Really?

Saturday, February 19, 2011
Really?











Anonymous Anonymous said...







If your four year old crumbles on the playground simply because some older boys raised their voices at her, she is too naive, and you are hiding her from the real world.

Welcome to reality there mommy... Kids are going to learn things no matter how hard you try to shield them. Feelings will get hurt. Tears will be shed. However, in the end, they will stand back up and continue moving forward.

If she's as "mature" as you claim she is, and she's as "smart and social" as you claim she is, you would only be doing her wrong to hold her back simply because you were worried about what MIGHT happen years down the road.

You grow up Mommy... Cut the apron strings and realize your baby isn't a baby anymore.
February 19, 2011 10:07 AM
I don't expect people to agree with me all the time but I also don't expect people to be so rude and judgmental.

The boys who yelled ( I was being polite when I said "raised their voices") at Kate were in 2nd and 3rd grade.  She just found out we needed to get rid of our dog.  It was scary and intimidating.  I do not baby my children.  I have had people politely suggest that I let Kate go to kindergarten so that she will learn sooner how to negotiate these situations and I appreciate that.  But I really don't appreciate people being plain rude and judgmental on my blog.  I am a compassionate person and I hope people would be compassionate here.  In fact, it specifically says "kind words" under my comments section.  As Moms, we are all doing the very best we know how to do. None of us are doing it perfectly.  BUT I don't think we need to tear each other down.  How about we try to build each other up? How about we encourage and teach one another? I feel sad for the person who wrote this.  There is a way to express the thoughts and feelings you had here in a kind and non-judgmental way.

98 comments:

  1. good grief Kim that is just nasty! You never know what your going to get from any so called blogging friends. I just went through something pretty nasty myself.

    Thank goodness for the many, many, many, good people and blogging friends out there. THEY FAR OUT WEIGH ANY NASTY MINDED PEOPLE LIKE THIS. Shame on this person.

    Hang in there Kim.

    Lea
    xo

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  2. I hate comments like that!

    I left a comment on your post about whether to hold Kate back a year or not, saying that I started school young and was fine. That's true, however, I have always been very sensitive and naieve and that did make my middle school years a bit difficult and I still remember how hard it could be at times. I felt like I didn't know as much as some of the other kids as far as slang terms, sexual stuff, etc. because I was the oldest child in my family and a bit sheltered. When my mom dropped me off at kindergarten, I cried every single day, so if older boys had yelled at me at that age, I would have been a mess too. I turned out fine, but you do remember stuff like that and if you're concerned about it and would prefer Kate to be one of the older kids in her grade, then maybe that's what you should do. No one has the right to judge you for whatever decision you decide to make for your children. You seem like an amazing mom, you know your kids best, and I know you will make what you feel is the best decision for your little girl.

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  3. Oh my goodness, I can not believe anyone would be so harsh and unkind. You have a beautiful family and a wonderful blog.

    This must be a very controlling, rigid person. Every child is so unique as is each situation so to make sweeping generic statements is wrong.

    I relate to your blog as I myself am an adopted child, now 52 yrs. old, but always felt loved and special, Kate is one lucky little girl to have been "chosen" by your family.

    You have a lovely blog.

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  4. Oh my goodness, I can't believe someone would leave such a rude comment. SAD for that person!!!! Don't let the rude comment get to you. Hope u have a blessed day!!!!

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  5. Kim,
    Sorry you had to hear from such an unhappy and negative person. You are a great mom and have a awesome family!!
    Emily

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  6. You don't need to explain yourself...it's YOUR blog. Shame on anonymous! Chin up girl!

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  7. Kim,
    I love how they (those that write nasty comments) always hid behind anonymous, don't you? All I have to say is "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never harm me". So there, sticking out my tongue...better tell me to grow up too!
    Kim, your a great mom! Don't let anyone tell you differently!
    Norah

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  8. Kim,
    Don't even acknowledge comments like that. That is what they are looking for. How terribly sad for that person that they lead a life that they need to tear others down.
    You are doing the best for YOUR children. Most of us do not even know Kate personally. YOU are her mother and raise her the way that you and Dave see fit.
    That commenter I am sure is doing what is best for their family as they see fit as well.

    As you said...let's build each other up, not tear one another down.

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  9. Kim, I did not comment on the original post concerning sending Kate to school because I have NO experience with this dilemma based on when the boys' birthdays fall. I do, however, have experience with hurtful comments made by fellow bloggers. I am sorry that you received a negative comment. Why is it that they are always from "Anonymous"? If you really feel strongly enough to "attack" someone on their personal blog, at least have the guts to sign your name to it.

