My apologies

Thursday, February 3, 2011
I sincerely apologize if I offended any of my fellow Catholics by what I wrote below.  A few people contacted me or left comments that they were upset and I am sorry.  I was only stating my perception and my experience. I went to Catholic grade school, high school and college and earthly adoption was never talked about.  I am THRILLED to hear from lots of Catholic Moms who have adopted and one person even said her Catholic Church recognizes Orphan Sunday.  I love being Catholic and I am so proud of my faith.  I was just making an observation about my experience and the Moms in my group all agreed that it is not a focus at our parish (which is one of the oldest and largest in the state of Texas!)   So, I am now convicted to speak to our pastor about this issue. Again, thank you for those who have shared their stories and my heartfelt apologies if I offended you.

27 comments:

  1. You are brave and right to post your perceptions and feelings. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH good grief! Thinking outside any box is good for the soul.And, you are a wonderful soul. In my opinion no one should have to apologize for doing this.



    Lea
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. No offense taken here :)
    My husband teaches at a Catholic high school, and our adoption journey has been a wonderful education process for his students. They've been so supportive and excited. It's nice to show the students at his school that there are so many benefits to adoption.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kim,

    You are a mother who adopted a child and a Catholic. How you blend those two topics (I don't think this is quite the right word!) into your life is your choice and yours alone, just as your walk with God and how you choose to raise your children. If you offended someone with your post, they have missed how important your faith and Kate are to you. And by the way, this is YOUR blog to write what YOU want!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anyone who "knows" you through your blog would know that you had no intention of offending anyone. It seemed clear to me that you were offering your own personal experience of someone who grew up in the Catholic church. Sometimes it's good to challenge others to think...and to action. Dialogue is nover a bad thing.

    Take care,

    Kate

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't think you have a thing in the world to apologize for! I agree with Katie. This is your blog to write what you want and I always LOVE reading your insights. In fact, I look forward to reading your blog more than any other that I follow. I think you are wise beyond reason and I love your love for adoption and Jesus!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh good grief... I am sorry you feel as if you have to apologize on your blog.. You were just stating your experience and your perceptions of YOUR religion! Sorry!! I do love that deep down inside you is my evangelical friend breaking free!!!

    Big hugs.. Can't wait to hear more about the "Big Snow Storm of 2011!!!"

    Gung Hay Fat Choy!
    Di

    ReplyDelete
  8. I just had to chime in and tell you that although I am not Catholic, I did not find anything offensive in your post. I have been reading your blog since before Kate came home... you are such a sincere, precious, Godly woman. I can't begin to count the times your blog has blessed me and helped me as we continue to wait for our China referral. Thank you for being the person you are... and always sharing so openly!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love you! One of my favorite things about you is your heart, that my friend is as big as Texas :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kim,
    I don't think you have any reason to apologize. You simply stated what you thought. Your words weren't written in a harsh tone what so ever. You even said it was your humble opinion and you didn't focus the whole post on it. And anyone who reads your blog, knows that you would never try to offend anyone. You had the best of intentions.

    Take care,
    Susie

    ReplyDelete
  11. Kim,
    No offense taken. Your heart is truly in the right place.
    I too love my Catholic faith.
    Peggy

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Kim,
    I just read yesterday's post, and first know that this doesn't offend me at all. But I will say that I really think it has to do with the part of the country you are in. In my little neighborhood of homes here in NY, out of about 70 homes, 4 of us that I know have adopted from Asian countries and we are all catholic. And we babptized her in the catholic church, (all of us). A lot of the members of my FCC group are Catholic as well, and there are many Jewish families too. So perhaps it is geographical.
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm a Catholic and an adoptive Mom and I agree with your experience. Very little of our annual appeal money goes to adoption programs so I always make a specific donation to a charity which supports adoption.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oy vey, I am sorry you feel you have to apologize! You are shedding light on adoption for many Roman Catholic communities that do not focus on it.

    I was raised RC and am now a member of a liturgical Bible church in the Anglican tradition. Although we have an adoption/foster care ministry at our church, it is rare that adoption is spoken of from the pulpit. Growing up in my RC church, earthly adoption is not something I remember hearing about at all.

    St. Jude Parish in Allen, TX has an outstanding adoption ministry and the priests do talk about it. Several of our Chopsticks playgroup members go to St. Jude and it is an amazing Catholic community.

    Happy Year of the Rabbit Kim!

    ReplyDelete
  15. No apology needed! We belong to a big Catholic parish and there are very few adoptive families there. However, there are many big bio families!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am Catholic as well and I actually agree with you. We need to make an effort to make adoption more accepted. My husband and I are just starting our family, but adoption is definitely on my heart.

