The third one put me over the edge!

Sunday, March 30, 2008
Updated--Denise has Maggie and e-mailed me some photos in the middle of the night. You can see them all here and read about it here (have tissues). She is SO beautiful! Denise said she is a little sad but amazing. Here is one (okay, two) to hold you over until you click away....

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Maggie is saying "Mama" here at the prompting of her nanny. How sweet is that?

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Asleep in her Mama's arms.



I am sitting here waiting for Denise to get her loving hands on Maggie Mae in China (like she is going to call and tell me all about it or something). I started thinking that Maggie will be their fifth child! I am in awe! Let me begin by saying that I love my children dearly and would not trade any of them for anything. Let me also say that I think ALL Mommies work very hard. It is hard to have one child or 21 children. It is hard to stay at home or to go to work. However, I can pinpoint when my life turned into a 3 ring circus.

Back in the day when I had two children, my house was immaculate (and I do mean immaculate). I was the picture of organization. Everything had a place and it was always in its place. I took the kids to the library each week, we did crafts (sometimes), I cooked lovely meals. The houseboy and I even had a date every week. The laundry did not pile up and everything was ironed. I was room parent and I was darned good at it too. I was even the president of a local charity in my spare time. I NEVER lost things. Then it all changed. When, you ask? When I became the Mom of 3 kids!

Most of my friends have 3 or 4 kids. I didn't plan it that way. They just do. I remember when I was waiting for Kate and my life was clean and easy and organized with just two kids. My friends with three children would often say, "That third one just really makes it hard" or "Just wait, Kim, that third one really puts you over the edge." I knew they were just warning me but inside it hurt because I wanted my third one (Kate) so badly and the wait was SO long. But now I know what they meant.

I don't think it is the actual third child that is difficult. Kate Emerson is actually a rather easy child (especially considering what she has been through). I just think three kids pushed me over the legal limit of sanity. My house is a MESS and I do mean mess! I am very disorganized and I lose things all the time. Just this week, I lost my keys. And I did not lose them for a few hours. They have been gone for a week! I am still room parent but I am not a very good one. We rarely got to the library anymore and I am the picture of disorganization. I keep thinking that the old Kim will reappear and I will pull it together but I am not sure. I just might have morphed into one of those Moms with 3 kids (who calls them all by the wrong name). Oh and sometimes I look at these families with like four and five and seven kids and I think---How do they do it? I really want to know. How do y'all do it?

Please tell me.


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I love how Kate is just watching her brothers here.

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Oh, she is pure sweetness. Look at those adorable lips!


P.S. Denise "might" e-mail me a picture of her Gotcha tonight! That is why I am really sitting here at my computer. I am so excited! Please pray that it all goes well for her.

53 comments:

  1. Oh I so know what you mean! I love my kids, but that 3rd one added exponentially to our household work load.

    I've heard that adding 4, and 5 do not add so much. But over 5 it gets interesting.

    I'm just not sure I want to find out! LOL

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  2. I think it still looks like you are amazingly organized! You are so good at entertaining - having beautiful holiday parties and showers - and decorating. I don't have time or organization for either and all I do is work!! Remember that lately you have been sick and so have the kids, then throw in Spring Break, so you might feel a little more behind.
    I love the new photos. Have a good week. Hugs, Dale

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  3. HA HA HA > I am laughing, because it is so true. You will get your life of organization back, but it is a ways off!!!

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  4. I can relate only because I had one child for 10 years and I was a different person and we were a different family altogether. I am amazed at how adding a little girl to the mix has changed everything! I am so excited for Denise, poor girl hasn't had the easiest trip that is for sure!

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  5. Thanks for telling us you are no longer immaculate though I some how doubt that. And, thanks for blogging. Yours is one of my favorites!

    www.sammynmick.com

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  6. I hope someone else out there really does have it figured out, because I, too, would like to know the secret. We had our 3 girls within 2 years (twins does that to you) and now I look around the house and wonder, "What the heck happened?" I feel like the mom in that Suave commercial (before the Suave makeover.)

