Somewhere Between

Fellow blogger and adoptive Mom, Kristi emailed me the other day telling me about this film and that it would be in our city this week.  I immediately jumped online and bought 2 tickets for last night's showing.  My sweet husband Dave is NOT a movie person at all.  I am.  I asked him if he'd go with me but I did not really expect him to say yes.  He immediately agreed and I am so grateful that he did.  We needed to see it together because one cannot articulate the power of this movie.  There really is no way to describe it, you just have to see it.

I cried a lot.  I saw so many sides to the adoption stories we all share.  I had compassion for so many different parts of the whole.  I am still trying to process this amazing documentary. I would actually like to see it again because every single minute of it had me mesmerized.  If you have adopted a daughter from China, you really cannot miss seeing this. It will help you understand things that your daughter might eventually feel and it will empower you as her parent to help her through.

After the film, the filmmaker joined us on Skype for a very biref discussion and to answer a few questions. She is the Mom to a 7 year old daughter, Ruby adopted from China and she made this film to honor her daughter.  You can read the directors statement here.

I really enjoyed seeing/hearing the filmmaker but I got an even better gift after the film.  Sitting behind me was a 40 year old adoptee from Korea.  I asked her about her experiences growing up and when she started to really have questions about her identity and her heritage.  I wanted to know when the true, deep questions of identity and belonging emerge...not the occasional ones our little girls ask.  She told me that it happens whenever you start to "hate your Mom" in the tween and teen years (which all kids feel as part of normal development).  So part of the individuation that takes place in the teen years will have deeper significance for many of these girls.  She also shared some of her story and insight with me and Dave and it was so helpful.  This woman is a wife and a Mom and a physician.  She loves her family and is so grateful they adopted her.  She seems happy and fulfilled.  But she did have some angst in the teen years and she said some hurtful things to her adoptive Mom.  The things she shared with us are little gems of wisdom and insight that I will tuck away and hopefully remember when and if Kate goes through them.

I know some people don't want to see films like this.  Some people don't want to dig into the deep emotional wells. I understand that but this film is something that every one in the international adoption community could benefit from seeing.  It will help us to be better parents to our children and who does not want that?

You can check here to see when it is showing near you.  At our screening, someone had driven in from Austin and someone was visiting form New York.  It is that powerful of a film.