A Comment on Commenting

Friday, January 16, 2009

I have a confession to make~I am a terrible blog commenter. Maybe you already knew that. Some of my friends are really good (like her and her and her too--there are many more).  They always seem to know just the right thing to say in a comment. I will often read a post and enjoy it but I just don't have anything to say. Which is kind of weird because in real life I seem to always have something to say (often as an encouraging listener).  I constantly debate with myself if I should I leave a comment to say "cute photos"  so they know I was there or should I save my comments for when I really have something to say.  I ponder this often.  What do you think?

As I was pondering this I realized that one of the reasons I am a bad commenter is that I despise small talk. I am always amazed at the people who elevate small talk to an art.  It is such a gift. I would rather go to a small dinner party and really engage people in deep conversation that make a bunch of small talk at a big party.  One year I was the president of a fund raising organization that hosted parties (once or twice week) from January until May.  It was so challenging for me because most of the parties were large and while I am not shy at all...I just don't like all of the small talk that goes along with big functions.  It is not me.

So, I am not saying that the gals who are good commenters are small talkers... I am just wondering if that is why I struggle with commenting on others blogs. I guess the fact that I am the world's worst typist does not help either. I am very curious to what y'all think.  Is it rude to pass on commenting if you cannot think of deep and specific things to say?  I don't want to be rude but I also don't want to leave a shallow comment if I cannot think of something to say.

Thank you for all that y'all are doing to help the Saunders.  I have been told that their son had to have a sudden appendectomy yesterday...so they really need lots of prayers and help.  Check the links below to see how you can help them.


  1. I just had to comment after reading :)
    I hope its not rude to comment. I read your blog daily and struggle with something clever and worthwhile saying. I am also a "listener" and reading blogs I take that as "listening" Love your blog. Thanks for sharing your family with us~

  2. You mean I'm supposed to COMMENT?!?!!! Oh.

  3. Kim, You know I don't always comment on blogs either. It's not that I can't think of something to say, sometimes I think I don't have much new to offer that hasn't already been said. Lots of times I just plain agree with the post. You aren't a bad commenter. I will add that the picture of Kate is very sweet.

    :) Gail

  4. Kim, I wonder too about commenting - so for comments on your postings, do you prefer we wait until we have a lot to say? Anyway, love the colors in this photo of Kate - her clothes and the background.

  5. WW---Ahhh...you raise a good point. When there are very few comments, I assume no one was interested in that post. So, perhaps I ought to comment just to show interest. Every comment touches me so I think I just answered my own question with you help. Thank you!


  6. I'm with you. I comment when I have something to say. I always "think" something about the posts I read and always enjoy them but I don't always feel the need to comment. I'm a talker so, like you, it's odd that I don't always have something to comment. I guess I just don't know if someone wants my every thought on every thing they write.

    Now, having said that, I LOVE to GET comments :) What to do? LOL


  7. I agree...I too love comments, but sometimes just a quick "cute pic" is just enough to let my friends know I stopped by...that being said...I have enjoyed reading your decorating posts, but have not commented ONE WORD...I guess I am reading those like a great magazine article :)

    Hugs to you!!

  8. Often times I just look and read for the lack of time to comment but I do love to read comments on my blog.

    Such a cute picture.

  9. I don't always comment on all the blogs I read either. But there are a number of blogs where I feel I'm friends with the blogger (weird maybe?) and so commenting is kind of a way to say hello, keep in touch and let them know that I'm reading and enjoying getting to know them better. And I always like to see photos too!
    Have a good weekend!

  10. I tend to make a attempt to comment to let the person know I value their opinion or post because being a stay at home mom like I am, I know how sometimes validation is important, just someone to say "hey, I feel the same way" or "Hey, cute pictures" or just plain old "Hey" somedays really makes ones day. Seeing how many followers you have on your sidebar is awesome.

  11. I really like this post because I can so relate. I am not good at small talk and do not do well in big groups. I prefer smaller one on one conversations.
    Anyway, back to commenting:) I am guilty too at reading and not commenting all the time. I usually try too however just to let them know I stopped by. I think most people like to know you at least stopped by. I don't get many comments so I of course love them!:) Having said that I am also guilty at not commenting when some one already has tons of comments. See, there goes that "not being comfortable around a lot of people" problem I have!:)lol
    I am just thrilled I get to stop by and "meet" so many wonderful people through this blog world!

