A Halloween of many firsts...

Thursday, November 1, 2007
Updated at the bottom....

It was Kate Emerson's first Halloween with our family....
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It was also the first time Kate tasted candy. She had a little piece of a Reese's Cup and she LOVED it! That photo is in the slideshow. However, she did not love the hat that came with this costume....

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She also hated the very lovely Tom Arma flower costume I purchased for her.



It was the first time I met fellow blogger Denise who happens to live near me and recently got her referral for beautiful Maggie.....

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Denise and I clicked immediately and could have talked for days! She is so sweet and I look forward to a long friendship with her and our children--all of them! The above photo is Hannah (a sweet little girl that Denise was taking care of), Denise and Katie Ru.


BUT the MOST EXCITING first was...........


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Harry lost his first tooth! He will be 7 in about 6 weeks so we have been waiting a LONG time for this. I am really glad I took the Christmas card picture a few weeks ago:)


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It was also the first Halloween that Will found out there is not a "Halloween Witch." Will has always been allergic to peanuts and both of my kids are allergic to 99% of candy so Halloween can be tough for them. Many years ago a fellow Mom suggested that I tell the kids to leave their candy out for the Halloween Witch and she will take the candy and leave a small surprise (a book or stickers or Pokemon cards). We have done this for as long as I can remember.

Last night a few of Will's friends were over and he was telling them that he was leaving his candy out for the Halloween Witch. His friends said, "I never heard of that. There is no such thing as the Halloween Witch." He said, "I know. I think it is my Mom. " Then he looked at me and said, "Is it Mom?" I said, "Yes." He acted fine and went back out for round two of trick or treating with this friends and Harry.

However, when he got home, he was devastated. He sobbed in disappointment. He was angry that we lied to him all of those years and he felt anxious that his childhood was coming to an end. He questioned Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Luckily, he still believes in all of them. It is a good thing too because the tooth fairy came last night. I apologized and explained to him that I wanted him to still love Halloween even though he could not have the candy. He said, "I never thought Mom would lie to me." Oh, it simply breaks my heart.

The thing Will was most upset about was that he feels like he only has about 5 more years of childhood. He told us how much he still loves playing with Legos and being a kid and he doesn't want to grow up. It was very sad. He did write me a letter saying that he forgives me and he hopes I leave two packs of Pokemon cards for his candy!

I dread the day when he figures the rest of it all out.

Added to respond to a few comments: Jill and others. I really appreciate your kind honesty and insight. The only reason I did not tell Will about Santa etc. was because during our long talk last night, he told me that most of all he was upset that I told him I was the Halloween Witch. He told me that he still actually believed and still wants to believe. In that moment, I decided that I would wait until he figured it out on his own. I teach my kids the true meaning of Christmas and Easter but Santa is magical and obviously Will wants to hold onto that magic for a while longer. Thank you for wording your response with such kindness. It really means a lot to me. Parenting is sometimes a gut reaction and we don't always do it perfectly.

Here is a little slideshow of the rest of our Halloween photos. We went to a neighborhood pizza party in the park before trick or treating. It was a lot of fun!!





Lastly, I still feel very ill and run down and I am going to another doctor today. I plan to take about a week off of blogging to rest and recover. Have a great week everyone!

49 comments:

  1. Just darling....and I new that was a little spec of chocolate on her chin in the last pic! lol

    You must tell me where you got her costume. I need one for the future! It is too precious!

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  2. I got Kate's costume at Gymboree. I also bought a beautiful Tom Arma flower costume that she refused to touch! I will gladly sell the flower one to someone. It wa expensive and non-returnable. E-mail me if you are interested.

    Kim

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  3. oh I so hope you feel better quickly! Bless your heart, it is hard to take care of the kids when you feel run down.
    Poor WIll I am so sorry for his devestation.
    Yea for Harry's tooth! Chloe and Jake lost them SO early I was a bit sad about it. 4 and 5 they just seem way to young.
    Kate is beautiful as you know.

    Oh and for your question the other day, yes I do homeschool and try to take the kids for 1 to 2 outings per week. The kids are dong kindergarten and some 1st gr work so we still have a lot of time for fun at this point. We do little bits of sitting down and learning reading and math throughout the day in between fun. Its working wonderfully.
    FEEL BETTER QUICK!

