute small basket for all my thyroid, adrenal. etc meds and supplements.

{Special little shells, crafts and rocks the kids have given me}

Since I did not get everything done on my list this week, I was feeling like I really failed but then I thought of what I DID do this week.  I DID avoid gluten pretty well.  I DID go to a new Bible study with a friend.  I DID work and get some new clients.  I DID exercise.  I DID finally get my Valentine decorations down. And I had lunch with friends twice and got a pedicure (all that was good for my soul too).  I prayed a lot for some friends who really needed it this week.

I also felt very dizzy  and exhausted all week.  I am not making excuses but something is definitely not right.  Every time I stood up (and I was on a ladder a few times) I felt like I was going to pass out.  So, I spent a little time chilling.  I am thinking I need my thyroid and adrenals checked again. It has been a while.

I know I will have my 40 bags at the end of Lent but this week was not my week.

I posted this quote this last year too when I was having trouble with keeping up with Lent.  Edie just says it so well....

" If I purpose to ‘give something up’ for Lent and then two weeks later find that I fail and can’t keep my lenten discipline, God is not disappointed in me. God is pleased with Christ and thus pleased with me when I have faith in Christ. I am a sinner who fails and sins constantly. And my failing is not a surprise to God. If I keep my lenten discipline to the ‘tee’, I must be careful not to try and convince myself that I’m ‘more spiritual’ or holy than before. I have been freely clothed with the righteousness of Christ and am only learning to ‘fit’ into clothes that were given me by God."

And one more thing I don't want to forget.   Usually, I watch the Oscars with friends.  For many years, I had a party.  But this year, we watched with another family and our kids.  I will admit that I was hesitant.  I  usually like to watch with just my girlfriends.  But we really enjoyed it.  The boys got into it and Kate LOVED the fashion.  In fact, she said, "Mama, is this a big fancy fashion show?"  Also, my girl has great taste.  Usually 5 year old girls just like big, frilly and sometimes gaudy dresses. But nope.  Not Kate.  She LOVED Gwyneth Paltrow.....


She literally gasped and oohed and ahhhed.  She said , "Mama!! She is gorgeous!!  She is so so beautiful.  That is the most beautiful pony tail I have ever seen! " Yup. Like Mama like daughter. I have always secretly wanted to look like Gwyneth Paltrow--you know in that "if you could look like any movie star kinda way."  We both loved her simple, classic and understated beauty.  We also really like Michelle Williams in her coral gown.  Stunning!


I realized that I am going to have SO MUCH fun watching these things with Kate over the years:)
I love having a daughter!  

Have a great weekend!


  1. Love this post.
    Love your transparency.
    LOVE your bedside table.
    And REALLY love your perspective on relying on Him for our holiness and our "goodness"... without Him we truly are lost sheep!
    You are simply wonderful, my friend :)
    Have a GREAT weekend!

    1. Thanks Stef. Your kind words mean a lot to me. I will admit that it was hard posting that photo. I can be kind of a perfectionist but God is doing lot of work on me.

  2. Please don't beat yourself up. You're awesome and you have a full life. Does anyone regret on their deathbed that they weren't neat enough or organized enough? Please enjoy and don't worry!

  3. How fun to have Kate to watch the Oscars with! She is so cute......thanks for showing us a "real' before.....its inspiring as we all have spaces, tables and some of us even rooms that are indeed need of some help. I LOVE your after!!

  4. You just do not realize how happy you have made me by posting your "before" bedside table photo!!!! I look at your photos all the time and think, "How does she keep everything so perfect??" I am loving to see your messy table...think we could be great friends now!!! By the way, I gave up fried foods for Lent, and I have messed up twice, by eating a a chicken strip and a slice of bacon...ouch!!! I felt as though I had failed Him twice. You have made me feel better!!

  5. I love what your friend Edie wrote, so true. I "failed" in my attempt to fast by the 4th day but she is right, that doesn't make me a failure, that reminds me of how much I need Him!!!!!

  6. Your before and after pics make me happy. I don't feel so bad about my night table which is piled up with magazines and books, but now I'm inspired to do something about it. I'm always inspired by your lenten sacrifices, whether you're able to keep them to a tee or not! Thank God, His grace is sufficient for us.

    Gin =)

  7. Miss Kim--- I am cracking up-- where is my girl who organizes her underwear drawer. You go girl on your messy bed side table. I love it!!! Definitely don't beat yourself up. You were living life and the mess happened. I am proud of you for showing it all. Now, go clean!! lol

  8. Miss Kim--- I am cracking up-- where is my girl who organizes her underwear drawer. You go girl on your messy bed side table. I love it!!! Definitely don't beat yourself up. You were living life and the mess happened. I am proud of you for showing it all. Now, go clean!! lol

    1. Tessa,

      I know ! Can you believe how laid back and messy I have become. Part is having 3 kids and part is exhaustion and part is my embracing my imperfection:) I am cleaning:) Love you and miss you!