    I lost my keys last week - it was terrible. We were trying to get to dance class and with Easter vacation that week, I was eager to have activities for the kids. Also, we had purposely cut short our weekend trip to my parents' house because of the class, yet here we were, stuck at home. I pulled all 3 carseats out of my car to put them in my husband's car (he happened to be out of town) but then looked at his key and realized I didn't know what to do with it... (I've never driven his car, it's new, provided by his company and he has one of those keys that doesn't look like a key and I thought I needed to find a way to open it up.) So there I was in our driveway with all 3 carseats sitting on the ground, dance class has started, the 3 kids are crying, the house is a wreck (I had torn it apart looking for the keys) and I'm ready to lose it... A few hours later as I'm finally cleaning up, I pick up a pair of (clean) toddler panties off the kitchen table... and there are my keys underneath! I had brought them down for one of the (potty trained) twins who had earlier peed through her clothes onto the floor (just another lovely part of our morning) but she had insisted on a pull-up instead.

    Oh, the joys of motherhood!!

    (Sorry for the long comment!!)

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  7. Oh sweet Kim....I have only one child and our house is a mess and I lose everything! I am chalking it up to being over 40! hee-hee!
    You are beautiful and organized and sweet and your children are perfect...and I do mean that! But most of all YOU ARE BLESSED! Oh how blessed we are to be called Mommy everyday...I love that name! Oh how I love to hear Chelsi call for me....The one thing I aspired to be in life was a MOMMY! Such an awesome job with immeasurable rewards and blessings awarded daily...from kisses to crafty gifts...to sweet prayers uttered out of her precious heart!
    Oh what sweet days!

    I am praying for your friend Denise and her journey in China! I am anxious to hear all about her Gotcha day!!!

    Love and hugs,
    Denise C

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  8. I can relate, life was easy 1 1/2 years ago, even with 3 kids. I used to be on top of things and had time to spare. Now, with five (twins!), I want to celebrate when my house is clean, or just get away so it stays that way :). Of course I wouldn't trade it for the world and I've learned to overlook many things that used to drive me nuts! Soon I'll have plenty of time to keep up on my house but life won't be near as exciting.
    I agree, you always seem on top of things with such a neat and orderly home. Do you photoshop out the clutter? lol Thanks for sharing.

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  9. You're hilarious!
    And, you are SO FAR from being "over the edge"!

    But, I also look at moms (like you) of many kiddos (3 is a lot to me!) and wonder "HOW ON EARTH!?"

    Hope you heard from your friend.
    XO

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  10. That just cracks me up!! I agree that the 3rd really changes things. I was never the perfect picture of anything before Mia but I was room mom and have pretty much been nonexistant this year-- thanks mostly to a no sibling policy started this year (great wait 2 years to get mia and then they start this policy right when we get her home-- uggg). I use to do educational things but not now with the little crazy wiggly girl. Now we do fun things that will keep her entertained. Things have changed for us too but like you said-- you woudl not change it for the world. I will take my crazy, hectic, disorganized, frazzled, non date night, non educational life anytime over what we had before Mia!!!

    Christy :)

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  11. SO glad I found your blog. We are waiting family and I have enjoyed reading your stories.

    God Bless!

    Amy

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  12. I always appreciate your honesty about life....I wonder what it will be like for me when we adopt our second child??

    I enjoy reading your posts.

    Thanks for pointing me out to the artists of that song.

    Take care, Michele

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  13. I don't think anyone's most childhood memory is an immaculate home. A little chaos is the sign of a full life. Enjoy the abundance and don't worry about the rest. When they're grown and gone--as mine are--you'll get your order back and you'll wonder why it was so important to you. Have fun!

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  14. Dear Kim,
    I have 4 daughters and things get pretty crazy at times. I think as they have gotten older, things have gotten easier because they help more. I have always wanted everything to be neat and put away and clean. But I have come to realize that children grow up too fast- just look at Savannah- 18 years old and in college... so who cares that the house is a mess. Your husband still loves you and your children are precious! You are a great mom and raising them with love and security. All that matters is that you get up each day and take care of your children- all the other is just fluff. Let it go and live you life free! I am so praying for your friend Denise and Maggie Mae.
    Hope you have a great day!!!
    Shay

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  15. Kim,

    I agree that third one can push you over the edge. Be kind to yourself. From where I sit at this end of the key board you are a wonderful, loving, caring mom and thats what matters.

