Tidbits

Monday, September 10, 2007
Scout got a new bed and a new haircut.


She is not really sure if she likes it yet. The rug used to be her favorite napping place.

Kate, however, loves Scout's new bed!

On another note....


This photo is now featured on the website of Plain Mary. A friend of mine gave me this great playmat at Kate's baby shower and now they are using the photo on their web site. Check it out. They will be at the Emmy's this month and are supposedly all the rage among the celebrity Moms. I think it is exciting that a picture from Kate's shower is on the site. I must print it and put it in the baby book that I do not have for her yet:)


Finally, thanks for all of the support and encouragement and insight to Kate's night time issues. Many of you took the time to send me encouraging e-mails. In my heart, I believe it is separation anxiety and not night terrors. Kate begins screaming whenever we try to put her down and leave the room. She is also doing it when I am out of sight for even a second during the day. I know separation anxiety is very normal for kids her age but it is absolutely exacerbated my her circumstances in life. She has only been home 1/2 the time she lived with her foster Mom. I only am posting this today because I know that a lot of Moms who adopt or are waiting to adopt read this and I want them to know what to expect sometimes. Kate is so easy and so happy most of the time but these children have a lot to overcome and it is not all peachy keen when they get home. We all know that intellectually but to experience it is difficult. Your heart literally breaks for them. I also want to let people know that adjustment and attachment seem fluctuate. Kate was sleeping perfectly well through the night for at least the last 2 months without a hitch. She did not sleep last night and I completely exhausted so we still want your prayers and good thoughts. Also, we are not 100% sure what we should do as a plan of action. If anyone has solid advice, I am open. I know it will get better and I love my little girl with all my heart. She is worth the sleep deprivation.

21 comments:

  1. Hang in there, it sure isn't easy, we dealt with that with Myah too. I sent you an email at your Comcast address.

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  2. Hey Kim -
    Hannah has done the separation anxiety thing too. It is getting better, but some days she wants to be held constantly. There were several weeks where I wondered how I would ever get anything done or get past it. I felt so incredibly bad for her. I am sure it will recur moving forward and I have not necessarily figured a good plan either. Hoping tonight brings a better night!

    Heather

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  3. Kim, As you know we have had some setbacks with Ruby too. I was up with her again last night, and she was in-consolable for part of it... After 2 hours of letting her calm down, she finally took a bottle and went to sleep. And, she is just waking form almost a 4 hour nap now.. Same thing, she seems scared and just wants to be held... I know we will get back on track, and so will you. I will keep praying for our girls! As you said, they are so worth the sleep deprivation. Hugs and praying for sweet dreams for both of you! -Diana

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  4. I appreciate the good and the bad you write about. I learn so much from you and all of the families who are already home.

    I can't see any of the pictures. I did go to the site. Those are really nice mats. It is exciting to see your picture on the site.

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  5. Oh you poor darlings (Mom and Kate). My children all had seperation anxiety, and I think that you are in right in that Kate seems to have the same behavior. The nightime crying breaks my heart. That poor little dear. People say I spoil my babes, and maybe you shouldn't take my advice, but I would just scoop her up and love her through it. I'd sleep in a recliner or on a couch and hold her all night. But no one else would probably agree with that : )

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  6. Kim,

    We too dealt with sleep issues with Adrienne . . . I totally understand what you are going through. It is both heart-breaking and completely draining. I'll write more to you in an email, but what I'll share here is that having her sleep with us is what finally helped. Hang in there and know that this will pass!

    Jennifer

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  7. How fun that you're on the web site! :) I want one of these mats at my baby shower! You have my continuing prayers for sleep. Try to nap when she naps today.

    Lilly

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  8. Both of my daughters had separation anxiety (and neither were adopted). It didn't help that Mom has to work full-time either. They would both stop crying at daycare as soon as I was out of sight. At night, it would always happen about 2-3hours into sleep; I would snuggle on the couch with them OR bring them into bed with us. I know, no comments from anybody, it worked for us. Both girls overcame their anxiety and sleep all night on their own.
    Kate

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  9. This happened with us as well with Mary Austin. Except she never slept through the night once we got home from China. It was not fun and honestly I don't remember exactly how we got through it but we did and she started sleeping through the night and by herself. then we moved last summer and it is like we have just arrived home from China with the difference being she sleeps through the night as long as someone is in her room with her. So that is what we do. Some nights I fall asleep and wake up in the am in the other twin bed and some nights I go back downstairs.

    So basically, I have no real good advice for you but to hang in there and "this too shall pass" and you are not alone!

    Big Hugs and love
    Julie

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  10. What wonderful pictures - I love the one of Scout not sure of where to go and of Kate in Scout's bed - too cute! I wish I had any words of wisdom but I don't - you are all in my prayers and thanks for sharing this information with us waiting families.