  12. Kim, you have such a big following to your blog. How could you possibly make comments on each and every blog that stops by your way? I'm sure you make your way around to everyone's blog eventually to check in to see what's going on with that person. At least that's what I think you do...lol???
    Your a wife, mom, and homemaker. There just isn't enough time in your day to comment on everyone's blog everyday. I like that you pop in every so often to my blog and leave a comment. Makes me think your thinking about me as a bloggy friend, but I don't expect it all the time, because I know your plate if so full in the bloggy world. I come to your blog everyday, but I don't leave you comments all the time either. I'm such a cliff notes kind of gal. With my blog and the comments I leave(except for this one) sorry...lol.

    Have a great weekend.

  13. it is a toughie. Like you mentioned above, if I don't get many comments, I feel my post wasn't worthy, yet on the other hand I need to be blogging for me and posting memories for myself and family whether anyone is interested or not. Many days though comments do make my day and make me feel like someone cares, understands... I try to comment at least once a week and skip some posts if the blogger is a frequent poster unless the post has a question or I feel they need support.
    I let them know I am out there, I don't lurk and stay anonymous. I would really love to know who a few more of my readers are that I see on my site thingy but I have tried to lure them out with giveaways, questions etc, to no avail.
    Have a wonderfull weekend Kim!

  14. Cute photos-just kidding :) I'm with you...I try to comment just to let people know I dropped by. I love comments :)

  15. My husband is bad a small talk too....I can talk anytime, anywhere and talk about absolutely nothing!

    My point...and I do have a point. You don't comment on every one of my posts but the ones I need you the most...you are ALWAYS there! Don't ever change!!

  16. I think commenting shows interest in the post and encourages the blogger. That's why I like to at least leave short comments. BTW, Kim, your photos are so lovely it would be hard NOT to comment.

  17. I guess I'm kind of a small talk blog commenter. I always feel a bit guilty if I don't comment, especially if it is someone who always makes a point to comment on my blog. I certainly don't think it's rude though if someone reads one of my posts and doesn't comment.

    I say do what comes naturally, and if you're not a natural small talk commenter (I think you've coined a new phrase here, LOL), then don't comment. I don't think anyone should feel like it's some sort of obligation.

    Cute pic, by the way. Really....it is. :)

  18. I feel the same way as everyone else.
    When we post, we want people to comment. We see that people are coming to our blog, so we want to know who it is? Were they just passing through and didn't care for our blog, did they like the post and just couldn't think of anything to say, do they agree with what everyone else so therefore they don't comment, or do they just not like to leave comments (small talk), what about the blogs that have over 100 comments-does that blogger even read all of those? I've been all of these things. I have decided after this comment, that I know how much I enjoy getting comments, so I vow to leave comments on all posts that I read! :)

  19. Kim,

    I think people appreciate a comment. As long as it is sincere, a short comment can let someone know that you enjoyed their post/photos. I certainly don't feel like I share many "deep" comments necessarily, I like to just say what is on my mind and how much I enjoyed a post, whether it is small or deep. Hopefully my comments on 3 peanuts have never seemed "small talk". I love your blog and am truly inspired by you! Have a great night!


  20. Well.... I like to just let the person know that I liked something or just to say hello..
    I don't always comment on every post I read.. I am sometimes lazy...
    But don't feel guilty..not everyone likes to comment..
    I know you LOVE ME..
    And just so you know..
    I love reading your blog and you always have really good suggestions..
    by the way..
    I LOVE my shirt.. but now I need to order a short sleeve one.. I wore my long sleeve one today.. everyone LOVED it..
    Have a great weekend..

  21. :) I hope it isn't rude to NOT comment... I am a faithful reader, but a rare "commenter"!

  22. It doesn't bother me at all when people don't comment. Sometimes I go days without commenting if I just have one of those weeks when I can't think of anything to say.

  23. I enjoy comments, but I understand that often people lack time or can't think of what to say because I feel the same way many days!

    Your observations about large parties and small talk really resonated with me. It had never occurred to me, but that describes me perfectly. A couple of times when there has been a large gathering at my house, I've been glad I was hosting so that I could sneak off upstairs for a little bit! (I'm referring to times when we've hosted something like a hockey parent party, not a gathering of my close friends!)

  24. Hey Kim,

    I like to post comments just to let the blogger know I am out there and I also feel it helps to form a "bloggy" friendship:) I love receiving comments and they do make me feel good and even make my day at times. My blog is more pictures for my family that lives far away. I love your blog and visit usually daily. You have a beautiful family and thanks for sharing it with us:)


  25. I wish I could comment from my reader. Don't you?

    I am the world's worst commenter. I need one extra hour added onto my day.