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  4. I soooo enjoyed our visit yesterday...prayers are coming your way for healing!

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  5. Love all the pics and your kids all look happy and beautiful!!! Sorry about the Halloween Witch..It is so difficult to know how to handle all these things...I know doing Santa, EB and TF is fun but then it is so hard too sometimes : )

    Feel better!!

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  6. Love Kate's costume, it's so precious! You all looked liked you had a fun Halloween! The pics are great as always and I hope you get to feeling better soon.

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  7. Love the pics. Congrats to Harry on the loss of his tooth. Im sure many more will come out soon.

    I understand the issue with Will. My Ethan, who is 9, is questioning a lot of things. He lost a tooth a few weeks ago and both Kevin and I totally forgot to put the money inder his pillow. When he woke up he was very upset that he had been skipped and questioned the tooth fairy. Luckily she came the next night and he bought it but it is hard at this age becuase some parents try to keep the Charictars alive for a long time (like us) and others tell their kids that they are not real at an early age. I wish they would not but when your kids are talking to the kids who dont belive, it is really hard to explain. Anyway, good luck with that and love the pics!!

    Christy :)

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  8. Kim,

    So much to say...Kate was adorable as a pumpkin and is a girl after my own heart lovin' Reese's PB Cups.

    Congrats to Harry! And boy my heart aches thinking about Will. What a special guy with such a tender, sensitive heart. I pray you and Dave will have the wisdom to help him as he learns some of the things about life.

    I am so, so sorry you are still feeling lousy. If I lived nearby, I'd be bringing you some comfort goodies.

    Please get some rest and nurture your body and soul.

    Love,
    Lisa

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  9. Please feel better soon! I empathize with you and sympathize with Will. Please tell him that my 13 year old still plays with Legos and he is a really cool kid! In fact, there are many grown-ups who still play with Legos (many of them are very well paid engineers)!

    My son didn't go trick-or-treating for the first time last night. He decided he was too big and that he would stay home and give out candy, but still wear a costume (for the 'little kids'). Well, all was well until a big group of kids from his school rang our doorbell to trick or treat! He was really mopey after that - regretted his decision to stay home and I think was mourning a loss of part of his childhood, too. It is so hard to know what to say and how to comfort them at times likes this! We had a family Wii bowling tournament to try to cheer him up and let him stay up a bit past his usual bedtime. We did get a smile or two before bedtime, but he was still really sad. They grow up too fast!

    Take care,
    Laura Beth

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  10. Kim, I think you should tell Will about Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc. If he feels lied to, that's not fair to him. He obviously wants you to be honest. I have always agreed with your parenting, but not this. I certainly cannot tell you what to do, but I will share my opinion. You had an oppurtunity to share with him last night. I think it will be even more hurtful that you had a blatant chance to tell him and you did not. This confirms my take on not telling my kids about Santa, etc. All my children will be adopted, and it is important that they trust me compltely. By lying to them, I don't want them to question that I lied to them about something REALLY important. Like I sai before - I cannot and I do not want to tell you what to do. Just my two cents.

    Jill

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  11. All three of your kiddos look so cute in their costumes. It looks like they had a great time.

    Your story about Will was so touching. Watching our babies grow up is tough! He has such a tender heart and will grow up to be a fine young man.

    Harry looks so excited to have lost a tooth. How funny that he would loose it on Halloween (and he doesn't even eat candy!). ;)

    How neat is it that Denise lives so near you. It's amazing the connections that are made in bloggerland!

    I hope you feel better soon. Enjoy your time of rest -- we'll miss you!

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  12. Jill,

    Thank you for your comments.

    I updated my post to explain why I did what I did.

    Kim

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  13. Take care, and rest :D

    Kate is adorable as always, and regarding Will ~ Ian still wants to believe too :D It is so funny how similar we parent our children. I have my reasons, and I know that he "knows the truth", but there is so little time for children to be children. Do you know what I mean?

    Ladybug hugs,
    ;D

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  14. Kim - so much to comment on this post.

    1 The kids look fabulous!!I love all of their costumes - love the pic of WIll and his light saber (that is what it is, right? So, not a Star Wars girl!)

