On being humble

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

James 4:6

Last year as I was reading the Bible, I was really struck by how much the Lord wants us to be humble.  I read quote after quote about how God wants us to humble ourselves.  I must admit that this theme struck me more personally than any other as I read.  I kept thinking about what it means to be humble.  I realized (with some sadness and embarrassment) that I was not very humble. I talked to a few friends about it.  I am an educated woman with a broad vocabulary but I found myself looking up definitions of humble and humility. I wasn't even sure I knew what being truly humble meant. To be humble means "to have a low or modest value of one's own importance."  I wondered, "Do I really want to be humble?"  I have pretty good self-esteem and isn't that a good thing?  Being educated as a counselor, I was taught that having a sense of value of oneself is positive.

You see, I think our society today teaches us to be anything BUT humble.  I think the word humble often has a negative connotation yet it is exactly how the Lord wants us to be.  I grew up going to church every Sunday and going to religious school but I also grew up hearing messages like "You can do anything you want to do in life" and "Believe in yourself and you will succeed."  Unfortunately, as a child, I never heard, "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

I constantly see parents encourage their kids to be the very best at everything, to "fake it until you make it", to win at all costs.  As parents, we  often "over praise" our children for every little thing they do. We get them involved in music or sports at ridiculously young ages. We do it because we love them.  We do it because somewhere along the way we have learned (and we believe) that praise and success is vital for their self esteem. So we praise them for going to the bathroom and we praise them for scribbling a picture.  As a result, people begin to believe that they are very important. Perhaps, too important.

People become "celebrities" by being on reality TV shows.  They become "important" because they have a bunch of multiples or they won a contest. Sadly, I think we have become a society that has no idea how to be humble and we certainly don't teach our children humility.  Instead, people drive around with bumper stickers boasting their honor roll kids.  I am guilty too. I do not have one of those bumper stickers but I have broadcast the accomplishments of my children on this very blog. In my everyday life, I beam with pride as they succeed.  However, I have also spent the last few months wondering how to be more humble.  I have wondered how to teach my children humility alongside confidence and a strong work ethic.  I have really pondered what exactly it means to be humble.

Today at Mass, our pastor answered this question for me.  Have you ever sat through a sermon and felt like the pastor was speaking directly to you? Well, that is how I felt today.  The priest never even mentioned being humble but he did say the the most important thing we will ever do or ever be is a child of God.  It dawned on me that THAT is being humble. Realizing that any accomplishment we make here on earth pales in comparison to being loved by God is the beginning of being humble.  No matter how important your job is or how much money you have or if you find a cure for cancer or raise amazing kids or have the most beautifully decorated home...NONE of that matters more than being loved by God. And He loves all of us.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should not only look to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4