    Hopefully you have moved on from this negativity and will continue to blog about your personal experiences. I know it took me a long while to do so after I had a really hateful comment - which happened to be about me personally.

    Love to you and your family. I know that you will make the best decision for Kate. I do know that my parents decided to send my sister at age 4, and she was the Valedictorian of her senior class (out of more than 400 students)!!! She has always been glad that she started early.

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  10. Sorry that someone wrote something in such a negative and harsh manner. I agree that there is always a polite and caring way to get a point across. There is NO need in being judgemental and rude. It's simply uncalled for. I think you are a great mother and you do what YOU think is best for Kate! My daughter would have done the same thing Kate did if she was on the playground with her older brothers classmates and they did that to her. That is normal. Again, you are her mother and you are a good one!! Don't let "one bad apple" in the bunch ruin your day! Or your blog. :)

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  11. How rude! I hate when people leave obnoxious comments under the guise of being "anonymous."

    I think Kate would be fine either way and I think you are an excellent mother. The fact that you're considering the implications down the road attests to how sensible and caring you are of your child.

    Ignore that ridiculous comment. That person is pathetic and needs to learn how to craft an informed opinion instead of an ignorant rant.

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  12. I'm with you and just feel sad for someone who leaves comments like that (not mention won't leave their name). You are the best Mom and will do whatever yur and Dave feel is best for Kate and all of your peanuts. I adore you and as usual you are handling this with class!

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  14. There are no words. For the love. I wish I had that kind of time!

    I held Jane back - her birthday is august 22 - could have gone to K5 this year. But she would have been one the youngest - in some cases by a year. She is smart and social and loves school but I was thinking of her being 17 and sending her off to college. Far too young in my opinion and experience as my birthday is late September and I was 17 when I packed up and headed off.

    But also there are a ton of new child developement studies that show the brain is still not fully developed and matured until 23 or 24. We expect them to make adult decisions at 17 and 18 that they are not ready to fully make. So Jane will be 6 for most of her 5K experience and I am at peace with that!

    No matter what anyone says or does...she is YOUR child and you are the only one that truly knows her and can make the decision. Don't let anyone bother you otherwise! As I have come to learn...life is TOO SHORT for the haters!

    Julie

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  15. So sorry. I have 3 children the exact same age as your children. My daughter has a summer birthday and will go to kindergarten this fall. I have gone back and forth on the same issue. It is a big decision and I am sure the right decision will come. Best wishes.

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  16. There's a reason that person chose to post anonymously. That was just hateful. Please know your insight and candor make your blog very special, and I know you'll make the best decision for your family. Hang in there!

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  17. Kim,
    I am so sorry you received such a rude comment. You ask for advice not judgement. As a school teacher and an elementary school principal I can see both sides of sending a child on and holding a child back to kindergarten. I have a 27 year old son and a 4 year old daughter who will start pre-k next year. My son has a Nov. birthday and started school late. I think that boys often need the extra year. Many parents send their child to school as early as possible for a free baby sitter. I adopted my daughter from Guatemala. I waited a long time for her. I do not want to rush the growing up process since I truly can see that children grown up fast enough anyways. I believe if you choose to keep Kate at home an extra year she will benefit from that extra year with you (and you will too) but if you choose to send her to school it is your decision. I would delete that rude comment and forget it. That person truly does not have your interest at heart or they would not have written such harsh, judgemental words. What ever decision you make for YOUR daughter will be made with information that only you as a mother can know.
    Have a Blessed day,

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  18. Kim,

    You know that a comment like that is only left by a person who is coming from a place of pain or envy. Happy, secure people don't say things like that anonymously to strangers.

    Kate is a lovely little girl and as the mom of two somewhat-sheltered, "young" little girls who still love fairies and make believe and princesses and dolls, I say keep her that way as long as you possibly can!

    And, for what it's worth, if someone yelled at me on a playground I think I might be a bit shaken too.

