Thursday, October 16, 2008

First, thank you for all of the incredible support and advice regarding Kate. It has been a rough few days. A lot has been going on here (but Dave says I cannot complain on the blog anymore;). I  cannot tell you how my heart warmed when I read all of the kind and supportive things all of you Moms wrote. I found incredible comfort in knowing that I am not alone. It feels so good to read from you all that this is normal. I savored every single comment and read them 2-3 times last night. I was feeling so defeated and worn down.  But now I feel encouraged and energized to deal with this phase. I do believe that our move and all of the transition has affected Kate.  I know that she will be even more confused when we move into our house next week.  But hopefully seeing all of her things in her new room and our furniture etc. will give her some comfort. I know we will sort it out.

Secondly, I am thankful for my compassionate, loving and empathic Will.  Yesterday was such a sad day.  Dave is up in Virginia supervising the movers packing our home. It fnally hit me that this is really over.  We cannot go back.  We had left all of our things in Virginia for the past 2 months for various reasons. I always felt like if things got too bad here, we could go back.  Now that is no longer an option. We are selling our house and our things are almost packed. I get extremely attached to our homes and I felt like I was losing a good friend yesterday.  Seeing my sadness and witnessing one of Kate's episodes last night, Will came up and put his arm on my shoulder and said, "Mom how was your day?  Are you okay?  You look like you might cry."

He was right, I was about to cry.  But instead I smiled, hugged him and thanked him for being so thoughtful. I cannot believe how selfless he can be at 11 years old.

He is also being a HUGE helper while Dave is gone.  Yesterday, he woke up at 5 am (way too early)  and was dressed and at the kitchen table eating breakfast.  He had packed his and Harry's lunch.  At first, I was mad that he was up so early. I was exhausted and not ready to be up.  Then he explained that he got up to help me since Dad was out of town.  He is such a good kid.  I am blessed.

I am also thankful that Dave is organizing our move on the Virginia end while I organize it on this end.  I just could not bear being there right now.  I might never leave.

There is so much more I want to write about based on incredible feedback I have gotten from you all.  However, I need to go buy our new washer and dryer.  Thanks for the suggestions. They really helped us.  After reading TONS of on-line reviews and talking to sales people, service people and friends we have decided to purchase the Samsung brand front loaders.  We had front loaders in VA and they shook the house.  The Samsung has an anti-vibration feature which is crucial for our 2nd floor laundry room. They also have an ionic silver option that kills mites and allergens in cold water.  I love that feature.  Only 8 more days in our apartment!!!


  1. Oh Kim... reading about your Will brought me to tears. I love having sons, as I KNOW you do, and boys who are so brave and kind to their mothers give me hope that this world is safe and that there will always be Dads who love their families. Because, as my Mom always says, "You are not rearing children, you are rearing future parents."

  2. What a precious boy that Will is!! I tell you, I LOVE my boys... they sure love their mamas, too :)
    I know it's hard letting go of your old house, but know that God has BIG blessings in store for you!! He wants even more for you than you want for yourself :)
    Keep on keepin' on.. you're so close to the finish line!!

  3. Will is such a compassionate kid-I love that!! I am so happy you are finally getting into your new house. You have weathered a lot and now you get to finally settle down. I am very happy for you. REmember-- this too shall pass-- I have to keep reminding myself of that each day with Mia-- she is quite challenging right now!!

    Cant wait to see pics of you in your new house!

    Christy :)

  4. Dear Kim,

    I started a comment to you about our Kate and how our two year old sunshine girl has turned into a Indiana summer day - stormy one minute, fine the next. Then, I read your postscript. It reminded me that I need to refocus on what is good.

    I loved your post today because I re-read some of the blogs I follow to help me realize that I am not the only mom who is going through some daily struggles with her children. Your blog truly has been inspirational to me to "choose happiness".

    As I was debating about what to write here, I was hugging my son, just enjoying the moment when I read a magnet on our own refrigerator that said: "Celebrate what's right, embrace what's possible". I know that I need to live that, and thought perhaps it might help you with these last dramatic and emotional weeks of moving.

    Here's to a quick transition into your new home; hopefully, it will be a breeze.

    Have a wonderful day!


  5. Kim,

    How sweet is that little man of yours! I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. My husband & I are first time parents at mid-life! Our daughter, Liliah is waiting for us in Guangxi, China. We have our PA, but are awaiting for that coveted RA. We hope to travel in early 2009. We are so excited and can't wait to go get our little love. Thanks for sharing your struggles, some good mothering tips and the beautiful pictures of your family. It has blessed me through the waiting. May God bless you and your family in your new home.