    2. Oh and PS. I still do organize my underwear drawer;)

  9. I love the "before" picture of your bedside table! That is your very personal space and where you get to be away from your kids. I think it says a lot about you that the rest of your house perfect all the time, but you have this one area that seems to get less attention than other places. I have failed miserably with my lenten obligation this year. (Praying the rosary daily). I've had a sick girl all week, now I'm sick, too. You'd think with all this time sitting on the sofa with her, we'd pray, but we watch t.v. and movies instead....Ugh. God knows the content of our hearts and He knows what we intend. I'd probably rather try and fail than not try at all. By the way, my bedside area has always had tons of books, too. I started reading on a Kindle 2 years ago and I'm slowly but surely getting rid of all the stacks of books around the house. Personally, I love reading a book, finishing it and not having to put it in a pile! Have a great week!

  10. Also failed this week at my 40 bags project and feeling overwhelmed by stuff! Hang in there -- we'll get it done!

    Agree-- so fun having a daughter!

  11. I think life gets so hectic for all moms, don't feel bad. I love the before and after photos. I lost track and am trying to catch up on my bags this weekend. Despite the fact that I will probably only be at home a combine total of 6 hours all weekend long. There is just too much to do. Last night I decided to tackle my son's room. I do mean "tackle" in every sense of the word. He wasn't happy, but oh well!

  12. Thanks for the "before" picture of your bedside table. I had to laugh... we moved into a a new house last year and while the main floor is in good shape, the master needs some work. The only thing I like is the pretty blue/grey walls! Had to laugh that you're in the same situation!

    I didn't watch the Oscars but I agree with Kate, Gwyneth is simply stunning. Before coming to your blog, I was on pinterest and had just posted her quote onto one of my boards!


  13. this Lenten goal is so impressive and also inspiring. My hat is off to you for putting yourself out here. Sounds like your week worked out just the way it should.


  14. Oh, the picture of your bedside table makes me laugh; I can relate. My room is always the last to get attention since I figure no one else is going to see it, but I think I can relax and sleep better when it is neat and organized. Sounds like you've been really busy and I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling great. Don't beat yourself up...you are anything but a failure! Perfection is a burden. My mom always reminds me to tend to the people in my life before the house...she says it will still be waiting for me long after the kids are grown and gone. She used to recite this poem a lot when we were young. I'm sure you've probably heard it:

    Song For a Fith Child, by Ruth Hamilton. 1958

    Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
    empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
    hang out the washing and butter the bread,
    sew on a button and make up a bed.
    Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
    She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

    Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
    (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
    Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
    (pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
    The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
    and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
    but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
    Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
    (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

    The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
    for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
    So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
    I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

  15. One thing I love about reading your blog is that you do not try to pretend you have the perfect life. Your honesty is refreshing! And it makes me feel a bit better about slipping in my Lent.

    Today one of my friends posted this: ‎"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves" Psalm 127:2 One of the paradigm shifts every believer must learn once they make Jesus lord of their lives is how to move from receiving by sweating and toiling to receiving by trusting and obeying. Be faithful to the small things and God will always honor your obedience.

    I have already been a bust on my Lent this season. This post made me remember that keeping a true Lent isn't about toiling in my sacrifice, it is about ABIDING. I am changing my word for this year to abide. I toil too much in my own efforts and get nowhere.

    We keep you and your sweet family in our prayers!

  16. Thanks for making us all feel normal! I am pretty much a neat freak too, but right now my laundry counter cannot be seen and I don't think I will have the energy or interest to clear it off for at least a few more days. Have you used AS chalk paint before? I ordered some and it just came in last week. I am painting a dining table for our beach house. I am a little nervous about it. There are so many blog post about the paint right now. They all make it look some simple.

  17. THANK YOU!!! I LOVE that you shared this picture..I honestly thought at first that it was one you found on pinterest..hee hee!

    My girlfriend has painted a couple pieces with Annie Sloan Chalk Paint, and LOVES it...she said it is SO SO easy and it looks fantastic!

    I have been purging and organizing, but I haven't treated it as a 40 in 40, but I am doing something :)

  18. How fun watching with your kids - especially, Kate! And I have to say you have inspired me with your 40 bags...although I won't be able to get 40 bags worth I have been cleaning out every nook and cranny of our house this week! It feel sooooooo amazing!


Thank you for your kindness.