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  19. Well said Kim!! I am shocked that such nasty people really take the time to leave such mean & hurtful comments. You are an amazing woman and mother with a beautiful blog. Don't stop doing what your doing!!

    xoxo Robin

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  20. I have never commented before but follow your blog from Scotland. We are completely different as I am bringing up two children without a loving partner to support us and my younger son has a a life limiting condition so we are not a 'typical family'.
    I do not 'baby' my children as we are facing some very tough days ahead but equally so I do not burden them beyond their years nor try to make them grow up too quickly. Being upset by aggresive behaviour from older children does not make Kate naive nor does it mean she is being hidden from the real world. It makes her a normal adorable four year old. I would be far more concerned if she was blase about such aggresive behaviour.
    I was brought up to believe that if you cannot say something nice or positive, don't say anything at all. Perhaps your commenter would do well to follow the same ethos.
    You have an adorable family and your children has so very lucky to have you as their Mum.
    Fiona.

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  21. Really? You folks can't believe people would be harsh regarding a blog post?

    Seriously. Grow up. Last time I checked, the world wasn't decorated in candy covered sprinkles. Shesh.

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  22. Good grief, that is just a nasty comment.

    I'm an October birthday. Initially my parents sent me to kindergarten early because I was socially smart and mature. My closest friends were all going to kindergarten. They pulled me out and put me in pre-K. I was not ready emotionally. And to this day I am so thankful that they did. Yes, there have been times where I wished I was in the class with my childhood friends, but I bridged that gap and my life has turned out amazing.

    My parents gave me an extra year of childhood and I am so thankful that they did that ... for me.

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  23. Sorry for this Kim...I hope you can let this one roll of your back...I agree, NONE of us are doing this parenting thing perfectly, we are doing the best we know how, and there is a way to express a difference in opinion without being harsh...these types of comments always come under "anonymous" don't they??? ...it seems they are not quite willing to stand behind their opinion.

    YOU are the only one that knows Kate well enough to make this decision, and it will be the right one for her!
    xoxo

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  24. Amazing that someone else could know your daughter better than you? In addition - she is four for goodness sake. What four year old girl wouldn't cry if a bunch of older boys were yelling at her. What was she supposed to do kick them and tell them to lower their voices? Kate has PLENTY of time to learn how to deal with older boys, why does she need a lesson in this at 4? I have to say I completely (politely (and maybe sarcastically)) disagree. It is way too easy to pass judgment on someone from a single blog post. Maybe your commenter was also having a bad day. Thank you for your great blog. I also have a (now five) year old daughter from China, and I love your blog.
    Katie

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  25. Kim,

    Do not give "anonymous" any attention or a platform. You are an amazing mother and have a great family. You have so many positive comments from so many people. Some people just have to be negative. Let it go and have a great day with your sweet family. :)

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  26. Grrrr...... Kim, I'm sorry this happened to you. I get so sick of commenters who go to other people's blogs and leave cowardly comments such as this. And they're always anonymous. I didn't comment on your last post because you had so many comments to wade through and as I have found out through my own experience that everyone has an opinion on this topic. However, I do want you to know that as I was reading your description of Kate, I felt like I was reading a description of my own daughter. She'll be 5 in May and I'm wrestling with the same decision. I am a teacher and I am leaning toward NOT sending her to kindergarten this year. Ohio's academic standards are pretty high and I feel very strongly that, for the most part, older children do better in the classroom than the younger children. I have never in all my years in education come across a parent who regretted their decision of making their child wait a year, though the same cannot be said for those who sent their children when they were chronologically old enough. You hit the nail on the head when you were looking into the future toward middle school. I feel like one more year under my daughter's belt will serve her well when navigating that mine field so to speak. And I say that with all due respect to middle school educators, because I am one! But middle school is tough! Anyway, all that to say I'm sorry and let you know there is someone in the world who's on the same page you are.

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  27. Please remember that God placed your three children with you and your husband, knowing you would raise them with HIS help guiding your heart and decisions. I spent SO many years working with parents who did "cut the apron strings", that I can tell you first hand what a nightmare that produces for children and society as a whole. Parents do need to protect and shield their children. We are the guardians of our children's hearts and minds. There is too much ugly out there not to protect them fiercely. There will be plenty of time for them as adults to learn on their own, but I also don't know too many people who don't either turn to their parents for advice and wisdom, or wish they had their parents to turn to. Please know that there are lots of people who think you are amazing parents and those that comment in hurt are usually those that are hurting themselves.

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  28. Looks like Anonymous hit again at 1:56. Some people must not have much joy in their lives! Sad really. . .

    PS - I teach kindergarten and I've never once heard a parent say that they regret giving their child the gift of time (I have heard many regrets from those who didn't make this choice however). But, whatever decision you make is what is right for you.