  6. How sweet is Will...what a kind and compassionate must be proud! I could just envision him packing the lunches!

    I am sure it was difficult giving up our old home.....but you still have all of your wonderful posessions that will bring back many happy memories as you place them lovingly in your new home....try to find some peace and comfort in that....

    Thinking of you!


  7. OMG - That boy is just amazing - amazing! I am so sorry that you are going through all this and I know it has been so tough on you - but reading about his compassion was just amazing! What an excellent mom you are!

    Good luck with the move and I will be praying for all of you - especially little Miss Kate :D
    Ladybug hugs,

  8. Oh, what a wonderful person Will is! It is great that you are raising such a sensitive son.
    You are so right that it is helpful to know you are not alone! I always feel bad that others are gong through similar challenges, but at the same time am so grateful to hear i am not the only one!
    Just so you know, even in these times of transition for you, you are still quite an inspiration to me! Thank you for sharing all that you do.


  9. What a sweet boy you have...Sounds like he knew just what you needed and that is so awesome! It's hard when our hubby's are away. I left for work yesterday after Emma braking down needing to change her clothes yet again and when I went to put her warmer jacket on her she was mad and didnt' want anything to do with it. I dropped my older 2 off at school and then Emma off at daycare and she cried and kept saying "but I love you mommy" Awe it broke my heart as I was loosing patience with the kids and I felt drained by Emma's not wanting to cooperate. I drove to work and all I wanted to do was cry. My husband is leaving for 2 weeks and I feel sick about it as it is so hard on the kids but he has no choice and has to go. Wish me luck!! Have a nice day and it's been wonderful getting to "know" you:) Your kids are adorable btw.


  10. What a sweetie Will is. Poor baby will be so tired after waking up so early, but how sweet was that!! Those boys are something special!!

    Can't wait to see pictures of the new house!

  11. What a thoughtful Will you have!!!! So sweet of him! Hope things get back to normal with Kate...somedays I wonder if the tantrum stages will ever be newly agred 5 year old goes through it still.

    We have the Samsung front loaders with the anti vibration and they work great!!!! Just make sure when you get it you take the shipping bolts off the back. When we bought ours we forgot and it was walking our floor...took us 2 hours to figure it out!!! Of course if we had read the instructions it wouldn't have happened..but who likes to do that? :) Have a great weekend!!

  12. Will is an awesome kid : ) I know you are beaming with pride. I love my front loaders but am due for a new set. I will check out the Samsung. Wow just a few more days until you are in your new house!!!!! You have come a long ways...give yourself a pat on the back : ) Keep that chin up!!! Don't lose the faith my friend.

  13. What a golden moment of parenthood to realize that your child is a wonderful human being PLUS has heard and absorbed everything you and Dave have told him and modeled for him! Yay! Still thinking about Kate and her acting out and realizing that in her short life she's had at least TWO big moves--joining your family and the current one. Even moves--such as being adopted by a wonderful family--are stressful in some ways. And yes, the move into the new house,however wonderful, means more change. Hang in there. You're doing all that anyone can do. Blessings.

  14. Will is such a kind and loving boy. You must be so proud of him. I wish Kamree would pack a few lunches at 5:00 a.m.!

    I hope your move goes smooth next week. Hang in there!

  15. Happiness is going to be that aparment in the rearview mirror!!! :)

    Will, you are such a blessing to your Mom! Way to step up and take good care of her and your siblings too!!! You are going to be such a great husband & Dad someday too!

    Kim, say goodbye to apartment life, terrible two's, and no posters on the walls! And, say hello to your new beautiful home and fabulous new laundry accessories, cable TV, your own closet and all the other things waiting for you... Can't wait to see it once you have gotten your hands on it!

    Like Stef said, the finish line is soooooo close!! You are almost in the victory lane!!!!

    Love ya,

  16. Will sounds like an incredible young man, your comments about his actions last night got me all choked up. That's the kind of personality that is innate - he'll be that caring his whole life.

  17. I am new to your I don't know all of your story of your move. But I have endured a move that I didn't want to make.

    We moved from California to North Carolina. I LOVED North Carolina. I loved my house there....our church....our friends....everything. Then after a couple of years, my husband's company got bought out and we were transferred to Alabama.