    Lea

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  16. C'mon Kim, anyone that can set an Easter table like you did can't be over the edge! :)

    I just have one right now so I'm scared of just two kids...thanks to you it looks like we're stopping after the next one! :)

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  17. oh i think you still must be pretty amazing!
    i have just found for me that i can do all the things well that i'd like to do...something has to give. having a little one still at home makes "homelife" seem a little crazy. yet, when they become teenagers i feel like the inside of my home is organized but i live in my fuel-sucking machine every afternoon & that we are constantly running here & there. when they were younger i felt i atleast had a routine for dinner , bath, bedtime etc. now,hmmmmm....not so much.

    love the little pic of kate in her cuteness navy top
    hugs!!
    ps--her quilt square is coming, pinky promise
    xo

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  18. Oh thank goodness I'm not alone!! With 3 teenage son's and now a 3 yr. old little girl, I feel as if I've lost my mind. I keep telling my son's that by the time Hannah graduates high school they'll have to give her the graduation party because I'll be in a senior home somewhere trying to remember my own name, little own theirs!

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  19. Kim,

    I have no advice about how to do it because I am not sure I'll be able to do it with two. :o) However, I think I just have to learn what matters most...

    I hear Lindy Li calling out for me...So let the madness begin...

    Have a great day and thanks for the super pictures of the Peanuts on this post!

    Hugs,
    Lisa

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  20. Oh my word, those photos of Denise are just beautiful. I am so happy to see people with their babes.
    I must say that the 3rd child does make big difference. Our house is crazy too, but like you I wouldn't have it any other way : )

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  21. Ditto. I've got 3 and 2 pups, not counting the mess dh makes! Hard to keep up some days. I think it's harder too, because I'm home full-time w/Sophia. More meals cooked, homebaked goodies means more dishes! Only rarely is my house really clean and organized, and then it seems it takes 2 minutes to have a mess again!

    It's a great club to be in though, isn't it? :)

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  22. Ahhh - I feel overwhelmed sometimes with just one! Preparing myself for a big change when we have two (but oh, how I am ready to have our second daughter with us . . . ) I sure agree with the others - you sure do things beautifully despite being over the edge! Your home is so lovely!

    Jennifer, mommy to Adrienne

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  23. Hi Kim,

    Well, two seems like a handful to me - if that is any consolation. I am a mere shadow of the organized, uber-mom I had desired to be, but on a happy note the kids are happy, pretty well-adjusted and the house is not the train wreck it could be so, I guess it is all good:)

    Speaking of which, your kids look pretty good for the going too, so it may not be as bad as you think;)

    Thanks for sharing Denise updates - so happy for their family and will continue to follow (stalk) their site!

    Have a great week!
    Heather

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  24. oh I am so happy for Denise~ Thank you for sharing about it. SO precious. I am going to go there after I leave and see more.
    I had just 1 child for 9 yrs. Life was very quiet and calm and I had nap time for me, book reading, an occasional movie, shopping alone... Life is way different now but I wouldn't change it for a second. I feel more fullfilled. I easily get overwhelmed though. I could never be one of the moms that has their kids signed up for several extra curricular activities. That would send me over the edge. I am very routine based. Even taking Chloe to dance 1 day a week which is the only planned activity we have sometimes makes me feel behind to get dinner prepared.
    I do keep the house pretty clean but only because I can't rest if its not done. I keep the laundry done at all times, no specific day for laundry. Just as soon as there is a load its done. I am terrible at misplacing things and spend lots of time looking for things though. I hide things from Caityln and Jacob constantly and spend hours looking for them. I am good about keeping the house work and the car clean and organized but I desperately need to keep papework, bills, this type thing more orderly. Thats my big shortcoming. What helps me most is getting up before everyone and doing the hair makeup thing and then I never feel behind. As crazy as life is
    I would love to add another Treasure to the Chest. Dad thinks we are overwhelmed now however. I know we are way busy, but I just constantly think of all the chidren that need a family. And I get such amazing fullfillment out of seeing my children grow up together. I really don't want an empty nest. My this got long! Yikes!

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  25. I forgot to say I love the pics and yes Kate has adorable lips;)
    I love how she is intently watching her brothers as well!

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  26. What a cute post! I think your standards are very high about what is organized. ( I can relate to that!)
    Either way, you are an adorable wife and mother! Thank you so much for the verse you left for me. It felt like a gift and I posted it and a thank you.

    I have been loving following the gotchas. What a great friend you are to post for maggie's mom, amoung other things! (You are always doing things for others!!) Such beautiful shots too. Why was that red dot there? I have not seen that before. Do you know of other children that have them???

    I hope you have a great day!!