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  29. Aww, Kim, I'm sorry that this happened. I have no idea whether you should hold her back or not, but I know that you will guide her through whichever decision you go with. And hey, I still cry when people raise their voices at me ;).

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  30. Goodness, people can be so nasty!!

    First of all, I think you are a wonderful parent (and have always thought so since we began our adoption journey at the same time). I've learned a lot from you and I only hope that our two boys grow up to be as wonderful as your two.

    Secondly, I have never understood how someone can take pleasure responding to someone's blog in such a nasty manner (and anonymously on top of it). I've always thought that if I went back to get my Masters Degree, I would write my thesis based on this topic. There would definitely be a lot of research material to pull from.

    Take care.

    Linda

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  31. Kim, I agree with you 100%. I'm hoping this person was just having a REALLY bad day, and hopefully their response was not their norm. Hugs to you- you don't need those type of comments.- Melissa

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  32. Kim,
    Goodness,had no idea an adult can be so hurtful, especially to someone you don't even know! So sorry!!Only Kate's Mom and Dad know what is best for her! end of story!
    Your response is lovely and heartfelt, so proud of you!

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  34. My grandmother taught kindergarten for 27 years,she said if a child is born past May they should always wait a year to start school because of the teenage years.

    It amazes me how the rude comments are always anonymous and for that reason I don't allow anonymous comments on my blog.

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  35. don't listen to the haters. i used to get nasty comments on my blog, too- one time when i was 8 months pregnant (after being pregnant for over 2 years b/c of two stillborn babies and a miscarried baby), someone commented on how much our family eats out and how sorry she felt for our daughter that she never got a home cooked meal. what?!!!!

    i was going to comment on the earlier posts just to say that you know what is right. i think you made somme really valid points and it actually got me thinking about whether we want to send our little girl to Kindergarten next year- she has a late August birthday- and she is, like Kate, a "very young" 4 even though she is quite academically advanced.

    It's hard being a mommy- we need to support each other, not tear eachother down! ((((hugs))))

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  36. I am shocked and disappointed that someone would be so rude in their attempt to "help you". It is a big decision on whether or not to let Kate start school early or have her wait one more year. I am all for having little ones stay home for as long as possible. I did find that children do gravitate towards other children who are similar to themselves when they go to school. Kate will find sweet friends and then she will find other children who are not nice at all. I know you will be able to help her find these sweet friends. Unfortunately, there will always be some children who are just mean. I am always surprised when parents do not recognize these traits in their children. A kinder, gentler world would be my first choice rather than having such "grown up" children.

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  37. I'm pretty much at a loss for words. Unfortunately we live in a broken world full of hurting people. I am sorry that someone felt the only way to convey their message was in a disrepectful and hurtful way. My hope is that one day they could be so lucky as to know a love such as that of family like yours. Blessings to you..

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  39. I would have to agree with the people here who say pay this commenter no attention. Whoever they are, knew that making that comment would upset you.

    I have followed your blog for awhile, but have not commented, because I feel it isn't my place considering that I only know what I read and I know there is a bigger picture behind these tid-bits. So for someone to assume that you need to grow up, etc., the real problem lies with how they feel about themselves.

    Keep your chin up and keep doing what feels right for You and Your family. No matter when you send Kate to kindergarten she will thrive so long as she has the love and support of her family. THATs what matters.

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  40. Please just ignore him or her Kim. I have no idea how he or she got the idea that you "shield" your kids. I love the way you raise your kids, and how you interact with each one of them; that's why I keep reading.

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  41. Ridiculous. Ignore rude people. It's hard, but don't waste your time on someone like that. Kids grow up, but we try to make it easy. I love your blog.

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  42. Kim, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Life can be tough enough without having to deal with small minded ,rude people. Have faith inGod and in yourself. Hugs :)

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  43. Kim -- Hang in there! You are a fabulous mom!

    Anonymous -- Click away!

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  44. Goodness gracious! I have a late August birthday and my parents waited a year. I was NOT slow, I was bright enough to be accepted into Stanford's Civil Engineering program for graduate school, and I was NOT bored in school and I DON'T think my parents did me a disservice. I loved being able to drive my whole sophomore year (so did they) and I had fabulous teachers who taught different material to different students. YOU know Kate best, she has been through alot lately, and only you know what is best for her. Whatever you decide, she will be fine since you will guiding her along. Also, if a person doesn't agree with (most) of a person's blog, why do they read and comment anyway. It is just impolite.