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  11. I love the picture of Scout hanging out of his bed! I hope you get a good nights rest tonight Kim!

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  12. Kim,
    No good advice here- but I think you are right. Of all the families I am in contact with- every one seems to be having the same EXACT issues with sleep with their girls right now- all came home around the same time- I just can't imagine it is a coincidence. We aren't really having sleep issues, yet, but Z's is manifesting in other ways. Bully behavior- especially around other adopted Chinese girls and tantrums. I know it has some to do with her age- but if you could see the look that comes over her face when she is introduced to other Asian girls- you would be amazed. She acts almost as if she has to establish her dominance. She was 14 months when we brought her home and have only been home 3 months. I too wonder how i should approach her issues!


    Prayers and thoughts go out to you- I know how hard it is to watch our girls go thru this!

    Stacie

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  13. Ugh. I so relate to this. My girls were both sleeping through the night almost immediately after retuning home. They had to as I was returning to work one week later. I like to refer to it at "Rony's bootcamp". I put them on our schedule as soon as we returned. If they weren't up in the morning I would wake them. Trust me they were begging for their naps the first couple of weeks. However, Abbey would cry every night for 5-30 minutes before falling asleep. It seemed to be subsiding but then she started waking up in the night. Numerous times. This went on for umm, almost a year! I would always check on her but never removed her from her bed. Some nights I would stand outside her room and sob. It is the hardest thing not being able to console your child. My little Katie would not let anyone touch or look at her for the first 8 months. If I was in the room she would only let me hold her. Other wise she would scream. Bless your heart. Big hugs.

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  14. Scout is too cute!!!! What a lovely little bed and Miss Kate looks just darling in it. lol
    We got the package today!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOOO I am so excited! The kids are giddy and thank you, Dave and the kids so much for your thoughtfulness! A special post is coming soon regarding your Beautiful family and the special gifts.
    I am praying for you all and baby Kate. I wish I could make it better. Hannah has been home over a year now and she still wakes up 1-6 times a night crying and won't stop till I come in and hold her for a few minutes. I think she just wants to test to see if I will come for her.
    I will be keeping you in my prayers.
    Sweet, sweet dreams my friend. Thank you again so much! Please tell Dave and the kids thank you and give them hugs for me.
    Love,
    Daleea
    (I will call you soon. Hope you and Kate are all over your colds."

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  15. me again.... love the play matt. It is gorgeous. That is really neat about the pic on the site.

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  16. That is the cutest picture of your pup laying half in the bed and half on the mat...too funny! we had a few minor bedtime issues when we brought our daughter home too, she did not want to go to bed and cried and cried. She was fine when we were at the hotel, because she slept with us, but once home, another story. I decided it wasn't worth the terror and anxiety she must have been feeling suddenly sleeping all alone, and we decided a family bed was in store. It worked like a miracle. An attachment specialist (Doris Landry)actually recommends a family bed as the best way to bond and form attachment. I know a lot of people frown on this, but it works. We actually loved having her so near and there really is nothing better than to wake up to their sweet face. It might be worth a try, but of course you have to do what's right for you and your family. Hope you get some sleep soon. Good luck!

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  17. When Caitlyn started doing this, here is what I did, I started reading Good night Moon to her at nap and bedtime and all through the night I would say the words of the story when she would call me and cry and get us up, after it had time to become routine, it seemed to greatly comfort her and it got to the point I could just say night night squeaky little mouse in a whisper and she would fall back asleep.
    I prayyou have renewed strength and wisdom.
    Connie

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  18. I wish that I could help, but as you know my Princess is a sleeper and has been since day one. Reading some of the comments makes me realize how many girls have this issue. Have you considered co-sleeping. I am a firm believer in it and that may help. There is a lot of material on the family bed and I am sure that you know that, but maybe it might help, especially if she was used to sleeping with the foster parents. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Ladybug hugs,
    Debbie

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  19. Hi, I just found your blog (through the blog another blogging friend follows) and my heart goes out to all of you! We're in the wait for our Kate lid 3/29/06(http://thewaitforkate.blogspot.com/) and have been so appreciative of blogs of families that have btdt. I can't offer any real advice as we're not there (yet) but in my heart I would say just hold that girl and reassure her that you're there for her. Thank you for your blog!
    Yvette

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  20. Love how 'unsure' Scout is of his new bed, he's on the fence...literally.

    Hang in there, that's the perfect age for the seperation anxiety, she'll work thru it.

    The play mat is amazing!

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  21. I don't have any idea on the sleep issue. I never had one act that strongly. I always made sure it wasn't anything physical like an ear infection, and then proceeded from there. Of course, I know it must be completely different with a child coming from her background. Sorry, I'm no help. I will pray that things get back to "normal" (whatever that is!)

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Thank you for your kindness.