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  27. Kim,
    As you know I only have 2 kids and I feel like I am on the brink. Just last week, I left the car RUNNING in the parking lot of Whole Foods while I did my shopping for 30 minutes! How crazy is that! For me, it was turning 40, adding the 2nd child and not working anymore. (using my brain) I know we have to use our brain to stay at home too but in a different way. I started doing Sudoku puzzles and am trying to challenge my brain a bit more. That hasn't helped yet.

    You seem so together and like the best mom and wife! I know you know this, but a clean house is not important and your kids look so happy and well adjusted to life.

    Love the photos today!

    Have a great week!

    Lisa Watson

    p.s. I finally got organized enough and got your quilt square and will mail it this week. It was so fun shopping for a fabric for Kate!

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  28. I so don't want my house to look like a Romper Room explosion. We are both "neat freaks" and I am trying to be organized with baby Raegan's things already. I LOVE the expression on Kate's face in the navy top...I wonder what she was thinking?
    Michelle

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  29. I don't know what to tell you, I only have one girl, I always wanted 3 kids.
    Your house looks GREAT! but I understand what you mean
    Andrea.

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  30. Oh and I have a suggestion about the keys. We both leave them in the ignition (parked inside the garage). I also leave my purse in there so I don't have to look for it when we start out! Only reciepts for the checkbook come inside.
    Michelle

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  31. Funny question my dear! I say that my memory slid out with the
    3rd kid....something does change with the arrival of a 3rd. I feel like gumby, pulled in to many directions. I just need a wife and things would flow more smoothly.

    Great photos....I'm off to check out Denise's story.

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  32. How well I know where you are coming from! I have 4 but two are married and gone!!! I still call them by the wrong name!! I remember my aunt doing that and us laughing at her!!!

    But girlfriend, you aren't "over the edge" You look very organized to me!! Your house is always nice and your tables are beautiful!! Your children are dressed and fed, what more could you want?????

    Debbie

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  33. You took the words right out of my mouth! I was never very organized before Mia, but now things just seem to really pile up and I feel like I'm running in circles!
    Wouldn't change having 3 kids for ANYTHING, but it can be overwhelming!

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  34. I've got 7 years in between each of mine and I'm here to tell ya that it doesn't matter the age of the kids, 3 does make a difference. Not to mention my age is making a difference too. Some days I think I'm too old for this! But it's alllll worth it! Whenever I get really frazzled I watch Jon and Kate plus 8!
    Kim and Katiebug

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  35. I KNOW I'm in trouble....with just two, I mix up their names all the time! I've even called them "Petunia" a few times!
    You know it's bad when the dog gets in the mix!! LOL :D

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  36. Kim,

    Oh I can SO relate!!! When we brought Linzi home (she's our 3rd child), I really thought we would go back at least one more time. After having two children ages 8 & 10 at the time, I felt pretty confident in my mothering and domesticated skills. My life was nice and tidy, just like my house. :D Well, Linzi has been home for over 3 years and we have no plans of returning to China, or anywhere else at this point. I LOVE my life, but my plate runneth over! Three is definitely my limit! It is a constant battle to keep a clean and organized house and don't even dare look in my cabinets and drawers! :0 I am hanging onto the belief that it will all get better when Linzi goes to kindergarten - and my pantry, drawers and closets will be organized, color coded and completely contained again.

    I LOVE the second picture of Kate. Her inquisitive expression is too cute. And yes, she is pure sweetness!

    Sheryl

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  37. thanks so much for sharing about Denise and Maggie.....those "gotcha days" are some of the most special in ones' life to be sure! I get emotional with each and every story! The pictures of your kids are just adorable....like usual! As for the 2-3 kids....have not been there.....but 0-1 was a big enough change! :) Can't wait for 1-2 though!

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  38. LOVE the pictures...
    3 to me was just the same as 1 or 2... Now the 4th is going to be different.. only because I haven't had a little one around for many years..
    But I am sure it will work out..
    You do a WONDERFUL job..
    Hugs to you
    Have a Great Week..

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  39. How exciting to see those pictures! Maggie is such a cutie.

    Laughing about the 3rd child thing. I used to think it just got worse with every pregnancy (I would lose a little more of my mind), but I guess it really is having that third child. Believe me, I think we're crazy to get a
    4th. (but I can't wait!)

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  40. Oh, I forgot... lol... It does get a little better, or maybe you just stop expecting so much of yourself!!