    2 Please feel better soon - I too am in the druthers physically and we can't quite figure out what the primary issue is, so I sympathize and wish for you rest and rejuvenation

    3 Congratulations Harry!! Em lost her first tooth last Thanksgiving and I was heartbroken (she was FOUR!)She has lost four more since then and just showed me another that is "wiggly".

    4 Bless Will's heart, what a wonderful boy and so tender...parenting is not an all or nothing deal, trust your gut and thanks for sharing something so dear to your heart

    Glad it can be remembered as a day of firsts in your family. Enjoy your week...
    Heather

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  15. Hope you feel better soon.

    Great pictures.

    Congrats to Harry on losing his very first tooth. I'm sure the tooth fairy will be very generous.. ::wink::

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  16. Kim,

    I think some time off is a great idea. I am working tomorrow, but I'll call you on my way there to see how you're doing.

    I'm sure you got my message, but I forgot to tell you that amidst the move, I took a moment to sit in the car to pray for you.

    I really wish I lived near by. I'd come over and help!

    Please tell sweet Harry I am so happy he lost his tooth. And tell the boys Miss Danielle LOVES their costumes! Harry had such great manners on the phone today. Your kids are the best. So are you. :)

    Feel better soon. Thinking of you...

    Love,

    Danielle

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  17. Kim,

    I ams so sorry you are feeling yucky! get some good rest!

    That costume is the cutest pumpkin ever.

    I miss when the kids all believd in the magic of childhod :)!

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  18. Your blog and posts are wonderful . Thank you and I will pray that you have a beautiful and restful week.

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  19. My wife and I look to your blog for inspiration in our wait in this process (pushing 13 months post LID). You can tell yout son that sometimes and you will always be the alter ego for rightness out there - and tell him that is your job to look out for him ALWAYS - positive or negative - THAT IS you as MOM. Even though you protected him by being the HW, you did the right thing - full stop. He will look back on it in due course with a different view. BTW, the fact that i am a huge SW fan, I told my wife your boys would be pirates but i was so wrong. the boys costumes are the best!!! Mark and Angela (KE is so damn cute also).

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  20. The Halloween photos are just too cute. I love Will and Harry's costumes and the little pumpkin too! Hope you feel better soon...take care of yourself.

    Karen

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  21. The kids are all just beautiful. I can't get over your photos... they are incredible... My heart breaks for Will... but I love that he isn't in a hurry to grow up like so many children these days. I love that he is confident and secure enough to follow his heart not his friends cues.
    Way to go Harry! He looks so proud! hehee
    I hope you feel better. Will be praying for you.
    God bless
    love,
    Daleea

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  22. What beautiful pictures, and a lovely post! Love the pumpkin outfit, but would have also loved to see her in the one she wouldn't wear!

    So sorry your boy is having a hard time w/the fantasy ending. We're one of those 'odd folks' that has never done toothfairy, Santa or anything like that with our children. Don't misunderstand, our children still have plenty of fun! :)

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  23. I still believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny...Tooth Fairy too. I have never told any of my children that they are not real and my oldest is 15. I still will never say it to him. Childhood in all its magic and splendor is stolen from us by the world soon enough. I won't be the one to do the stealing. I am glad that your children are still believers!!

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  24. Kimber~Great photos and posts as usual! You did the right thing in my book. Most all of my friends and myself included believed in Santa and the tooth fairy and we turned out all right in adulthood! I can remember in first grade laying in my bed one night and crying because I didn't want to grow up. Being a kid was so much fun and I knew then that it wouldn't last forever and it was so sad to me. Not long ago Taylor did the same thing. There are so few things that are magical in childhood anymore. Most kids find out from their peers at some point these things are fantasy and they will come ask you about it then, but that usually doesn't happen until they are old enough to handle it. I know you have strong gut instincts as to what is right to do in your situation with your children. Follow those instincts! You're a wonderful mom and so brave to posts these issues when not everyone who reads will agree with your decisions. Hang in there and we are praying for you that you will feel better SOON!
    Kim and Katiebug

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  25. Hey Kim,

    Whoever said there was a lot to comment about on this post was right! First of all, so glad you got to meet Denise! I've been getting to know her through a Yahoo group- we were both DTC in July. Of course she's going WAY earlier than I'll be going! :)

    Sorry you are still ill- I hope you are feeling better soon. I know we'll all miss your pictures this week. Kate sure looked adorable!