  26. Shame on you for not commenting all the time.....lol.....just teasing....I agree with you on wanting the post to mean something....I don't always comment either....but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it.

    Have a good weekend....

  27. I love getting comments big or small. They are encouraging! :)

  28. Hi Kim,

    I think you need to do what comes naturally to you....my comments are usually sparked by something I see or read in the post that I can relate to.... There are often times that I might read a blog and not comment....if you have nothing to say, than you have nothing to say.......believe it or not, even this girl who has the gift of gab is left speechless at times:)

    Hope you have a great weekend....it looks so warm there...we are FREEZING here in PA....it is a chilly negative 2 right now!!


  29. Oh I forgot earlier too, I got the shirts I ordered and they are ADORABLE! I bought 2 for friends and can't wait to give them to them! Thanks for the link and the fab discount. :)

  30. Well, now I fell like everyone has said what I wanted to express so now I don't need to comment :).

    I'm very bad with this too and was a lurker for a long time before I finally stopped being lazy about commenting. I often "think" about posts and appreciate them - I just can't think of anything particularly meaningful to say. Maybe I'm just not good with words. (I have noticed that my blog is a lot more photos based than writing & stories oriented).

    As much as I hate to leave comments that I feel are shallow, I just try to remember how much I appreciate comments no matter how brief. It is nice to know someone stopped by - if only for a moment.

  31. Kim!

    You are the best commenter I know!

    I don't comment all the time, but I do read all the time. It kinda makes me feel guilty when I don't comment! :)

    That being said, I have another question, how do you answer your commenters questions when they don't have email? :) Here is the answer to the hair clip question, I've been meaning to tell you, but couldn't decided which post to do it on, this one works perfectly! :)

    Lilah's hairclips were all bought from sellers on Etsy! The personalized ones specifically were bought at this sellers boutique...


    Check them out, they have a fabulous new Valentines collection now, which I am all over like a dirty shirt!!

    You are an amazing girl, I just want to thank you again how you posted about our family on your thankful Thursday post a while back. That was so sweet of you, I was humbled with your kindness.

    Love, Jill xx

  32. Oh, by the way...I ADORE Katie's sunglasses! :)

    Jill xx

  33. This is a great post. I was a big lurker. I love reading blogs and I love meeting new people. I am not shy at all. I don't get a lot of comments on my blog and I have always felt maybe my blog is not exciting enough. I get very excited to see a lot of comments because to me it means my post was of interest. I get a lot of traffic on my blog which tells me I have a lot of lurkers and that's ok.
    I decided that this year I was going to stop lurking and start commenting. If commenting on my blog makes me feel happy how could I not comment on someone elses. So far I have met a few new blog buddies and some have ignored my comments. Maybe they think I'm a blog stalker LOL
    Kim, you are such a sweetheart and when ever you do comment it comes from the heart and means a lot. You do not have to comment on every post...who has time for that? Do what feels right...: )

  34. Oh, that is a great question! I am really struggling these days to keep up with my blog reading. : )

    I like to receive comments of even very few words, because I like to know who visits....so I try to do the same when I visit blogs.

    I LOVE the picture of Kate! Too cute!

    have a great week-end!


  35. I don't always leave comments on others blogs, but I sure love it when people comment on mine :) It is nice to know who is stopping by. Thanks for your post. Cute picture of Kate, as always :)

  36. I'm not always a good commenter either.. it will depend on whether I feel like I have anything to say too- and I'm not great at small talk either, but I AM big on saying how cute your kid is :O) But, that said, I still often don't have time to comment- life is hectic too (and I don't even have E home with me yet!)...

  37. Well, I am one who does have my own blog (at least, not yet!), but I sure enjoy hearing/seeing new ideas, clothes,music, etc. from everyone all over the US. (I can't even tell you how much you and some of the other bloggers I follow have educated me.) With that said, I will say that I don't usually comment unless I have a unique perspective, but that doesn't mean I am not thoroughly enjoying the posts. (I do try to comment at least once so as to not be a "lurker".)

  38. I like this post and it got me thinking. When I first started blogging I left lots of comments and those people tend to still leave comments on my blog. As life has moved ahead I dont always have the time to leave a comment. I do have to admit I do love it when people leave comments. It puts a smile on my face and it is a highlight in my day.
    By the way I really love your blog. It always has lots of info and love how you try different way shots with your camera. I have so much to learn. :)

  39. Here I am making my first comment on your blog...I'm a lurker and a commenter sometimes. I always feel like my comments are silly. I try sometimes for a few minutes and either hit post or back out. I'm trying more this year though.