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  45. How incredibly rude and cowardly. You're a wonderful Mom. If "Anonymous", on the other hand, has children then I feel kind of sorry for them.

    I say let children stay sweet, innocent and even a bit "naive" for as long as possible.

    Gin =)

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  46. Anonymous, really! More like a coward. It is easy to be mean/hateful when you hide behind the anonymous shield. This person obviously does not have an adopted child from China (or any other country.) I have followed your blog for some time because I also have a daughter from China. You have made many comments where I'm nodding my head, saying to myself..I agree. Keep up the good work.

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  47. You're right - there's a kinder way to express feelings that are different than your own. Sorry this happened. Thanks for being honest and open on your blog even when it can invite harsh comments like this. Please don't let this person get you down. Blessings, Cathy

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  48. I have lost more Blog friends because of rude people! After awhile, think they just got tired of the rudness and they all went private. That is one of the reasons why LiLi's Blog is also private. I am really picky about who I let read it because I/she do not need to read such rude comments.


    I am sorry about what that person posted. They are not a normal follower or they would know you better. They would also post their Username. I would just ignore it and hit delete. If you are going to have you blog opened to everyone, just ignore the crazy people. I don't think the rude person is a mother (at least I hope not!!!). A real mother would never say such things or judge another mother like that.

    I really do think that some people just look for blogs to post rude comments on. The few blogs that I lost were all in a row. It was almost like the rude person/people were posting over and over to the same few blogs.

    Again, I feel bad. You know you are a great mother and we all know it. Just hit delete and move on with your life...ya might want to say a little prayer for that person. It seems like he/she had a lot of hate in their heart. That is sad.

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  49. Oh- now that the person knows that he/she had gotten such a strong reaction from you and everyone else, don't be surprised if they don't keep showing up. I would just keep hitting delete until it stops. Don't even humor him with discussing it. Your time is more valuable than that.

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  50. I crack up that when there is something nasty written (on this blog or others) that it's almost always, always, always anonymous.

    Being a teacher, I have ALWAYS suggested to parents to hold the children back if there is ANY doubt in the world. I would rather have the higher kid in the class (whether socially,emotionally, and/or academically) than one who might struggle. Surely, she might not struggle in either situation - but why risk it? What's the big advantage?
    Finally, she will ALWAYS be your baby. Period. Age doesn't matter - she is your baby.

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  51. You are obviously a sweet person and a great mom. Do not give that unhappy woman the chance of having a post on your beautiful blog. Trust me, delete it! That only encourage her need to be noticed. ...and do not allow anonymous comments (noticed how she came back again @ around 1:56 pm.)
    You have a great family. Post about the things you love
    Blessings from another Houston mom
    KL

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  52. Kim, I am so sorry you received such ugliness. I am upset by it and it isn't even directed at me.
    I feel sad for any children this "anonymous" person might have.
    IMHO, a four year old is still so young and these days they are pushed to grow up so fast. What is the hurry? They will be grown up and dealing with difficult things soon enough. I am so grateful my seven year old twins are so protected and innocent. They are enjoying their childhood, as they should. I intend to extend this precious time as long as possible.
    Which is why I waited to send my summer birthday babies to kindergarten, and have not regretted it a single second. In fact, I am grateful every day we waited because of all of the benefits we are enjoying.
    I so look forward to reading your blog. I admire you as a mom and woman of faith, as a writer and photographer.
    Saying a prayer that you can just shrug this off, and aso for anonymous.
    Blessings,
    Susan I

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  53. Kim,
    I have been a lurker for probably 3 years now. Please don't let the anon poster affect your blog. I love it! You are a great mom in a wonderful family. It is a pleasure to watch and learn from you.

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  54. Sorry this happened......I hate when people are so rude and "hide" behind Anonymous. That's why I disabled it on my blog, people have to be signed in or they can't comment. I just don't want to be burdened with silly people:)

    Kate is beautiful and she is YOUR daughter......you will make the best choices for her. Hands down.

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  55. Kim, I was once told, "Hurt people, hurt peole... makes sense. I'll be praying for anonymous. PS, I'll send you an e-mail with all our itenary.

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  56. :( you know best for your little girl. Keep positive your blog is lovely I'm new to it and I can see your love for your family and that is what is important, your family.
    Many blessings
    Shannon

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  57. No wonder she was anonymous! Sorry she left that comment for you.