    Keep up the beautiful blog!
    Alicia

    ReplyDelete
  17. Kim, no worries....we are Catholic and we adopted twice...our church was very welcoming to our girls. Happy 4th referral anniversary to Kate and your family...

    Janice

    ReplyDelete
  18. No apology necessary. I grew up catholic and found your perspective of the catholic church and adoption very interesting. Always surprises me how quickly people are to call someone out. You are very gracious.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm Catholic and found NOTHING offensive by your post..nothing at all. Sorry you felt the need to apologize for your feelings : (

    ReplyDelete
  20. oh pish posh! you were right in your first statement. and you made it clear that not every catholic felt that way but in general. and again, it was correct. i live in upstate ny where nearly everyone is catholic and adoption in those churches is very rare. i also often wonder if it is also rare in jewish families as many of the agencies require you to be christian? again not all but it's just an observation.

    ReplyDelete
  21. To all of the previous posters who are saying that Kim had nothing to apologize for regarding her adoption post, why were her feelings in that post more valid than her feeling that she needed to apologize? Just because you were not offended by what was written, and just because the intention to offend was not there, does not mean that some others may not have been a little offended or bothered by what was said. I actually found it very sensitive for Kim to write out that apology, and humble, as well. I think that she did the right thing by addressing those readers who may have been rubbed the wrong way by something that was written. Sure, you can't please everyone, but you can try not to alienate any of your readers by acknowledging that we all have different experiences, even when our situations have some similarities :)

    I am not Catholic, nor have I adopted...I found the link to 3 Peanuts over a year ago on another blog and bawled my eyes out reading about this family getting their referral and seeing that first photo of Kate. I have a 4-year old daughter, as well, so really relate to a lot of what is written about that Peanut, in particular.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I agree with all that is said in the above comments. I reread your earlier post, and it is not offensive in the least. Please dont censor yourself on your own blog. Especially when you didnt say anything to censor anyway.
    Been thinking about you a lot. We need to catch up. xo, Tessa

    ReplyDelete
  23. Seriously?! I'm Catholic (and like you - a PA Catholic school kid!) and an adoptive Mom. Our parish priest, after many meetings, forgot that Josephine was named for St. Joseph (one of history and the church's first adoptive fathers!!) and messed up her baptism. You were spot on... and I have never had any Catholic church, in any of the 7 parishes we have worshiped at, recognize Orphan Sunday. hmmpf!
    ;-) Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  24. You go girl! I'm a conservative protestant, but most churches are dropping the ball on adoption. It isn't just a good Christian thing to do. The Bible tells us to take care of the orphans. I think it is great you want to talk to your priest about it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I think that it is so obvious that you love your Christian faith tradition. You see (in your experience) a deficit in it concernignsomething very dear to your heart .and want to make it better.

    I was raised an Episcopalian and have love many things about my faith tradition. However, there are also many issues that I am very concerned about and speak very freely about them.

    Neither of us are bashing, just lovingly stating concerns... Big Hug!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Diane and family:-)February 7, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    I am an older Mama:-) Mama to five, my three youngest all adopted in China. I am also a cradle Roman Catholic. Years ago I remember, repeatedly hearing about orphan Sunday. Not so much anymore. One reason I believe we as Roman Catholics do not set aside a particular Sunday throughout the year to focus on the orphan is due to the fact that there are several charities/agencies/organizations who focus on the orphan daily. One example would be the Catholic Relief Services, also, the Catholic Charities. The Roman Catholic Church also support the yearly Rice Bowl. For years the Roman Catholic church has supported orphan care.

    I believe if we as Roman Catholics hope to see change we have to step out and be the change. Have you considered partnering or single handedly beginning an orphan care ministry within your local parish? Our parish recently began with an adoption ministry. Several families who have completed both domestic adoptions as well as international adoptions meet regularly for the parents as well as children to share in fellowship together.

    You might be surprised in speaking with your Priests, as well as lay people, that honestly, more people in your parish may be adoptive families, yet, no one has really formally joined in an attempt to grow a Parish adoption ministry...

    Anywho, google or twitter Catholic Relief Services and/or Catholic Charities....you will be surprised how much and how quietly, yet, with much compassion and continued effort the Roman Catholic church has done and continues to do on behalf of orphans worldwide.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You have no reason to feel badly about your previous post. You wrote about your perception from your experience. You wrote that you do note have experience with many other Catholic families who have adopted, and wish other Catholics in your parish could be encouraged to adopt. Other Catholics in other parishes will have other experiences and perceptions, and that's okay! What's true in some circles won't be true in other circles.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your kindness.