    I will write you privately about the "anonymous" comment on your comments section. I will only post positive comments on your comments section, so you'll be getting a private email from me. :) Take care!

    Laurie

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  26. Feel better soon Kim!!!

    ~Lynn/PA

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  27. What a week! I love her pumpkin costume. Things are crazy this way as well. Enjoy your week and get alot done.

    I hope you start feeling better soon.

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  28. praying for you, my dear friend.

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  29. Adorable pictures. We, too, have a Halloween witch that comes to our house a few days after Halloween. Since I have diabetes and I want to keep my kids healthy, they only get sugar in moderation. I also think you made the right choice by not telling Will about Santa or the tooth fairy. I hope you are feeling better soon!

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  30. I am sorry you are feeling sick. The costumes are adorable and I am sure you will always have your children's best interest at hand. My baby will believe in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy until she is old enough to be told. Why ruin childhood's most delightful years? No thank you, I am not PC on this.

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  31. I believe that the magic of Christmas, with its downy soft wings of hope and kindness, should be nurtured and preserved as long as possible. And while the moment of realization can be heartbreaking for children, it is in that moment that they will know that life comes with all manner of disappointment and Christmas is not about the number of presents, the size of the box, or the price tag affixed to it, it is about having the ability to give without expectation of receipt; the joy of seeing a face filled with surprise; the smells of nature enveloping their senses and the assurance that they are surrounded by a loving family, which is, as I am sure you know, the greatest gift of all.
    Yes, I still believe in Santa.

    I am glad you decided to nurture his gentle heart for awhile longer.

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  32. I love the costumes and think your kiddos are adorable. I'm glad to have found your blog. I love to follow the lives of people who have adopted!

    Debbie Wankel

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  33. What a perfectly pretty pumpkin Miss Kate is! And the boys are SO handsome! Congratulations to Harry for losing his 1st tooth- that is so exciting!

    Looks like a very fun Halloween!

    Let's talk soon!
    Love, Shana :)

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  34. So very sweet. I love coming to your blog and seeing fun pictures of your family. Just precious-darlin. Feel better soon.

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  35. La, La ,La, La , I am not listening! Who says there isn't a Santa ? I have yet to have a Christmas with out him (36 years baby!) You are a super mom , don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They are just jealous that you have such special relationships with your children. Blessings:)

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  36. I think you did the RIGHT thing. Keep them young as long as possible, our world wants our children to experience too many terrible realities (for example, working day in and day out, every day) way too soon. I say, let the child start to put the pieces together on their own...It will happen...Also, How do you make your children the cutest in the world in every single pic you take? Do you take hundreds and pick a few or are they really just that adorable? Lastly, do you think you will adopt again? I see so many families adopting twice, it would be interesting to see how that would change your family dynamic.

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  37. She is a beautiful pumpking - and the boys need to come over and enjoy Star Wars with my boys!!! LOVE IT!!

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  38. I have to agree with Jill. I think your son needs to know the 'truth' about Santa, tooth fairy's etc. I agree that last night might have been too much for him to hear it..but I urge you to consider helping him come to the realization what Santa et al really are. I remember as a five year old realizing that Santa was my mother (via the handwriting)...and I was okay with this..it was about 6 months later when I realized that the Easter Bunny was not real, that I got upset...and the reason that I was upset is that I felt my mother had lied to me...I was devastated by this realization (I was only 5) and it was for this reason I have always told my children that Santa, and the Easter bunny are all fairy tales..nice to dream about..but not real.

    Please do not think that I am judging you or implying you have lied to your child. I can tell that you have NOT lied to him and clearly you have the best intentions for your children. However, clearly Will 'gets it'...but is not quite ready to hear everything yet...but I think it will be sooner rather than later.and it would be better coming from you; rather than another child....

    Hang in there...you seem exhausted. You do a great job with this blog; trully inspirational...I do not mean to criticize you, but rather to share my perspective...