  40. I am a really bad commenter too. I don't want my comments to seem fake, so I often choose not to say anything at all. With that said, I love when I get comments. I judge my posts by which ones get the most comments, and if I don't get any, it is somewhat disappointing. My goal is to start commenting more on the blogs that I enjoy so the people know that, well, I enjoyed them.

  41. I like this post...very funny in a good kind of way! :) I personally like any comments (as long as they are nice of course!)...comments make me smile!

  42. Good point. I don't see myself as the best commenter. Sometimes it is hard for me to express myself without, smiles, applause, jumping up and down and asking questions. :-)

  43. So...ummm....somewhat oddly...I couldn't quite get a comment together for a day!! :-)

    Of course I love any comment and am always tickled that someone visited us...but a meaningful comment is so...well...meaningful. As I have "met" more bloggy friends, I have had to find a bit of a balance. I will often read several new posts at a time...and then go back and comment when I have a bit more time. Like OHMommy...I love google reader and so wish I could comment from there!!!

    Your post amused me so much because in real life I am painfully shy...backword even which, I think, is often interpreted as "no personality" or "snobbish" so I am really thrilled that you found me to be a good commenter. You made my day!!!

    I hope you are having a good weekend...I so love the Hello Kitty band-aid on Kate's finger...buy our boxes of band-aids by the dozen when they go on sale. Hello Kitty can make any boo-boo disappear...wheter the real or imagined variety...magical!!


  44. Hey Kim, I feel the same way. I used to comment on every blog I read EVERY time I read it...but now I just don't have the time, and I don't always have something of interest to add. By now, I trust that my blog friends know that I love them and that I'm reading when I can.

    I just got caught up on your posts...I loved all the stories about Kate.

    I will be praying for the Saunder family - how horrible.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend...we are hibernating around these parts. brrrrr.

  45. Kim... this post made me laugh a little bit, because I think it speaks to all of us. And, like Eloise, I realized from reading what you wrote, that I don't really like small talk either. It seems like it sabotages real connections. I am a pretty open person--- more so after what I have lived through the last few years. But I do love to hear people's impressions of my thoughts--- it gives me perspective. So I love getting comments (though I've not yet had any mean ones). I don't think it rude to NOT leave one, however. Did that make sense?

  46. Interesting post and it got me thinking (that says a lot lately!)
    I enjoy leaving comments on other's blogs simply because it makes me happy. Selfish, I know, but it is true. I am a natural born talker, have the gift of gab and by golly, I am going to use it...even if through commenting : )

    I started blogging to chronicle my life and Paige's, but never dreamed in a million years I would have found great friends.

    It's a win/win if you ask me!

    BTW-Kate is too, too cute!

  47. i think i usually comment. even if i just say something like nice picture. i do that because i think it is nice just know that someone came by and looked at my blog. golden rule do unto other...ect. the only i don't comment is if i am just randomly looking at a blog. i think read your's, for example, for 3 months or so before i commented. i didn't want to be a random thing. that is a little odd. my real opinion (after all that rambling) is do what you are comfortable with. why should your "blogging self" be any different from the real life you?

    <3 amy

  48. Hi KIm! Now my mom is reading your blog too! :) She thinks you do a great job "writing to your audience". It is so interesting and fun to read your entries! :) I agreed with her!

    You asked about my new job. In my previous job I was doing health IT consulting for government clients. Now I will be doing business development (sales) for another consulting firm, focusing on their health clients. :) I don't like to say the companies since it is a public blog.

    Any prayers for this situation and new job would be very much appreciated! Hope your family is doing well!

  49. I like to comment because I want folks to know I am reading their blogs. I DO dislike small talk at functions and avoid going to those things when I can. but I never mind saying cute picts to my fellow bloggers!

    Interesting point you made though, and one I never thought of!

  50. If it makes you feel any better, I have read every single post you've every posted and probably only commented 75% of the time. Depends on my time, my schedule, if I'm reading them in bloglines or actually opening up the whole page and yes, it depends if I'm in a chit chatty mood. I love comments, because it lets me know who's reading. Sometimes I don't even have anything to say in my post!

    p.s. I always thought your comments were very personal and I've loved that about you.

  51. Kim, You were the very 1st comment on my blog that didn't come from someone I know personally. I was thrilled to know that someone else not only read, but thought enough to comment. Thank you for that.

    I've tried to remember that as I visit other blogs, but I don't comment as much as I maybe should- for various reasons.

    Bottom line- I think that there is emotion tied to every comment and so if you feel it, leave it! You never know when you may make a difference in someones day!



Thank you for your kindness.