A letter to my daughter

Kate had just been home about 10 days in this photo. It is one of my favorites. We were taking her to church for the first time. I tried to get a good one this weekend as we celebrated our forever family day but Kate was runny nosed and grumpy and I was old and haggard looking so this is as good as it gets. I sure have aged this year!


My dearest Kate,


One year ago I had the privilege of holding you for the first time. I will never forget how you looked up at me that first time. You gently looked into my eyes and something miraculous passed between us. You knew that I was your Mommy. You did not cry or look scared or resist me. Just as you knew, I also knew the moment I held you that we would have an unbelievable bond.


This first year with you has flown by. It has been a tough year in some ways. You were blessed to have lived with a foster family in China and I think you missed them very much in the beginning. Every night when we tried to sleep, you cried out. I know you were scared so I did everything I could to comfort you. I have rarely left your side this whole year. Eventually, you learned to trust me, but it took a while to get to where we are now.

I am so thankful to your first two Mama's! Your birth mother in China must be a very brave woman. She obviously could not keep you and we will never exactly know what the circumstances were but we do know that she loved you so much that she wanted you to be found and loved by another family. It is illegal to leave a child in China and the puinshments are severe. Your birth mother risked a lot to gently place you on the hospital steps, a place that she knew you would be easily found. That is a selfless act of love and we will be forever grateful to her. She did not leave you Kate; she made sure you would find a home. I hope she knows the joy that she has given us. I hope she knows that you are deeply loved by your Mommy, Daddy and your brothers.


I am also immensely grateful to your foster Mom. I do not know her name but I have pictures of her. You were found when you were just one day old. You were taken to the orphanage for a physical but then you immediately went home with your foster Mom. You never spent one night in the orphanage. In fact, the orphanage director knew nothing about you because you were never there. It was immediately obvious to us and everyone who met you that you had been SO loved. You immediately knew how to love. You kissed us and hugged us from the very beginning. You knew I was your Mama and you called me that just days after you came home. Your heart is so big and you are so affectionate and I truly believe it is because of the love shown to you by your foster Mom. I promise you that we will go visit her one day and thank her in person for caring for you for the first 10 months of your life.


Kate, this year has been incredible. I have seen your first steps and your first English words. We have celebrated your first birthday, your Baptism and all of your first holidays with us. The joy I see in your eyes fills my heart. You are everything I dreamed you would be and more. I will never, ever forget the first time you looked at me and said I love you. Will and Harry were born loving me. They trusted me from day one. I had to earn your trust and earn your love. It was hard work but I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Love that is earned is very special.


There are so many things I love about you. Each morning as I get ready, you sit at my vanity and play with my make-up brushes and imitate me. You love music (you call it oooh-ahhh) and you love when we sit and sing and do finger plays. Whenever I finish a song, you say "more?" in your sweet little voice. You adore your brothers (you call them "the boys") and you look for them around the house when they are at school. And oh how you love your Daddy. You run to him with a HUGE smile when he comes home from work shouting "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" You also love our doggie, Scout. You get very upset when we put her in her kennel and you often let her out when we aren't looking:)


You do not really play with toys. Instead, you follow me around the house trying to do whatever I am doing. This is very different than how your brothers were and I am still getting used to it. We do have lots of tea parties though. You love tea parties! You also love to be outside and that is something else I am getting used to as I am not a real outdoorsy person. You also love to eat and you will eat almost anything. You love fruit (strawberries, grapes, apples, pears and bananas). You also love fish, Chinese food and Mexican food. There is little that you won't eat. You even love your omega fish oil supplements!


Kate if I had to describe you in one word it would be sweet. You are incredibly sweet. You are kind and you are gentle and you are the sweetest little girl I have ever known. I look forward to a lifetime of love and laughter with you.

With so much love,

Mom

This is Kate and her foster Mom less than a week before Dave got her. They gave Dave this photo seconds after they handed Kate to him. I think her foster Mom really wanted to be sure we got it. She also dressed Kate (under the huge orange puffy clothes) in a hand-knit sweater and booties. I think they were made for her and they seem very special. If anyone who has adopted from Nanfeng knows who this woman is, please let me know. I plan to also post it on their Yahoo site.