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  39. Kim,
    I love your lil' pumpkin! Congrats on the lost tooth experience! I, personally, think you made the right decision about the Halloween Witch. I don't know - in today's world, kids have to grow up too quickly! I think it's nice when kids can believe in the magic as long as possible! That's just my opinion though - you have to gu with your gut!
    Continue to feel better.
    ~Lynn/PA

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  40. Jaren and others,

    Thank you for your uplifting comments and all of the others. I know that I have done/am doing the right thing for our family. I loved hearing everyone's experiences and suggestions.

    To answer your questions...I do take a lot of pictures but I must admit that my kids are very photogenic. Even photographers tell me that all the time. I hope that does not sound bad. I also really like close-ups. I want to see their expressions.

    No, I am pretty certain that we will not adopt again. I do not have a ton of tolerance for chaos and neither does my husband. I think 3 peanuts is our limit. In many ways though... I would love another lil one like Katie Ru.

    Kim

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  41. Oh my gosh...she is adorable!!!! And the boys..so cute!

    I have 2 boys also...6 and almost 4 and I'mdreadig when they start learing that the things they believe in aren't real. That must have been such a hard day for both of you.

    I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. I hope you're feling better soon.

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  42. Kate is the cutest pumpkin EVER - even without the hat that came with the costume.
    And I'm sorry to hear you still aren't feeling well - you would never guess by looking at you!

    Congrats on Harry losing his first tooth! That's certainly a BIG first!

    And, your Will is just such an inquisitive young man - wise beyond his years...to see that his childhood won't last forever. What a sweetheart. And I'm glad he forgives you. We just do our best as parents and hope that our children see that our intentions are good, right?

    Hugs to you-feel better soon.

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  43. Hi there Kimber!

    I was wondering you still wanted to exchange quilt squares. If so, could you e-mail your address to me and timnkim@gmail.com and I will get ours over to you?
    I'm working on them today. : )

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  44. Hi Kim!
    Halloween looks like it was another special celebration! The boys look AWESOME! And Miss Kate, well, she's just the cutest pumpkin I've seen all season!! :)
    Congrats to Harry on losing his first tooth, that's very exciting!
    I hope you are feeling better and getting some great rest!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! :) Sending a (hug) too!

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  45. Harry looks so cute with his missing tooth. And Kates adorable in her costume.

    I think Will's friends were a little mean when they said that to him. I hate kids that won't keep their mouths shut. The parents need to tell them not to tell other kids if they know about such things. Of course kids will do it anyway I guess. I think that Will sounds like such a special little guy and the fact that he is starting to mourn the loss of his childhood is a huge compliment to you. I don't think you should worry about a thing. You handled it perfectly. My children all believe in Santa, etc., and I think it's a wonderful thing to have the magical traditions of childhood. He will always remember those innocent days with fondness I'm sure, and it was you that made it special. I hope you feel better soon.

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  46. Kim,

    Hope you are feeling better soon!

    Congrats to Harry! What fun!!

    Please tell Will that I still need to remind Mr. Tony that the Duplos are Lily's not his! You are absolutely never too old to play with Legos!!!

    Kate looks precious as always.

    Our love to all of you,

    TJ

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  47. sweet kim....hope you are 100% soon.
    your children are just precious as always. that little gymbo punkin is adorable...saw that one & wish little caroline could still pull that off!
    don't wear yourself out on the santa/halloween witch thing. we have or will all go through similar things. our children are very resilient & i'm sure all is going to be just fin.
    ( although as far as santa is concerned....i believe!
    drives my girls crazy!)

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  48. Kim,

    Personally, i think will's reaction is a great testament to your parenting skills. The fact that he is so easily able to articulate his feelings and hurt so openly with you is a wonderful thing- even though it must hurt badly to hear it. I also found it touching that he wrote you the note to say he forgave you. You know your kids and what is best for them- so go with that gut. I just wanted to comment on how touched i was by this little boy's insightful sensitivity. I think it speaks volumes on how he is being raised.

    The kids looked ADORABLE in costume!!

    I will be praying that you are feeling well soon!

    XOXO,
    Stacie

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  49. Kim,

    Hope your feeling well soon! Love the costumes,the kids look great! Ashton enjoyed the slide show alot over and over!!!

    Congratulations to Harry, 1st lost tooth, how exciting.

    I feel horrible for Will, it's so sad! Just simply sad. You did the right thing.

    Love,
    Dawn

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Thank you for your kindness.