    Blessings,
    Robin

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  58. That is extraordinarily rude. I can't imagine a downside to wanting your child to remain innocent as long as possible. Let's hope that whatever your decision anonymous's child is not in Kate's class.

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  59. Kim,
    Pay no mind to that person's hurtful comments. It seems to me that the individual that wrote the comment is most likely jealous of you. Hence, she felt compelled to lash out with rudeness in her judgmental comments.

    You are a marvelous Mother! I am always in awe of what a terrific mom, wife, friend, and blogger your are. Love your blog and admire your parenting skills.

    Don't give "anonymous" one more thought!

    Andrea

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  60. Seriously you can't worry about what one person says or thinks about your situation or family.

    I understand why you asked for thugs and advice, but some people just can't help themselves and just wait for an opportunity to voice their thoughts.

    I feel lucky because hay den misses the cutoff by a week. Academically I already know she would be ready at 5 but, she will always be little, and feel as though she will be not as in the "mix" as other kids(hopefully). So I am glad I will not be faced with that decision, I just have to worry that she will be challenged academically.

    Good luck, you know you will make the right decision!!!

    Again no worries about a rude commenter!!!! They are welcome to not come back!!!!

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  61. Really? "Mommy"!? Why call you "Mommy"??!!?!?!?!

    I actually laughed.

    I ultimately have to agree that most people don't regret giving their kids that extra year. I wish I would have given our June son another year. its a lot harder to do later. I feel like we are constatntly trying to play catch up.

    I also agree that life isn't covered in sprinkles ;) But I "get" putting yourself out there and I appreciate your willingness to breach some subjects that may help someone else! I love seeing what people suggest and hearing different opinions.

    The hate I could do without.

    Big Hugs!
    Sara

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  62. Kim,
    Don't let anonymous commenters get you down! I stumbled across your blog and at 22 am so happy to be considering adoption as part of my future. You will make the right decision for Kate, you know her best! Good luck, and I absolutely love your blog!

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  63. I have no children, but I have a blog (though it's brand new).

    The best part about blogging is - your audience CHOOSES to read your posts. No one forces them to. So if they don't like your posts, they can stop reading. Leaving a nasty comment is absolutely unnecessary.

    Your posts are wonderful and I truly enjoy reading them, even though I am a college student who's not married w/o kids :) Thanks also for the sharing the plan for reading the Bible in a year. Along with my blog, it is my new years resolution.

    Thank you!!

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  64. This is why I do not allow anonymous comments. They are always so mean and hurtful because they hide behind the screen. How sad that this person has to come on here and say mean, uneducated comments just to make themselves feel better.

    I love how open you have been about Kate! And I am sure you will make the right decision. I actually think the US should be more like Europe when it comes to a Gap year between hs and college. Looking back, I really could have used a year to intern or volunteer and figure out what I really want to do.

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  65. After having someone "tear me down" recently, I have taken solice in the fact that people who do this are either jealous or basically miserable (probably both). They will never learn or teach anything to/from anyone beacause they are so self absorbed that only their "answers" will ever be "right" in their minds. As hard as it can be when people are just plain mean, focus on the many, many kind words that you receive and deserve.
    Stacy

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  66. Kim, I am so very sorry. Truth be told you "rock" as a mother. Your posts and emails truly inspire me.

    Now, go change your settings so that anonymous posters cannot comment. Perhaps that way they will come out from behind their shields and be "man enough" to confront you face to face.

    XOXO Jessica

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  67. Grrrr, you know how I feel about anonymous commenters...pray for this person, that is what she needs most! Hugs my friend~

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  68. I think it's sad that this person judged your parenting style. We're all just trying to do our best here, and it's a tough world we live in that is constantly changing (way to keep us mommies on our toes!).

    I also think it's convenient that this anonymous commenter ignored the fact that you have already raised two very able and capable young boys, both of whom are becoming the type of young men you only hope your daughter meets and marries one day.

    While still relatively new to this whole parenting thing, there is one thing I know just from growing up in a family of four - it's that no two kids are parented exactly the same. You adapt your style to each child and what worked with your boys probably won't work with your girls.

    I often cried at the playground, at home, gosh, everywhere. I was a very sensitive child. But, I also had many great friends and a fond childhood. I realize things are different now, but I don't think they are so drastically different that she won't have the same. Only you and your husband know what's best for your child. And you know what, no matter how you parent, she'll probably always dislike conflict - I know I do.