    I did NOT want to go to Alabama. I cried and cried. It was the hardest thing we had endured. When the cemetery telemarketers called the house trying to sell us cemetery plots, I'd tell them "If I thought for one minute that my husband was going to bury me in Alabama, I'd leave him right now!!!!!" They never knew what to say to that.

    Anyway, we've been here now for 16 years. We wouldn't want to leave here. I'm sure you'll find happiness where you are moving. All that really matters is that your family is together.

    But all the packing and unpacking is enough to drive you nuts.

    Your son sounds wonderful and thoughtful and loving and giving. What an example your husband must be!

    Hang in there. I know all of this isn't easy.


  18. What a blessing and fine young man Will is. Hang in there -- very soon you can start feathering your new nest.

  19. I know how it feels to have to leave a house you love. So happy all your stuff things is on its way and you all can get settled in your new house! I loved the stories about Will- what a special, special little boy!!! Take it one day at a time and watch God work!!!

  20. You poor homesick thing you. YOU have been through so much the last while. My heart bleeds for you.

    And, it is not surprising that Will is so selfless. Look at the examples he has in his life.

    Hang in there. You are almost there.


  21. Things are about to turn around! You are going to be in your new house and it is going to be wonderful!

  22. Okay..
    Will is an AMAZING son.. how thoughtful.. that brought tears to my eyes .. that is a well raised son.. you are a wonderful Mommy..
    Glad you will be moving into your house soon.. I think that will help Kate..
    Hugs to you my friend..
    Thinking of you..

  23. Aww... I was so touched by your little Will. What a sweet and thoughtful boy and what a wonderful man her will become one day. Blessing to you- Stacy

  24. I love that Will was up at dawn to be there for you! And making lunch...what a guy! Clearly he has some great role models.

    I am so excited for you to get moved in to your new house and begin the process of making it your home.

    I know Kate will love being out of the closet and in her room with all of the routines of Virginia.

    We are thinking of you!

  25. Kim, it was so sweet to read how Will was able to be there for you and help YOU in a time of need. What an amazing son you have! I'm sure it was difficult yesterday as things were finalizing from your VA life and a new chapter is beginning. :)
    I'll be praying for you.

  26. Oh my! I had no idea there were washer dryers with ionic features to kill dust mites in cold water! I don't think I've been this excited since Christmas Eve when I was 6. Thank you for sharing!

    I am absolutely positive Kate will be comforted by seeing all the familiar family things in the new house. Change is so hard and so much harder when you don't understand it and can't express it clearly. She knows how hard this has been on you. I think you will all be comforted by a real home, real space and familiar furniture. I'm sure things will start to look up soon.

    I also want to say I've been reading your blog for a while and I am so impressed with how well you have handled the last couple months. So much has happened and you have juggled a move that was difficult for you and for your kids, new schools, school-related issues, natural disaster, car accident, you've been sick... you've handled it all with an amazing amount of grace. I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to you but it sure looks like it from the outside.

  27. Kim, all of us with two-year-olds are going through the same thing. Last week, I made three behavior charts for my little one, and they seem to be working. The charts are for:

    -No Whining
    -I Didn't Get Mad Today
    -I Calmed Myself Down

    Guess what? We are actually earning stickers here. My philosophy is to try to catch em being good. Seeing the stickers will be good for YOU and your girl.

  28. Will is a good boy because YOU are a great mom! You did that!

  29. I'm sorry. I know that feeling. It hurts so bad. It's a grieving kind of pain that just doesn't go away. There's some moments when you forget and move on, but then you remember you feel bad, you notice the ache inside and think what's wrong -- oh, yeah, I'm not home.

  30. After reading several of your posts I just had to reach out to you and tell you that 1.) I love your blog & 2.) You are not alone. My heart really feels for you. We move a lot and I sympathize with you. It is such a tough time and the transition is so hard on everyone. I am a true Southern girl and we moved to CT in February--this has been the hardest move by far (I have a Kate too and she still asks to go back to Nashville), but after the dust settles it truly does get better day by day. I am here if you ever need a sympathetic ear, I feel like the Lord has given me a "heart" for movers, Lord knows I've been there enough. I will be praying for you and your family during this tough & awkward time.

  31. kim, i am so glad that everything is coming together! Will is such an amazing son you are so lucky!!

    You are in the home stretch (literally;) i can't wait until you are all settled and moved in.

    Sending love...clare


Thank you for your kindness.