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  41. Maggie is precious and how wonderful that she is in her Mama's arms.... the Lord is so faithful!
    Oh, Kim...... I only have two children and I am a mess.... If you spent a day in the life of "Me", in my scattered in a million directions mind you would soon realize just how amazing you are. Oh, if only you could see what we all see in you my dear friend.... you inspire me, you amaze me..... like I said.... I think you are the bee's knees.
    Love ya
    Daleea

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  42. My MIL, a mother of one, once told me that...

    One child is a hobby.

    Two children makes a family.

    And. Three children make a circus.

    Wise woman. My life is definately a circus. My house is a mess. And I love it. Like you do. Sweet post and oh so very true! :)

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  43. Kim -- I completely felt this way going from one to two kids. I can't even imagine having three kids! However, I know you just adjust to whatever number you have. Some day, we will be organized again -- but probably very lonely too because our peanuts will be gone!

    Thank you for posting on Denise too. Maggie is just adorable! I am so very excited for her!

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  44. I only have two children and call them the wrong name all the time. I watched my niece and nephew last week and I was calling my own children by my niece's name and vice versa. It was a lot of fun having a trial period with four, but by the end of a week, I was ready to give big hugs and kisses goodbye and go take a nap. :-)

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  45. As a mother of five, I do think that after 3 it doesn't get much messier. But then, we had 3 children under 3 1/2, so after that it couldn't get too much harder! I had a 10 year old when we brought Libby home, and she has singlehandedly made a meww of the entire house! (Oh, & I am glad that Lent is over!;)

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  46. Oh, I saw Maggie Mae on myadoptionwebsite.com!! Congrats to them - what a precious little girl!

    You're not organized? Please, let the dishes go & the laundry stack up - but never stop blogging!! LoL!

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  47. Kim,
    I can relate to a lot of what Connie said. When Daniel came along a year after bringing Sophia home....I knew that my life would never be the same. There are days it is just crazy at my house. I've learned what to make a priority and what can be let go. I have never experienced such a high maintenance child as Daniel. Even on vacation, here in gorgeous Maui, we are bascially limited to what we can do. I keep saying things will get better each year as he grows....and then of course there I days I say to myself that I just must be nuts for being logged in for another! lol But at the end of the day...when they are all tucked in bed....I am so thankful for all of them....and still long to bring another home!

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  48. Hi!
    If you got my last post, ignore this one... I am having some major internet issues... Anyways, as I was saying... Ruby is honored to be part of Kate's collection of friends!!! So Cute how she loves them! She has learned from a wonderful Mommy how to be a wonderful Mommy!!! I know there will be a day when Kate & Ruby are playing dolls together!!! The pictures you posted of Maggie this morning are abolutely precious!!! I am so glad to see she has her, and her luggage too!!! :) Let's catch up soon after I get things back on track here after vacation. Oh, and when you find out how to get your life back in order, let me know!! I feel the same way with my two!

    Miss you,
    Me

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  49. Thanks for the pictures of Denise and Maggie. The are just so heartwarming. I think the best way to describe life with kids is organized chaos! I just keep telling myself that when the kids are all gone and I'm caught up with everything, I'm going miss them terribly and I'm going to want the craziness back. So, I'm trying to enjoy my kids now while they are here, because the time goes by so quickly! You are not alone in the way you are feeling.

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  50. Oh I dont have any advice...I dont remember what it was like just having 2...it seems there has always been 3. I do know now that they are older and gone in school all day, it's easier to run around and tidy up before they come home and cyclone through. I CANNOT imagine what having a 3 year old is going to do to the mix...but I cant wait to find out. I think what we all learn...is that at every stage there becomes a "new" normal...maybe you just found yours for right now :)

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  51. Kim,

    I feel the same way and I only have two! Before twins I had a career, an exceptionally clean home, I felt very together, organized and on-top of things.

    Not any more. Someone mentioned that Suave commercial. Boy are there days that I feel like the "mom" they show in that bunny costume!

    I think we're all just doing the best we can. :) And boy you sure look like you've got it all together! And for the stuff that matters, I'm positive you do.

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  52. We only have one - and there are days when I can't get a thing done, find my keys or stay organized. But like you I would much rather spend time playing, reading books and having fun with Lucy. That's what it is really all about!

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  53. Amen, check out my sock entry on my blog...That says it all! Thanks for sharing and making the rest of us feel better!

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Thank you for your kindness.