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  69. That comment makes my blood boil and I also feel sorry for whoever that person is. Praying for them today that whatever has happened to cause them to be so bitter will be relieved.

    The enemy is always ready to attack when we are on the right path. Stay steady, my friend!
    Kim

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  70. Your blog is a breath of fresh air and very encouraging on parenting issues. Thank you for sharing your joy and positive outlook with your readers. Your posts are generous to others regarding the joys and the realities of raising a family. Much joy to you and the peanuts :)

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  71. Some people can be so rude! You're the best and have the sweetest family.

    Janet

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  72. Internet trolls is what I call them! Ignore them! They thrive off of negativity! Don't give 'em the satisfaction! You know your child!

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  73. unbelievable, kim! don't worry about it.

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  74. I am really in trouble because my six yr old still crumbles when someone speaks harshly (much less yell) to her. Water off a ducks back Kim....you are doing a great job.

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  75. Really?

    I remember someone telling me that I was so wrong to homeschool Hillary. This person said that she needed to "be on the bus getting her hair pulled like every other little kid in America." Really? I think she grew up just fine without the hair-pulling part :)

    Mothering is an art and the great thing about is that you get to do YOUR own way, following your own values and heart. It's great to share experiences and learn the perspective of others, but we, as moms, know our kids best.

    Glad you otherwise got so much kind, thoughtful support. I enjoyed the responses; they gave me a lot to think about.

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  76. i am not a blogger but read your post every day. there are days i don't agree with how you approach how you do thins in your life and with your children, BUT if i don't agree with you NEVER - EVER ALLOWS FOR RUDENESS. RUDE ANONYMOUS PERSON WHO LEFT VERY RUDE THOUGHTLESS COMMENT, FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO VENT ON - DO NOT READ NOR COMMENT ON THIS BLOG AGAIN - NOONE NEEDS TO READ YOUR NASTY UNKIND WORDS!!!!! GO PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE FACE TO FACE INSTEAD OF HIDING ON A BLOG COMMENT!!!! COWARD!!!!
    love to all! terry in pa

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  77. First of all, I would like to thank you for allowing all of us to read your blog. I find it to be an inspiration! You have an absolutely lovely family and there can be no doubt that you are a wonderful mother. Please don't pay any attention to the cranky critics lurking out there.

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  78. Just catching up and can not believe people can be so rude! Anonymous comments are just someone trying to make themselves feel better by putting down others. Ignore people like that we all have a few we run into now and then. Have a great Sunday!

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  79. Yikes Kim - thanks for "outing" this person. It's ok for a 4 year old to cry when strangers are mean to them - it's actually appropriate. Keep doing what you are doing - it seems to be working-
    love-
    karen

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  80. Love the valentines skirt. Do you mind sharing where you got it?

    I love your blog and the spirit in which you mother your beautiful children!

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  81. I know I already said this in an email, but you are gracious to respond in the way you did. And I'm not surprised at all.
    Such a hurtful, bitter and unnecessary comment. And certainly undeserving.
    Hope you're having a great weekend!
    xoxo

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  82. goodness...so sorry to read about this. Also so sad to read about Snickers. If we were local your Snickers would be an answer to our Buddy's prayers. He so wants a dog and I am so hesitant to take a dog I don't know. If you get stuck keep us in mind.

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  83. Well, let's see you are beautiful, look and act young, have the perfect house, obviously in a well off neighborhood(love the Wolf stove by the way). Your children, husband and you always look put together, classy and like very nice folks. Your posts are interesting and appealing because of the times we are living in our country. When a big portion of the nation seems to be losing the hope of the American dream/way of living to mortgage crisis, high unemployment rate, oil prices, etc. The regular housewife (when we have the time that is) sits in front of a computer and finds your charming blog and realize that some people still can live the dream in the USA. Those who are happy with their lives, celebrate with you and the ones who are unhappy, miserable and bitter make comments to steal your joy and somehow ruin a little bit of your day, making you post about then.
    Envy dear Kim. Envy, jeaulosy and anger.
    Somewhere a BIG AMERICAN GIRL, lonely, bitter and ANGRY (obviously not a MOM HERSELF!!! ) has the need to make you feel like a terrible mom. When everybody can plainly see that you are a real life Samantha from BEWITCHED. Focus and keep on wiggling your nose. Your blog is wonderful and you keep on charming us all!
    From The Woodlands, Texas

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  84. If you want to track that person who wrote that I know how. There's nothing "anonymous" online. There is in fact a bunch of places I can list that will gladly provide I.P Adress to determine her location and even where she lives. Check her criminal record, etc.
    It could also be a "he" who visits your blog to see your little girl's pictures. So be careful what you post. Even criminals in prison have access to internet. Sorry but we cannot be too careful with our children.
    All of you moms out there. Blogger will happily provide information on anonymous users. We really need laws to protect us and our children from internet bullies.
    Maggie

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  85. Kim, Anonymous is the one who should grow up, If they have nerve to say hateful things to say about a child who has endured so very much in a short life time they should at least have the gumption to not hide under anonymity. I was held back in Pre-K because my mom sheltered me from starting kindergarten when she felt I was too young and I always thought that was a wonderful choice, Kids are little once enjoy the innocence while you can no need to rush the big scary real world!

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  86. Although I don't know you other than reading here, you seem so gracious and lovely.

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

    Unfortunately it all boils down to the state of the heart when someone decides to be ugly. Our hearts direct all our emotions, thoughts, intentions, and deeds. "For out of the overlow of the heart, the mouth speaks." [Matt 12:34 Amplified Bible] Good hearts produce good fruit!

    Thank you for sharing, and even posting the not so beautiful side of blogging.

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  87. I think you do a wonderful job parenting your children! You remind me so much of my Mama when I was little. I was very naive and still am to some extent. I'm 23 years old and I enjoy being naive. Some things I just don't want to know or acknowledge them. Your blog is encouraging and I really enjoy reading! Oh, and my world is decorated in candy covered sprinkles!! :)

    -Rebecca

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  88. Hi Kim

    I follow your blog from England, i'm 25 and hope to adopt one day, I love your interior design posts and the way you share the lovely things you do in your family, stand strong and follow your heart, I'm sorry you've had to deal with this negativity, as my mother taught me, it costs nothing to be polite!

    Best Wishes from Liverpool, Katie

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  89. Egad! That commenter obviously was not raised in a home like yours or she'd have been taught not to say something so hurtful and unconstructive.

    Back to your original question, as a former teacher I would advise you to hold Kate back if you have any doubts about her readiness for kindergarten. As you know from your two boys, a lot is expected of kids these days and Kate's experience with school will be much more positive if she is prepared to meet those challenges. If she is presented with tasks and topics when she is emotionally or cognitively ready, Kate will likely pick them up more quickly and approach school (and life!) with greater confidence and joy.

    Trust your instincts on this, Kim. You know Kate better and love her more than anyone!

    Hugs to you. You have a lot more fans than detractors!

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  90. Wow! I can't believe how rude some people are! I am so sorry you had to have some miserable person write something like that on here!

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  91. WeLL SAID KIM!

    People are just RUDE! RUDE!
    Makes ya want to "Block" them!
    Facebook has it.... how come blogger doesn't?

    Fact is... this is someone who would probably never come up to your face & say such.
    I mean... why would you....
    it's just not right.

    Hey Anon..
    WHO ASKED YOU?!

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  92. WeLL SAID KIM!

    People are just RUDE! RUDE!
    Makes ya want to "Block" them!
    Facebook has it.... how come blogger doesn't?

    Fact is... this is someone who would probably never come up to your face & say such.
    I mean... why would you....
    it's just not right.

    Hey Anon..
    WHO ASKED YOU?!

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  93. Wow. That is just ignorant and nasty. I'm sorry that happened.

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  94. That makes me sad that someone would write that to you!

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  95. Love your blog.
    Love your style (parenting style included).
    I waited a year to send my son to school - felt another year of maturity could do more good than harm and it worked out well for him.
    Your blog is a blessing to ALL whether they realize it or not. Keep being the good example that you are and we'll keep following.
    Prayers for you and yours.

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  96. Hey people! I hope all you rude and judgemental people are reading this...I'll only say it one time! Remember what Thumper's mom and dad taught him in the movie Bambi..."If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". Live by it!

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  97. If I could (financially able that is) I would yank G out of public school right now and home school because of her inability to negotiate social situations when boys (or girls) make fun of her for some reason or another. Dealing with it now in 1st grade. G will not stand up for herself for fear of getting in trouble by the teacher. Drives me mad. Keep Kate home for as long as you can and if possible maybe even check into homeschooling. They don't grow up too fast away from public or for that matter private school.

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Thank you for your kindness.